It'll be ten years next year since Princess Diana died in a car in a tunnel in Paris. There will be many ways for the public to express its lasting grief towards Princess Diana, but none more fitting than by having a bit of a jig to Crocodile Rock.
The Princess Diana Memorial Concert is set to take place next July in the new Wembley Stadium, but chances are you won't be going to it. Not because the idea of a memorial concert for an over-privileged woman with an eating disorder who nobody even really liked before she died that much featuring the genuinely stomach-churning line-up of Elton John, Duran Duran and Andrew Lloyd Webber quite rightly makes you want to run into the sea and not stop until you reach the safety of another country, but because 60,000 red-eyed housewives with embroideries of Princess Diana as an angel on their walls have already beaten you to it. The Princess Diana Memorial Concert sold out less than half an hour after the tickets went on sale, and that's without Paul McCartney inevitably announcing that he'll close the concert with a version of Hey Jude so preposterously stretched out that people will end up wishing that it was him who bit it in Paris instead of Diana.
It's been almost a decade since Princess Diana died, and the events of that time still burn brightly. Weirdos buying more flowers and generally being sadder than they were when actual members of their own family died, weirdos ironically throwing so many flowers at the hearse of a woman who died in a car crash that they almost caused an even bigger car crash, weirdos starting fights in Woolworths because they overheard teenagers questioning the artistic validity of Elton John's quickly rewritten Candle In The Wind single, pretty much just a lot of mob-headed weirdos doing all sorts of stupid things… but Princess Diana's memory still lives on.
For instance, David Hasselhoff remembers Princess Diana because she almost had sex with him and George Michael remembers Princess Diana because she almost had sex with him – but what about the rest of us? The ones that Princess Diana didn't want to have sex with. Luckily Prince William and his titty-groping brother Prince Harry have organised a special concert for these plebs; The Princess Diana Didn't Want To Have Sex With You But Here's Andrew Lloyd Webber Anyway Memorial Concert – or Princess Diana Memorial Concert for short. Only you can't go to it because the Princess Diana Memorial Concert sold out in less than 30 minutes, as CNN reports:
Tickets for a pop concert to mark the 10th anniversary of Princess Diana's death sold out 30 minutes after going on sale, organisers have said… The concert, organised by Diana's sons, Princes William and Harry, will take place at the renovated Wembley stadium in London next July and feature acts including Elton John, Duran Duran and Pharrell Williams. The £45 ($88) tickets for the tribute were up for grabs from 9 a.m. but they were already attracting bids of up to £200 each on the online auction eBay. The online message read: "For now, tickets have sold out. We hope very much that more tickets will be released in the New Year. Please keep checking back here for further information."
So far the line-up for the Princess Diana Memorial Concert also includes Bryan Ferry, Joss Stone and the English National Ballet. The concert organisers have promised that more acts that reflect Princess Diana's musical tastes will be announced soon, which means that Chris De Burgh will inevitably either sing Lady In Red or use the freaky power of his magical hands to reanimate Princess Diana's body and make her do a bodypop to The Ecstasy Of Flight (I Love The Night). Also, it's being strongly rumoured that The Spice Girls will reform for the concert, as Princess Diana was though to have been a fan of the four singles The Spice Girls released just before she died.
Remember that Princess Diana was not the only person to die in that crash, though – and a special Dodi Al Fayed memorial concert is also scheduled to take place next year, featuring a confused-looking Michael Jackson half-heatedly murmuring We Are The World while Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind and Mohamed Al Fayed plays the bongos in Harrods car park at 2am on a Wednesday night.
Read more:
James says
You’re gonna cause a shit storm with this article!
Leek says
Couldnt have put it better myself :)
I was gutted when she died – it really messed up the TV schedules :(
properjob says
Yep, the saddo Brits are at it again. This inbred royal family is a disgrace to all humanity, and a national embarrassment to the tiny percentage of the British population that is capable of rational thought. Diana was a serial adulteress with woeful taste in men (never mind Charlie, how about the guy whose father made his millions trading arms with the venal reviled Kashoggi as a partner?). She manipulated her press image into the angel that the muppet British public wanted to see.
