Batman 3: Angelina Jolie Should Be Catwoman, Says Catwoman
Then buzz it up
July 28th, 2008 at 19:00 by Stuart Heritage
The Dark Knight hype-tizzy is over, right? After the deaths and the arrests and the plaudits, that’s the end now, right?
Michael Caine hasn’t smacked a gypsy on the head with a shovel? Morgan Freeman hasn’t accidentally fallen down a lift shaft? Good, then that really is the end of interminable Dark Knight hype. So let’s start hyping up Batman 3 instead, then.
Although nobody knows for sure who the Batman 3 villain will be, Catwoman is emerging as a fan favourite, for some completely unknown reason. And Angelina Jolie seems to be the frontrunner to play her. That’s not just berserk internet lust talking - definitive 1960s Catwoman Julie Newmar seems to think she’d be a good fit, too. Still, if that falls through there’s always Kerry Katona. Or death. Let’s go with death.
With The Dark Knight storming past all kinds of box office records at the moment, it’s become clear that topping it will be an insanely difficult job for Christopher Nolan. Surely the only way to make Batman 3 longer or more depressing than The Dark Knight would be to make it about a leukemia patient choking on his own vomit in slow motion for six solid hours.
So perhaps Christopher Nolan should try a different tack for the follow-up. Maybe he could make Batman 3 happier, by having The Joker return as an actual joker who dances round giving balloon animals to children and making everyone jolly. And there’s always the Bat-Nipples. Never forget the Bat-Nipples.
Of course, Christopher Nolan’s easiest escape route would be to shove Catwoman into Batman 3 and hope that there are enough creepy men around to go and see it for no other reason than because they’re perverts. After all, if people have been going crazy because The Dark Knight has giant IMAX footage of a bank robbery, imagine how crazy they’ll go if Batman 3 has giant IMAX footage of Catwoman’s vulva outlined through a rubber catsuit.
Yes yes, we know that there are reports suggesting that Catwoman won’t be in Batman 3, but we’re not so sure. Especially now that Angelina Jolie is reportedly interested in the role.
Julie Newmar - the greatest Catwoman ever according to everyone who isn’t an idiot - has come forward as saying that Angelina Jolie would be the best choice to play Catwoman in Batman 3, and she’s even gone as far as to suggest that Angelina is already lobbying for the part. According to the New York Daily News:
“Angelina would own the part. My industry friends tell me [she] has made inquiries about the role… I can understand how it would pique her interest. Catwoman is Batman’s one true love. She’s tremendously popular with women because she’s both a heroine and a villainess.”
That’s great. True, all we’ve got to go on is the blithely-spoken word of a 74-year-old who hasn’t been Catwoman for 40 years, but a little thing like that won’t stop us getting excited. Especially since Christopher Nolan’s fondness for real-life explanations for the Batman world would mean that Angelina Jolie would probably have to play a Catwoman with some kind of serious psychological condition. Mental illness is sexy!
However, we’re only prepared to accept Angelina Jolie as Catwoman in Batman 3 so long as our new hero, French police spokeswoman Olivia Poupot, can also be cast as Commissioner Gordon’s brilliantly dismissive European sidekick. She’s already fairly incredible at being bored by Angelina Jolie, you see.
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July 29th, 2008 at 1:27 am
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July 29th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
I’d LOVE to see catwoman in the next one!
NOT ANGELINA JOLIE THOUGH. She’s just not catwoman material. I say, put Jessica Biel or Megan Fox in it!
August 1st, 2008 at 9:10 am
Sorry Ljubav,But I agree with the article, Angelina Jolie would make a “Darn Good catwoman” and if the “Original Catwoman;I.E. Julie Newmar” says so, thats good enough for me.Angelina Jolie has the looks,the body and downright sex appeal to pull it off and as the article says “Angelina would own the part” and she’d make everyone forget about Halle Berry’s role in that Catwoman movie..Ugh!!!!(even though Halle berry is downright sexy also..;)),it just was’nt the right vehicle for Halle,thats all.
