Lindsay Lohan is great when she’s scraping her knees on the tarmac, fellating bottles of vinegary white white and blowing cocaine filled snot bubbles from her tear-ducts. We like her because she’s as trashy as we’d be, if we had her wealth.
However, after being chased constantly by the police and paps, it would appear that, regrettably, she’s cleaning her act up and becoming a massive bore.
But wait! She’s fallen over outside a bar you say? Did everyone sniff at her like circling dogs to see if there was a trace of alcohol whiff? DID WE?
Well, it appears everyone did have a sniff of LiLo and couldn’t really tell if she’d been on the pop or not because, well, all they could smell was the bar filled with booze behind her.
So what happened then?
Well, Lohan fell flat on her arse in full view of everyone and there was a collective shriek of excitement as all and sundry assumed that the good-time Lohan was back in town.
Disappointingly, she said:
“I was NOT drinking, nor do I drink!”
She doesn’t drink at all? Christ. She better not move to Britain or she’ll be treated like some kind of leper. So what was she doing on the floor then? Looking for drugs?
“I was with my brother, sister and friends. I was making a joke. They’re trying to make something out of nothing.”
“Just because I’m out doesn’t mean I’m drinking.”
If she doesn’t buck her ideas up, this could well be the last article we write about Lindsay and we don’t want that at all, mainly because we like to recall that amazingly tight dress she wore to court that time.
Oh well.
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