Queen Trash, Lindsay Lohan, has had her feet up at home while under arrest for sorta stealing a necklace. It really has been one of the most boring arrests in history. No prison memoirs, no rioting in the food hall, no violence, no drugs… just a weary unfurling of office admin and vague inconvenience.
This is underlined by the fact that everyone is so desperate to liven up this sorry tale that they’re just shouting words at her house and hoping that something sticks by magic.
The latest trick is to imply that Lohan is rattling around her house going slightly mad and drinking all day long to stave off the boredom like some jaded doley who is sick of daytime television and bored of all her video games. However, the truth is much duller than that.