August 1st, 2008 at 11:07 am
cat woman? no way! the good movie will be fuked up and will become a childish movie just like in 80’s.this suposed to be a diferent revolutionary action movie not to become a superhero mixed soup.a woman dressed in leather? come on, don’t kill this best movie
August 1st, 2008 at 4:25 pm
No thanks! She’s already ruined so many movies. I’m tired of seeing her everywhere. Let’s bring on someone else. Anybody else!
August 3rd, 2008 at 7:16 pm
All this love for the catwoman in general and Jolie in specific is just a shallow cover for a bunch of fanBOYS - inauthentic fanboys at that - who want to get their rocks off watching a PG-13 movie. Note my use of the term “inauthentic”. Authentic fanboys (and girls) would want what’s best for the franchise. Having a chick with large breasts strut around in a leather costume might be great for their nightly rub sessions, but it’s hardly going to propel the Batman franchise toward future greatness.
August 4th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Jolie is seemingly perfect for the role with her naturally exotic appearance.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:34 am
I love Angelina, I think she is an amazing actress but I’m not sure she is quite right for the part of catwomen. I could definently see Kate Beckinsale as catwomen. Christian and Kate have already been in a movie together and they had great chemistry. The two of them are extremely sexy together.
August 10th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I think having catwoman in the movie will be good but I think someone more like kate beckinsale she would look much better in the suit and angelina jolie has an ugly face she has all those kids a she has a nasty body after squeezin al them kids out
August 12th, 2008 at 3:46 am
Charlize Theron will make a good catwoman. She did great as Aeon Flux, she wouldn’t be bad as the Catwoman.
August 12th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
well if they don’t put catwoman or some kind of female villain in it will be a total sausage fest and i think like tori says that kate bekinsale would also be a fine choice for catwoman or perhaps someone like Michelle rodriguez from resident evil someone with an edge they could use would be cool.
August 22nd, 2008 at 12:33 pm
brining catwoman would be nothing but spoiling the movie. They can think of watch maker as the next villan.
September 6th, 2008 at 12:00 am
Ladies & gentlemen, boys & girls, who here honestly thought Heath Ledger was gonna be as good as he was when we first found out that he’s been cast? hmm?
All I’m saying is he turned out to be the best Joker of all & the same might hold true for Angelina.
September 6th, 2008 at 12:02 am
as the Catwoman, that is.
September 7th, 2008 at 6:29 am
everyone keeps talking about catwoman what about the other women in the batman universe.
Lady Shiva
Harley Quinn
Poison Ivy(with work she could fit into nolans batman)
Talia al Ghul
Cyber Cat
Jane Doe
Lady Vic
Lynx
Madame Zodiac
Magpie
Mime
Nocturna
Pix(Also another one that with a little work would fit into nolans batman)
As you can see there are plenty of female characters for them to choose from besides catwoman. I mean yes catwoman is awesome but honestly I don’t want to see catwoman in the new series, i just don’t see how it would work, bruce/batman has lost the love of his life(rachel dawes) and I don’t see him rebounding and making out with a woman dressed like a cat. He’ll be to busy outrunning the cops, brooding, trying to keep Gotham safe and keeping up his life a bruce wayne.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Um you realize that there isn’t even a Batman 3 in the works right? Chistopher Nolan the director isn’t even sure if he wants to do a Batman because let;s be honest how triquels are good. Spiderman 3 (as much as it pains me to say it) sucked really bad. Shrek 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean major storyline disappointments. Angelina Jolie has shown no interest in the part (she probably doesn’t even know about this little rumor), and is only doing movies for the next year before retiring. “I’m ready to do films I’ve signed for, for the next year and then..just ready to fade away.” As for Catowoman is my alltime favorite Batman anti heroine, but she’s not going to make any appearances in this franchise. The writers have confirmed none of the villians (catwoman, penguin, poison ivy) will be in the new franchise because the studio wants new, used villians. As for the Joker, well you can not make a Batman series without him. It’s a crime against nature.
I’m sorry to say this rumor is just that. A rumor.