Watch out Lindsay Lohan – Amy Winehouse has got her eyes set on your rehab record, and Amy Winehouse usually gets what Amy Winehouse wants; unless Amy Winehouse wants a decent haircut or a normal speaking voice, that is.
Because, before the ink has even dried on yesterday's reports that Amy Winehouse had left her £10,000-a-week rehab centre where she was undergoing treatment for heroin addiction, Amy Winehouse has gone back to rehab again. According to Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil, the pair of them only left the Causeway rehab facility situated on a private island off the coast of Essex because they wanted to briefly pop back to London to fetch a guitar. With that in mind, we can only imagine the disappointment that Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil must have felt when they realised that there weren't any guitars at all in the pub they spent most of their time out of rehab drinking in.
Call us naive, but we'd always assumed that rehab was a very American phenomenon, with everyone from Britney Spears to Lindsay Lohan to Robin Williams to Richie Sambora spending some time at rehab at the drop of a hat. That's not the British way, though – the British way is to either sort your problems out yourself or die young leaving an abominably dentally-mangled corpse. For the British, rehab is the last resort for either the hopelessly girly like Moon-o from Keane or the beyond help like Pete Doherty. We're not sure which of these categories Amy Winehouse falls into yet, but she sure doesn't look girly.
Amy Winehouse is having a hell of a fortnight by all means. Although it started off well enough, by being nominated for some MTV awards, Amy Winehouse's body couldn't cope with the standard MTV nominations celebration – going out and getting hammered on cocaine, heroin, ketamine, ecstasy and booze – and Amy Winehouse collapsed and got sent to hospital where she received a complimentary adrenaline shot and stomach pump. This incident made Amy Winehouse think that maybe drug overdoses weren't that fun after all, and the decision was reached that Amy Winehouse should go to rehab.
And Amy Winehouse's people were at pains to find the best rehab facility possible for her. They found it in the Causeway, a rehab centre on a 350-acre private island off the coast of Essex that seemed perfect – there'd be enough space and solitude for Amy to come to peace with her own troubles, plus at low tide you can drive to London in an hour. Perhaps in retrospect they should have picked a rehab that was further out to sea because, just five days into her treatment, Amy Winehouse left rehab and went to the pub.
But now, with a predictability you could set your watch by, Amy Winehouse has gone back to rehab with her pointless husband Blake Fielder-Civil. The Daily Mail reports:
Amy Winehouse was back into rehab today after she pulled out from performing at this weekend's V Festival. The singer, who has been in and out of treatment since she collapsed last week, has returned to the Causeway clinic in Essex, having spent 24 hours away… She returned to rehab as Fielder-Civil, 25, defended himself for the first time today against claims he was to blame for his wife's cocaine and heroin addiction. Fielder-Civil, who also uses heroin, claimed they had only left for London "to get a guitar" before going back. He said: "Everyone thinks that everything that's happened to Amy is my fault and I'm portrayed as the bad guy. But I love her so, so much."
Obviously it makes perfect sense for Amy Winehouse and her husband to ditch rehab so soon just to get drunk and pick up a guitar from their home. After all, so much of the £10,000-a-week that Amy's paying to cure her heroin addictions at the Causeway rehab centre is going towards essential treatment costs – like sitting her in a big house on a rock and making her talk to other rich drug addicts about being addicted to drugs – that there simply isn't the money free to, say, send someone out in a car to pick up the guitar, or buy Amy Winehouse a new guitar, or fly a rocket to the moon and carve Amy a new guitar out of moondust. £10,000 a week doesn't go far, you know.
Read more:
Amy's Back In Rehab And out of The Line-Up For V Festival – Daily Mail