Remember when Bobby Brown was the coolest cat around? No? Oh, actually you're right – Bobby Brown has always been a bit of a tit – but, even for him, things appear to be falling apart fast at the moment.
The days when Bobby Brown would happily spend long winter evenings in yanking out handfuls of constipated shit from Whitney Houston's arse seem like light years ago now – it was yesterday declared that the second that Bobby Brown enters the state of Massachusetts, he'll be arrested for failing to stump up any kind of child support for his teenage children from an old relationship. That's terrible news for the Peabody, Mass New Edition Appreciation Society who are now probably looking for another guest speaker for their annual Halloween 'How To Be An Obnoxious Wanker' convention.
Times used to be good for Bobby Brown. He had his own "execrable" reality TV show Being Bobby Brown and he was happy to travel America escaping his crack addict wife Whitney Houston by ballsing up all kinds of New Edition reunions. But this kind of intense happiness can't last forever, and recently Bobby Brown's life started to go to pieces.
Bobby Brown's marriage to Whitney Houston was already under enormous scrutiny, and the divorce rumours, the constant rehab, the getting voted as the tackiest celebrity couple and the discovering that Osama bin Laden has a schoolboy crush on Whitney Houston all took their toll. Last month Whitney Houston filed for divorce from Bobby Brown – and if that wasn't bad enough, Bobby's been told that if he ever sets foot in Massachusetts again he'll be arrested, as E! Online reports:
It's the second warrant issued in Brown's name in just over a year stemming from his ongoing failure to pony up financial support for his two teenaged children, La Princia and Bobby Jr., with ex-girlfriend Kim Ward. The Being Bobby Brown star was due in Canton Family Court Monday morning for a hearing on why he hasn't allegedly made good on two months worth of back payments to Ward totaling $11,000.
But, since Bobby Brown didn't show up at court, Judge Paula Carey decided to throw an arrest warrant at him as punishment, saying:
"If he comes into the state of Massachusetts, he will be arrested. Whether or not he is going through a divorce does not negate the fact that he still owes child support relative to his two children that he had prior to his marriage."
Poor Bobby Brown; this means he'll have to strike Massachusetts from his 'places where I can go to find a woman who'll let me pull lumps of dried-up turd out of her arse with my fingers' list.
Read more:
Fleeing Bobby Brown – E! Online
[story by Stuart Heritage]