10. Dappy from N Dubz is, astonishingly, the cover star of Total Carp. No. That’s not a typo. This is a magazine about fish and there’s a lovely, lovely shot of the singer holding a massive fish. – Blub
9. Thud.
8. Paul Daniels hospitalised by Sooty launching a pizza at him. This is actual news. – NotALot
7. Students! Sell your kidneys! – Debt