One sad example of the pitiful standards of the British media and the even more lamentable standards of ‘readers’ is the Daily Express tabloid which nearly a decade on, STILL has her on the front page several days EVERY week.
And meanwhile, the BBC puts things royal at the top of every bulletin on the front of every web page update, still clinging to its feted role as official royal ass-kisser media outlet of the world.
Wake up BBC. Nobody gives a flying f*ck about these sub-intelligent underachiever prats.
Leek says
Im a brit and not at all keen on the royals! In fact i think we should put em on ebay and let the americans buy them, maybe we could do something useful with the proceeds. Anything would be more use than those overpriviliged plonkers. As for that Al Fayed man, hes a fool. The only reason he keeps crying conspiracy is he doesnt like the fact the reason miss wonderful died was the drunk driver at the wheel going too fast was HIS employee. Prat.
Colleen says
I find the comments above quite low and distasteful.
If you’re not British and living in the UK and this is what you really think then bugger off back to where you came from because you don’t have to stay here if you think we’re all a bunch of ‘muppets’
properjob says
Ooooh, classic defensive Middle-England Colleen tells us to ‘bugger off back to where you came from’.
I am British, Colleen, and I do think the public who went seriously overboard after the death of their serial adulteress Princess are muppets. Pathetic muppets who think that if they somehow get ‘involved’ in a ‘sad’ event, then they are somehow a part of it.
And central to all of this is the specious notion that the royals are somehow ‘special’, and uniquely representative of everything that makes Great Britain great. Complete tosh. Going back only 150 years, the entire family’s roots are in Germany, yet we are SOOO proud they are SOOO British. Rubbish. Likewise, Queen Lizzie is emblematic of the greatness of the family, apparently, a symbol of the purity of family line — yet if her Uncle wasn’t a Nazi-sympathising ass who married yet another serial adulteress (and, heaven forbid, a divorcee!!), then HE, Edward, would have been King — and Lizzie would ‘only’ be enjoying a fat salary for living on the outer fringes of the List of hangers-on who milk their inbred links for every ££ they can scrounge off the taxpayers. These people are thickos who deserve zero respect — because they have never earned any.
jrtobe says
You are a muppet Colleen, but then again your probably taking the Mickey. Properjob do you pay tax ? As for our royals I’d shoot everyone of the ponces.
properjob says
Today, I see the Press is going ga-ga because one of them has graduated from Sandhurst.
I also learn that it takes a whole 44 weeks of training to turn a (usually upper class) git into an Officer.
It takes about 150 weeks to train a plumber or a carpenter. You work it out.
kITTY says
Go ttick your head in the sand somewhere. Princess Di was loved by many people because of her charitable work. Yes she had an eating problem, but you would too, if you knew your brand new husband (wore cuff links from his paramour on their honeymoon) was still messing around with his paramour. Also, you don’t even have the fact correctly. You wrote his article in 2006, and since the tickets don’t even go on sale until April 27, 2007; how could they have sold out in 30 minutes back then.
Try to get your fact straight. You know the old saying “If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything.”
Oh dear... says
Well this is just stupid. Once again the Americans have got it wrong. How about you have a bit of respect for the dead. Regardless of what you THINK you know about Princess Diana you should just leave it alone. You haven’t got a clue. Nobody has. Nobody knows what really went on. It hit some people harder than most because she was idolised by millions. Some people dont care about the royal family. So what, why have an opinion on them then? Keep it to yourself. How would you like it if your mother was killed in a horrific car crash and she was ostrisised all over the news, all over the world? That would be like someone saying “Ha ha ha! Your friends and family died in 9/11” And yes its exactly the same thing. A tragic personal issue that was spread all over the world and cause pain and heart ache for millons of people. But of course we must all bow down to the americans, because they’re so great. God bless America and all that.
Just leave it alone and have some respect. And I agree with what Kitty said. “if you can’t say something nice….
jodie says
Are you some kind of moron? Princess diana was more popular than the royal family she did so much work for charities etc etc at the same time her husband had an affair she had a hard time within the family! obviously you dont know the circumstances same with all of us… she was a worldwide icon and someone people felt close too even if they didnt know her! her sons are trying to put all the sadness behind them and do something good in the memory of there mother! which is fantastic plus all this money for the concert goes to charity so who the hell are you too slate it. you are the sick one if you ask me, get a head check you idiot and stop trying to get attention for yourself!!
