HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Keane Singer In Boozy Coke Rehab

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Tom Chaplin Keane Singer Rehab Booze Drugs CocaineAnd there was us thinking that the only thing Keane singer Tom Chaplin was addicted to was pies and whiny piano ballads. Turns out he's fond of getting wasted on booze and cocaine, too.

Previously thought of as about as rock and roll as a nice sit down with a scone and a sudoku book, Keane have only shown flashes of rebellious behaviour once before, when one of them said they didn't like Oasis. And that was last year – a full eight years after everyone else had stopped liking Oasis. Hardly thrilling stuff. But earlier this year, Keane were forced to cancel shows in Edinburgh and Ibiza because moon-faced Keane singer Tom Chaplin was suffering from 'exhaustion'.

Now, exhaustion never actually means exhaustion – unless Tom Chaplin had actually exhausted himself by writing too many rubbish MOR songs and being all defensive about being called a tosser in interviews, there was always going to be something else going on. And there was – Tom Chaplin had secretly been lost in a spiral of alcohol and cocaine abuse, and has decided to bugger off to rehab to do something about it, as he told The Sun:

“I’ve admitted myself to The Priory to get the professional help I need to overcome my increasing problem with drink and drugs. I’m looking forward to sorting myself out and getting back to playing again as soon as possible."

Jesus Christ, so Keane sounded like a particularly dull women's institute meeting even when they were off their faces on booze and illegal drugs. We can't even begin to imagine how dreary the inevitable Keane 'cleaned up after rehab' album is going to be.

Read more:

Keane Singer battling booze and drug demons – Star Trip  

Comments

  1. Class says

    August 24, 2006 at 1:41 pm

    blaa blaa blaa

  2. 96dbFreak says

    August 29, 2006 at 12:36 am

    LOL. Even though I actually love Keane’s work, “can’t even begin to imagine how dreary the inevitable Keane ‘cleaned up after rehab’ album is going to be” is pretty funny.

    Cocaine eh? My favourite Keane song is one of their b-sides, ‘Snowed Under’. Now it has a WHOLE new meaning.

  3. Cathryn says

    May 15, 2007 at 6:54 pm

    Hold your tongue and learn not to be so opinionated. ‘Addicted to pies’, ‘moon-faced’, ‘too many rubbish MOR songs’ – real mature writing. And you know, not everyone has that opinion. I’m not the biggest Keane fan ever, but I know the difference between bias and non-bias learning, clearly something you need to learn. Give him a break, he’s just gone into rehab…if it was someone you knew, I think – no, I know – you’d take a much more sombre approach to it. Put yourself in the position of people close to him and give them a break too.

  4. david says

    January 17, 2009 at 9:09 am

    F-off stuart. If Keane is dreary, what the hell is your TVotR pic but a Radiohead wannabe with more ridiculous lyrics and shitty NYC rehash beats.

  5. DigiBear says

    February 5, 2009 at 6:27 am

    Hear Hear!

    It’s always SOOOO easy to criticize isn’t it?

    Wow, did anyone here actually agree with your mean spirited tirade? That’s pretty telling…

  6. Rae says

    June 29, 2009 at 6:54 am

    “We can’t even begin to imagine how dreary the inevitable Keane ‘cleaned up after rehab’ album is going to be.”

    So… what did you think of Perfect Symmetry? I’m quite curious, as I thought it to be anything but dreary… just wondering is all…

  7. Stephanie says

    September 28, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    Stuart…you’re a jackass!

  8. Paulie says

    December 16, 2010 at 5:44 am

    Stuart = worthless. Some people should just do something else with their lives. Stuart go design pizza boxes for a living.

  9. maddog says

    January 1, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    love it





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