That David Hasselhoff, he's a card. Always referring to himself as 'The Hoff', always releasing deliberately awful singles with self-deprecating videos, always laying around on hotel floors so drunk that he can't even eat a burger off the floor properly.
An extraordinary video of David Hasselhoff has surfaced on the internet. No, it's the not the long-fabled video of David Hasselhoff licking KITT clean with his own tongue, or even the super-rare video of David Hasselhoff singing a song that isn't so awful that it makes innocent people want to kill themselves – this David Hasselhoff video is of David Hasselhoff blasted off his mind on booze; so drunk that he can't manage to stand up, wear clothes, push clumps of hamburger into his mouth or understand his daughter who is trying to tell him that he'll be fired from The Producers if he keeps being so pathetically drunk all the time.
The drunk David Hasselhoff video isn't exactly a bundle of laughs, but we've got it on the next page for you to laugh at anyway.
David Hasselhoff has always been remarkably good at brushing off stories about his glaring obvious drink problem. Starting drunken fights at Wimbledon ? That's just The Hoff, that's what David Hasselhoff does. Drunkenly wetting himself at Heathrow Airport? That's just The Hoff, that's what David Hasselhoff does. Breaking his wife's nose while screaming "whore cunt bitch slut drug addict" at her in front of their children? That's The Hof… oh.
That's the darker side to David Hasselhoff's alcoholism, you see. So for every story about Princess Diana wanting to sleep with David Hasselhoff, there's another one about David Hasselhoff dialling 911 to falsely claim that his ex-wife had caused his daughter to attempt suicide. And while that sort of talk can be overlooked by a try-hard video to a pointless song like Jump In My Car, this video probably can't…
Top that, Alec Baldwin. The video, reportedly three months old, was apparently filmed by David Hasselhoff's oldest daughter Taylor as an intervention to try and get her father to confront his alcohol problems. Despite this, though, David Hasselhoff has tried to put the best spin possible on what still amounts to a video of him sprawled prostrate on the floor, topless, hopelessly drunk and unable to even eat food. E! Online reports:
"I am a recovering alcoholic. Despite [the fact] that I have been going through a painful divorce and… have recently been separated from my children due to my work, I have been successfully dealing with my issue," Hasselhoff said in a statement… Unfortunately, I did have a brief relapse, but part of recovery is relapse. Because of my honest and positive relationship with my children, who were concerned for my well-being, there was a tape made when I had a relapse to show me what I was like. I have seen the tape. I have learned from it, and I am back on my game. I hope that someone else will learn from the tape, as I have. I thank God for the love and concern from my children."
Hopefully the heartbreaking video will spur David Hasselhoff on to getting the help he obviously needs, but we think all the fuss about the video is making people miss the bigger picture. First Brandy starts a car crash that kills a woman and now David Hasselhoff is all over the internet as drunk as can be – what's happening to the panel of America's Got Talent? If we were Piers Morgan we'd be very, very afraid.
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Pedro says
That’s the most heartbreaking gigglefit I’ve ever had