Jock says
Coodnae gie a monkeys bout the royal scroungers,was more pisst when Michael Hutchence copped his whack no long after,
Wadey says
Sold out my axxx. They’ve been trying to give tickets away all week on every radio show I’ve heard. Mr B Ferry in sparkling jacket singing “slave to love” has driven me back upstairs and almost led me into the temptation known as Coronation Street but the thought of Craig Charles trying out as an actor stopped me in my tracks.
Lori says
I am really looking forward to the Dodi Al Fayed memorial! Tooooo funny!
Patti Coomber says
I just watched the Concert for Diana with my husband and found it to be one of the greatest tributes and celebration for the life of one of the most wonderful and fascinating women this world has ever known. I found it to be a most necessary and gentle reminder that the Princess opened up doors that no one before ever had the courage or brains to acknowledge, yet alone bring to such public awareness. I just ‘happened’ to come across this sick and twisted website in trying to find out the cost of the concert tickets, of which all proceeds are being delivered to many of her and her sons valuable charities. Are you unintelligent, ruthless and totally ignorant people for real? This little girl, who was plucked out of the ‘circle’ and chosen by her “Prince” only for the purpose of reproduction, grew into a remarkably wonderful woman, and yes, a true-to-life Princess who changed the world, just like Mother Therese, Nelson Mandela, Oprah, and many other powerful individuals that I hope you have all heard of. The Princess had more class, street-smart knowledge and human dignity and respect for ALL people in the world, and changed the whole meaning of human compassion, consideration and responsibility for those less fortunate, than ALL of you put together in one very small corner of this earth. She used her status, her charm and the tools available to her to open up worldwide awareness that not only touched the lives of ALL of us, but which left an imprint within the hearts of her children, who are now carrying on her remarkable work with various charities and organizations. You think the Monarchy is outdated, stuffy and ‘inbred’? Well, maybe it is, in your eyes, but without them, we would not be the wonderful country that we are today, we would be living under the rules of Hitler and his team of sickos and not be able to enjoy the freedom, the safety, and the pride of living in the best country in the world, Canada, protected, back in the early 1930’s by the British rule under the control of our Kingdom of the Royal Monarchy. To all of you who think this integral part of our heritage is useless and unneccesary, hopefully you will be up in the middle of the night visiting with the homeless, those dying individuals with Aids, the orphans of African poverty, or the leprosy stricken nomads with whom Princess Diana took personal pride in caring for and about, with children in tow. She had the power to pull it off, thanklessly by people like you, and she did it, often. Think about this while you are sitting out on your deck this holiday weekend with the BBQ simmering and the cold tank of beer just waiting to be cracked open. Without the Monarchy, you could be lined up at the corner store with your food stamps hoping to be lucky enough to get that last loaf of bread, under the strict laws of communism. Get a life. The Monarchy brings us all to the life of fairytales, yes, but gave us all a life and a good feeling knowing that there were and now are – as in Princes William and Harry, people of status who can keep all us poppers in line with a friendly reminder that there are many, many less fortunate than us that need people like them to remind us of others. If all of you took the time to do your part in society, instead of bashing such important and helpfull world figures, there would be less hatred, foolishness and downright rude websites like this to stumble upon. Wake up and smell the coffee. Get a life, and do something rather than criticize. Maybe one day any one of you could be homeless or lonely and wish that some very caring, loving and beautiful Princess would gracefully and kindly come knocking upon your door in the middle of the night, as she did, just to see how you were. Think about it, just for a minute, while you lift that chip off your shoullder. Happy Birthday Canada, and Diana, your work and your kindness and the love that you gave to the world WILL always be remembered, at least by me. Very sincerely, a Proud Canadian and loyal Monarchy follower, Patti Coomber
Mark C says
Well I accidentally turned that crap concert on, and who’s the screen but Puff Daddy or P Diddy or just Diddy or whatever the moron is calling himself these days. He’s doing a lame rap over “every breath you take,” a song about obsessed stalking WITH NO FUCKING SENSE OF IRONY WHATSOEVER. I mean, she died because of paparazzi stalkers, but apparently this retard is entirely to dense to get the connection. Oh well.
