Posts tagged as:

The Dark Knight

More Batman 3: Eckhart Says Two-Face Is Dead Dead Dead

by Stuart Heritage

Judging by the ridiculous flurry of Batman 3 speculation lately, you’d be forgiven for thinking that every single human on Earth would a role in it.

But hold your horses, buster. Aaron Eckhart isn’t going to be in Batman 3. That might sound like common sense, seeing as how his character Two-Face stacked it to death off a building at the end of The Dark Knight, but apparently a handful of internet ninnies have decided that Two-Face didn’t die at all, and that both he and his silly voice will return for Batman 3.

And that’s why Aaron Eckhart has come forward to declare once and for all that Two-Face is definitely 100% dead. But don’t worry, disappointed Aaron Eckhart fans – he might not be returning for Batman 3, but copies of his 2007 Catherine Zeta Jones cookery-based romantic comedy No Reservations are still available to buy or rent on DVD. Yes, we thought that’d please you.

Judging by the ridiculous flurry of Batman 3 speculation lately, you'd be forgiven for thinking that every single human on Earth would a role in it. But hold your horses, buster. Aaron Eckhart isn't going to be in Batman 3. That might sound like common sense, seeing as how his character Two-Face stacked it to death off a building at the end of The Dark Knight, but apparently a handful of internet ninnies have decided that Two-Face didn't die at all, and that both he and his silly voice will return for Batman 3. And that's why Aaron Eckhart has come forward to declare once and for all that Two-Face is definitely 100% dead. But don't worry, disappointed Aaron Eckhart fans - he might not be returning for Batman 3, but copies of his 2007 Catherine Zeta Jones cookery-based romantic comedy No Reservations are still available to buy or rent on DVD. Yes, we thought that'd please you.
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Tom Cruise Causes Sleeper Puns to Take Over the Internet. We’re Not Happy.

by Ian Dransfield

Tom Cruise is continuing his run of trying to make people think he’s less of a massive mental, religious freak. First he stopped jumping around like a particularly stupid chimp, he stopped going on about Scientology in public – though he did see some of his private video collection released, much to the delight/terror (delete [...]

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Tropic Thunder Beats The Dark Knight Thanks to Blacked-up Retards

by Ian Dransfield

Well it certainly took long enough but The Dark Knight has finally fallen, to the might of Tropic Thunder and its wall of controversy. While we all thought we would have to live in a world where no other films would ever get anywhere near The Dark Knight – a world where daily recitals of [...]

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Batman 3 is Coming Out Soon! No, Wait – ‘Not’ Soon.

by Ian Dransfield

It looks like there’s going to be a fair wait until Batman 3 pops its fat head out for us all to see. The sequel to the Best Film Ever(tm) that has made more money than the GDP of many African nations combined, The Dark Knight, will get a sequel at some point. On one [...]

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Christian Bale Assault Charges Result in Ultimate Punishment. That, or Just a Caution

by Ian Dransfield

Christian Bale looks likely to get away with allegedly pushing his mum about, if he pleads guilty to assault. The Welshman, who no one seems to realise is Welsh, has been recommended to receive a caution by the Crown Prosecution Service for his alleged actions, should he plead guilty to charges next month. If, however, [...]

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Robert Downey Jr is Too Dumb to Understand The Dark Knight. His Words…

by Ian Dransfield

Robert Downey Jr was known for some things, then everyone forgot who he was, then they remembered again. And now that the people of the world once again recognise Robert Downey Jr in the street – and now that he’s likely off the smack and charlie – people are more likely to listen to him. [...]

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Heath Ledger’s Death Nothing to do With the DEA Anymore

by Ian Dransfield

The DEA investigation into the death of Heath Ledger has been closed with a great deal of secrecy, confusion and ‘embarrassment’ all round. Yes, it would seem that everyone involved in the investigation – which covered the whole of the US – can breathe a sigh of relief, as they will not have to present [...]

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Morgan Freeman Gets More (More) Bad News

by Ian Dransfield

Morgan Freeman has been struck by the evil curse of The Dark Knight yet again. So we may have been a little sceptical about the whole ‘curse’ thing ever since the term started getting bandied around, but on this evidence it’s hard not to think that maybe, just maybe there are nefarious forces at work. [...]

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The Dark Knight Makes Even More Money. Not That We’re Jealous or Anything…

by Ian Dransfield

The Dark Knight has only ruddy well gone and done it again. No, not struck down another member of the cast or crew with the ‘curse’, which is apparently floating around these days. The film has gone and broken the record for the fastest $400 million in box office history, making the money in a [...]

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Batman 3: Angelina Jolie Should Be Catwoman, Says Catwoman

by Stuart Heritage

The Dark Knight hype-tizzy is over, right? After the deaths and the arrests and the plaudits, that’s the end now, right?

Michael Caine hasn’t smacked a gypsy on the head with a shovel? Morgan Freeman hasn’t accidentally fallen down a lift shaft? Good, then that really is the end of interminable Dark Knight hype. So let’s start hyping up Batman 3 instead, then.

Although nobody knows for sure who the Batman 3 villain will be, Catwoman is emerging as a fan favourite, for some completely unknown reason. And Angelina Jolie seems to be the frontrunner to play her. That’s not just berserk internet lust talking – definitive 1960s Catwoman Julie Newmar seems to think she’d be a good fit, too. Still, if that falls through there’s always Kerry Katona. Or death. Let’s go with death.

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