When people think Of Whitney Houston, people tend to think of the woman who single-handedly soundtracked X Factor, but she’s so much more than that. Whitney Houston and husband Bobby Brown have been named the tackiest couple in the world.
We’re fairly surprised that Whitney and Bobby are now officially the tackiest couple of the year. Why? Five words – Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
Whitney Houston (CDs) and Bobby Brown have been branded the tackiest
couple of 2005 by 35,000 readers of America’s Star magazine, and have
beaten such masters of tackiness as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Jude
Law and Sienna Miller and Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. So you’ll
now be able to appreciate the staggering level of tackiness we’re working at here.
But wait – isn’t Whitney Houston the wholesome all-American balladeer who
sings the songs that couples dance to at wedding receptions around the
world? And isn’t Bobby Brown that cheeky young scamp in charge of Candy
Girl? Not any more they’re not.
Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown made a fatal error this year: signing up for a reality TV series. Being Bobby Brown followed the couple around as Bobby tried manfully to prove that he wasn’t a violent thug and Whitney drifted around, seemingly confused by all the cameras pointing at her.
The highlight of the series for many was when – to prove how much he loved her – Bobby Brown described pulling shit out of Whitney Houston’s constipated arse with his own fingers. Needless to say, one critic called the show "the most disgusting and execrable series ever to ooze its way onto television."
The top 10 tackiest couples of the year, according to readers of Star magazine, are as follows:
1 – Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown (dootie bubble-loving reality TV stars)
2 – Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (couch-jumping, proposing, impregnating, sonograming nutbags)
3 – Britney Spears and Kevin Federline (baby-rearing, Pavarotti-hating, fighting reality TV stars)
4 – Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen (clock-wearing, naked reality TV stars)
5 – Jude Law and Sienna Miller (nanny-shagging, James Bond-shagging actors)
6 – Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson (homemade pornstars and reality TV stars)
7 – Ice-T and Coco (past-it rapper and, presumably, the Coco Pops chimp)
8 – Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler (OC star and another of Kimberley Stewart’s former fiances)
9 – Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis / Stavros Niarchos III (hey, two Greeks for the price of one reality TV stars)
10 – Star Jones Reynolds and Al Reynolds (if we were American, we’d probably know who these are)
[story by Stuart Heritage]