Whitney Houston once sang that she was saving all her love for you. In retrospect it might have been a bit more frugal for Whitney Houston to have saved all her money for mortgage repayments instead, but hindsight's a bitch.
Because just as Whitney Houston was getting her life back in order after dumping the man who insisted on tugging out her constipated turds for her, quitting the hard drugs and evading the romantic advances of the world's most wanted terrorist leader, Whitney Houston has run into some new trouble. Namely, Whitney Houston is $1 million behind on her mortgage payments to her New Jersey mansion, and if she hasn't paid the debt by the beginning of next year it'll be auctioned off. Quick, someone sling out another hastily-repackaged Whitney Houston Greatest Hits album!
Pah – and we thought Whitney Houston was on the up and up again. For the most part we guess she is – let's compare and contrast the Whitney Houston from a few months ago with the Whitney Houston now.
Then: Reality TV star Whitney Houston had a debilitating crack addiction that reportedly caused her to crawl around her debris-filled bedroom ramming as many sex toys up her tumpsy as she could get her hands on while, thousands of miles away in a cave, Osama bin Laden spuffed one out while humming Didn't We Almost Have It All.
Now: Former reality TV star and brand new partial divorcee Whitney Houston now spends enough portions of the day away from the crack and dildos to turn up to events looking quite normal while, thousands of miles way, Osama bin Laden spuffs one out while humming It's Not Right But It's OK.
To the untrained observer, the absence of crack and Bobby Brown has turned Whitney Houston's life around 180 degrees. Now, you see, Whitney Houston can be a star and a proper recording artist again. Except for the small matter of the million dollars Whitney Houston owes in mortgage repayments on her New Jersey mansion, as E! Online reports:
The Morris County Daily Record reported Wednesday that part of the six-time Grammy winner's 10-acre New Jersey estate is going to be auctioned off Jan. 4 unless she comes up with $1 million in back mortgage payments and makes good with the local taxman. Gayl Spivak – the attorney representing Mortgage Electronic Registration Systems, the service agent acting on behalf of the bank Houston owes money to – told the Daily Record that she doesn't think the singer's house is going to end up in a sheriff's sale. "There are people interested," Spivak said.
It wouldn't be Whitney Houston's main home that would be auctioned off if she can't find the repayment money, but the smaller property on her estate which is valued at $889,300. However, if Whitney Houston needs some expert help with raising the money to stave off losing her home may we suggest that someone puts her in touch with Screech from Saved By The Bell. Screech, like Whitney Houston, also had a foreclosure order on his home and we're sure that he'd be only too happy to reveal his secrets to the troubled singer. And if we see Whitney Houston selling T-shirts, fighting with girls or wiping a shit-covered finger across the face of a repulsed naked woman that she's having sex with in the near future, then we know his work has been done.
Read more:
Whitney Houston's Land Grab - E! Online
