Osama, you son of a bitch!
From your musty, dank, grenade-riddled cave, you waved your bony hand and ended that which the world has held so precious for so long. You made known your affections and desires for Whitney Houston, and within the month she decides to up and leave Bobby Brown!
Osama, it may seem like you've won, but think about this – if you bone Whitney Houston, you'll be boning your way out of heaven. She's a Baptist, you know.
The internet is amok with rumours that Whitney Houston has gone and filed for a divorce from Bobby Brown. To most, the news is devastating, but Osama Bin Laden – of whom it recently came to light has been infatuated with Whitney Houston in the past – is giddy as a school boy. Our spies on the inside say he's giggly, clapping frequently, and cleaning off bed #12 in his disco-themed harem-lounge. Thing here is, the Bobby Brown/ Whitney Houston divorce isn't just a rumour, it's a fact. After months of speculation, one of their slaves Nancy Seltzer verified the divorce filing like this:
"I can just confirm that [Whitney] has filed for divorce."
The marriage between Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown – officially the tackiest couple of 2005 -lasted 14 years, 14 wonderful years. Their union is said by some to have indirectly caused the internet, the end of the first gulf war, and that Pogs craze that swept us all up. Now that the Houston/ Brown marriage is over, things are still being invented – which most experts agree is totally unexpected. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown have a 13-year-old daughter together, and an extensive crappy music collection. We've heard that crack addict Whitney Houston will get custody of the child in the divorce, and the courts will decide who gets what CDs.
Now that Whitney Houston's back on the market for a special someone to tug lumps of dry shit out of her constipated arse with their fingers, we'd just like to encourage her to not give in to temptation. Osama's gonna try to woo you like never before. He'll send you all sorts of nice stuff – flowers, poems, pictures of suicide bombers killing people outside a Virgin Records store when they walk out without buying your album, Gloria Estefan's severed head in a shoe box… you get the picture.
He's gonna make a convincing plea for your affections, Whits, but don't listen. He doesn't love you, he just loves the idea of you. He's seen you on-screen and he's heard your songs – it sparked an infatuation within him. It's not love Whitney – how can it be love if he doesn't even know you?
Plus he's a diabetic. You don't want to touch a diabetic, do you?
Read more:
Whitney to divorce amid tales of drugs and violence – Times
[story by Shawn Lindseth]
dean says
Was that sposed to be funny, well sorry it wasn’t!.
Hey I like whitney, don’t get me wrong, she was amazing, note the “was” but that was a bit silly. If she’s being a nob then that’s her perogative bobby. Personally i dont think she was. She’s an ex-junkie trying to get back on her feet, and you dissing her is a great example to all kid’s now, who through fate will end up junkies. Lets not help them, lets slag them off cos theyre easy money. Lets kick them when they are down and trying to get back up, what a tough man I am when i kick the junkie back down.
Be nice to see if you get famous enough for someone to kick you when your down and an adict, see you thinking “fuck it” jacking up again and trying to make a quick buck.
You need to mentally grow up. peace. lol.