Ever since Whitney Houston split up with him, Bobby Brown has been at a loss for things to do – Bobby Brown hasn't got anybody who'll let him punch them or fiddle around inside their bum with his fingers until he's found clumps of dried-up poo anymore.
So thank goodness for the Massachusetts police force, which has given Bobby Brown something to do with his time – namely spend a month in jail for not paying $19,000 in child support fees to his two daughters by Kim Ward. Luckily for Bobby Brown, previous stints in jail have hardened him to what he can expect over the course of the next month, and his poo-plucking skills will no doubt be in great demand, as will his ability to sing Candy Girl in a high-pitched voice with a modified toothbrush shiv pressed against his throat.
It's probably incredibly difficult being married to Whitney Houston – as well as her gigantic superstardom to contend with, there's also the debilitating crack addiction and the suspicion that Osama bin Laden is going to come and nick your wife at any second. That sort of pressure is never going to help a marriage, and so nobody was really all that surprised when Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston split up.
Neither party has done especially well since the split, though – especially financially. Whitney Houston almost lost her house and had to sell off loads of her old crap to pay off various debts, while Bobby Brown… well, Bobby Brown is in prison for not paying his child support like a good boy. Back in October Bobby Brown was hit with an arrest warrant and told that he'd be arrested if he ever set foot in Massachusetts – and this weekend Bobby Brown set foot in Massachusetts. BBC News reports the next thuddingly inevitable step:
Singer Bobby Brown has been sentenced to 30 days in jail over $19,000 (£9,670) in unpaid child support. Brown, who is in the process of a divorce from Whitney Houston, was arrested over the weekend while visiting his daughter in Massachusetts… The 38-year-old's representatives said they were working to collect the money. Brown's lawyer Phaedra Parks said: "Although this agreement was put in place when he was Bobby Brown the star, this agreement is being enforced when he is not always able to find work. He hasn't made an album in quite some years."
It shouldn't be too hard for Bobby Brown to find money, should it? After all, he has his millionaire wife to… ah, no – they've split up and she's in debt anyway. But Bobby Brown could also reform New Edition to… nope, nobody has wanted to see New Edition since Bobby Brown arsed up the last New Edition reunion. How's Bobby Brown going to make $19,000 suddenly appear? Let's hope Bobby Brown kept the dootie bubbles he yanked out of Whitney Houston's arse because – face it – if people want to spend a million dollars on Britney Spears' hair, then $19,000 for hunks of bone-dry Whitney shit is going to seem like a sodding bargain.
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Jester says
Let that be a lesson for any wife beating poo-tuggers – don’t go to Mass
Rumpus says
Tough poo-poo 4 Bobby…..I guess “being” Bobby IS tough poo!