Billy Cook says
I agree with Sarah.
The concert was amazing and payed so much respect to her. Everyone paid good money for a reason and it was obviously to celebrate her life and what she did for all the charities. Prince Harry and William did such a good job.
Well done to them!
Diana will be missed forever!
Love Billy The Milkybar Kid.
pk says
You make me disgusted I’m an American with trash talk like that.
Here,s a question? What have you ever done that’s worth while
to help the human race? It will be very interesting to see you stand
in front of God Almighty when He asks you that same question,
And your response is ” I had a website God that bashed good doers.
Thats my contribution to mankind. Hummmm. I think you better pack
a lot of bermuda shorts its gonna be very warm where you’ll spend
eternity. Think about that in your quiet time, seriously!
Carolynn says
All the lovely Diana wanted was for Charles to love her as she loved him. Because he did’nt she poured her love into her charities and her family. She was a wonderful, fun Mum who worked very hard and refused to be as “cool” as the other Royals with their stiff uper lips. She was herself! I thought she was lovely, warm and kind.
It is sometimes the culture today- which it was not in my day- to speak like this man, very rudely and making ignorant personal remarks about people. There is no need to say anything. Keep your thoughts to yourself – we don’t want to know them! Your rude rantings are spiteful and -yes- the words of an ignorant, unintelligent person. An attention seeker!
The Queen has worked extremely hard for many years in a position which was her birthright and it has not always been easy for her. Imagine living your life always in the public eye and think what effects it must have.
The rest of the Royal Family have changed with the times as they are younger and they are lovely.
Royalty is necessary – that is why so many people entered “Britains Got Talent” for a chance to perform on The Royal Variety Performance – the ultimate accolade! I personally think all human beings are equals but you have to respect their position and what they do for this country – a wonderful country. Have some respect for others and their feelings. We all have feelings. Thankyou, Carolynn aged 60years.
Chris says
Umm, the concert was for her birthday, mate, not the anniversary of her death. She was born on July 1, 1961. She just had the misfortune to die a month or so later, in August. At least if you are going to rant about something, get yer facts straight, mate.
And yes, lots of the acts were complete and utter rubbish and she wouldn’t have liked them either. But the kids put it on and they invited people that they thought Mum might’ve enjoyed had she not been dead (in August, not July) as well as those performers she did like. And did George Michael almost have sex with her before or after he got arrested for homosexual activity in a California restroom? I didn’t think Diana was his type, being a girl and all. What nonsense.
I watched the concert (a bit of it), sniffled a little at the home movies at the end and then stumbled on this evil little site. Interesting how people fill their days with hate and think they’re oh, so bloody clever. It’s always been more fashionable to be evil and hateful than to do a good work or two. I also wonder, do you own a camera?
Chris says
Ooo, ooo, ooo – I just noticed “PROPERJOB” and some of his comments. I’m British too, slap ‘ead ! Yes the royals are a bunch of scroungers, not quite as demonic as you portray them – let’s face it we can’t any of us help what tossing family we’re born into, can we? Really I just wanted to point out to all here, since “Propa” made a point of it – if “Lizzy’s” father hadn’t become king when ED 8 abdicated the throne back in the day, Lizzy would still be queen today, because the serial adultress and divorcee that ED 8 married didn’t have any brats. We’d STILL have this lot to contend with because “Lizzy” would have inherited the throne when ED 8 died. All these curiously twisted factoids that aren’t really factual. I’m getting out of here.
Wadey says
What I cannot understand is why having executed Charles 1 and got rid of them we let them back. So we have ended up with a German Royal family and Germany doesn’t. How clever is that? To add insult to injury they are all stark raving mad and rude to boot.
dee says
i still say that her husband hade something to do with her death cuz he was cheating on her
Rosie says
you know what your not even worth arguing with