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Of Course You’d Like To See P. Diddy Jumping Over An Angry Bull

by Mof Gimmers

How smooth do you think you are? Seriously? Think you could slide under a door and woo a lady at the same time? Of course you couldn’t. You’re horrible. Disgusting too. Really, really very grim to look at. Not like wealthy rap-man and producer Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs. Or Puff Daddy. Or P. Diddy. Or Peddle [...]

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Hecklerspray On… Being A Loser

by Mof Gimmers

Winners. Who needs ‘em? Winners are the biggest pains in the rump, ever. They strut around with their winning medals, their certificates of achievement, their degrees, their neat handwriting and, most importantly, a complete absence on personality. See, if you’re the kind of person who devotes themselves to winning and excellence, then chances are, you’ve [...]

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5, 7, 3, 8 Reveal The Secrets Of The Lynx Effect

by Mof Gimmers

Lynx (or ‘aftershave substitute’) gets you the girls, right? There’s no point plodding around smelling of yourself. That’s never going to woo the opposite sex is it? And those scamps at Lynx have gone and made a funny advert which we can unlock the secrets of by pressing buttons. That’s right. If you hit 5,7,3 [...]

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Top 10 Angels

by Mof Gimmers

Angels. They’re funny things aren’t they? They live in heaven (which looks pretty boring) and have wings for no discernible reason. If you were God’s Army, surely you could fly without wings, right? Either way, they fly around and totally exist and play harp really well. Although, we’ve taken our eye off the ball. We [...]

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Hecklerspray On… Underwear

by Mof Gimmers

Ladies. When you’re feeling frisky, should the mood take you, you can impress the object of your affections by donning your nicest underwear. It even has a special, sexy sounding name – lingerie. There’s fancy bras, stockings, corsets, see-through nighties, peep-hole this, assless-that… it’s a cavalcade of things designed to let people know you’re in [...]

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Hecklerspray On… Small People

by Mof Gimmers

Small people are just weird aren’t they? What happened to them in the womb to make them so abjectly tiny? Could they simply not be bothered to ingest the nutrients their mother gave them? Randy Newman had it right when he sang: “Short people got no reason to live”, pointing out their “tiny little teeth” [...]

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Hecklerspray On Science

by Mof Gimmers

Science is a confusing beast. In the pro-column, it gave us the internet, space travel and video games… but in the con-column, it gave us bombs, animal-testing and sentient Glade air-fresheners. Sadly for science, for every likeable kook like Einstein, there’s a sanctimonious swine or a million tripping over themselves to bray like sarcastic mules [...]

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Do You Have Britain’s Sexiest Face? Ann Summers Wants To Judge You

by Mof Gimmers

Do you have a sexy face? Y’know, one of those faces that make people giddy rather than nauseous? Chances are, if you’re a hecklerspray regular, you’re revolting. Alas, you may have that in-built belief that youare beautiful, no matter what they say and words won’t bring you down. Rik Waller once quoted that line at [...]

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Win The Chance To Meet Snoop Dogg With Xbox And Ibiza Memories, Alright?

by Mof Gimmers

Are you the kind of person who wants to ditch your normally boring mates and hang around with some celebrities instead? Of course you are. That’s all anyone really wants. Celebrities have helicopters and diamond socks while your awful mates have overdrafts and microwave meals. If that’s the case then, you’ll be wanting to hang [...]

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Hecklerspray’s Stupid Celebrity Big Brother 2011 Liveblog

by Mof Gimmers

Click over for our stupid Celebrity Big Brother Liveblog! Keep hitting refresh because we’re idiots who can’t work things out! HURRAY! Things kick-off around 9pm when the hard liquor kicks in! Click over for our stupid Celebrity Big Brother Liveblog! Keep hitting refresh because we’re idiots who can’t work things out! HURRAY! Things kick-off around [...]

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