Winners. Who needs ’em? Winners are the biggest pains in the rump, ever. They strut around with their winning medals, their certificates of achievement, their degrees, their neat handwriting and, most importantly, a complete absence on personality.
See, if you’re the kind of person who devotes themselves to winning and excellence, then chances are, you’ve no friends.
That’s because everyone ultimately loves a loser. That’s because there’s more losers than there are winners. And yet, such importance is put on coming first, that the glorious last-placer has to define themselves by other things. Brilliant things.
Think about it. The jock that wins the trophy is celebrated in that last-minute cup final goal, that last ditch field goal, that desperate, lunging interception. They make the annals of some book of statistic and then, while all the losers in the bleachers leave the sporting arena to get drunk, that field of people who consistently won throughout their lives dust themselves off and start all over again.
That’s because the quest to win never stops.
However, the loser who is lousy at sports and doesn’t get the girl or boy, channels their loserdom into something else. Something marvellous. Just think about this for a second – the vast majority of great art created was about some loser not getting any action.
All the greatest music ever made was explicitly about people talking about their lusts and desires. That’s because they sucked. The sucked so bad that they couldn’t get the eye of the person they wanted. Those that could certainly didn’t have time to be creating art about it. They haven’t got time to be bored enough to create or haven’t got the wherewithal to take stock of that tumultuous, gut-wrenching feeling because they’re fending off suitors with a big stick.
And even when losers do find love, they spend their time mawkishly telling everyone about it because they can’t believe their luck!
That means, every great ballad, every great tale of love-lost, every great story of a yearning heart, was written by a miserable loser. A glorious, wonderful runner-up.
So forget the notion that you should chase first-place all the time. You shouldn’t. Leave that for the dullards with their gym-memberships and salaries.
A pessimist is never disappointed and no medal ever articulated the heart. Embrace your inner-loser.
This post was sponsored by Dos Equis. Lovely.
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JP! says
Good article, clever, and bravo for celebrating the “also-rans”
(in a far better way than the countless Hollywood “indie” nerd
films out there).
HOWEVER, remember you wrote this article for Hecklerspray, who for weeks
practically BEGGED their readers to vote for them in the Best Blog awards.
Hmmm…