Posts tagged as:

suicide

Drake And Minaj Make Wettest Record Ever

by Mof Gimmers

Drake is one of the world’s most hyped rappers on the planet despite releasing lame song after lame song. And his latest album, Take Care, has been delayed, presumably because it’s so poor that it’s hiding under the stairs, surrounded by people trying to cajole it outside. As a teaser for just how lame it [...]

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Michael Jackson: “A Bit Of An Alien”

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson looked funny. It doesn’t matter if you love his music or happen to be a blinkered, crazed fan – there’s no hiding from the fact that his face was downright odd. So odd, it could curdle water. Ever seen anyone else with a nose like his? No. La Toya Jackson does not count [...]

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Conrad Murray Points At Dr Klein And Winks At The Jury In Michael Jackson Manslaughter Gubbins

by Mof Gimmers

Dr Conrad Murray is more than just a doctor. If the Michael Jackson manslaughter trail has taught us anything, it’s that Murray is quite the swordsman, with a troupe of dancing mistresses being paraded before the world. He should be pleased AND point out that they were all of legal and consenting age. Which brings [...]

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Nicki Minaj Once Considered Suicide, But Didn’t Do It, So Who Cares?

by Mof Gimmers

You. You’ve thought about dying. Of course you have. You’re a pathetic excuse for a human. Look at you. You’re an embarrassment compared to your friends with their careers, savings, mortgages and stupid pets. Of course, they’re worthless and resentful as well. They know people doing even better than they are. And this continues all [...]

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Black Eyed Peas Now Running Away From Michael Jackson Tribute As Fast As Their Little Legs Will Go

by Mof Gimmers

Haw, poor Michael Forever. The beleaguered tribute show to Michael Jackson is about as useful as a teapot made from Rizla. Basically, half the family hate it, the other half performing at it, joined by a cast of also-rans and nobodies. And now, someone you will have heard of – the Black Eyed Peas – [...]

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Michael Jackson Set To Release The Ironically Titled “Immortal” Album

by Matthew Laidlow

They are lots of words to describe Michael Jackson. Depending on your relationship with him, then your opinion will certainly differ. Joe Jackson loved Michael with all his heart and whipping belt due to the money he raked in and owners of tacky shops loved his credit card. Fans who met Michael were touched in [...]

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Michael Jackson Trial: Now Starring The Incredible Hulk, A Mistress And Proof Of Murder

by Mof Gimmers

Even in death, Michael Jackson’s attracts a carnival of freaks and oddballs, all wanting to chirrup about how wonderful/damaged/dead the former King Of Pop is. And this week, things have gotten really super. How super? The Incredible Hulk super, that’s how much! For some reason, former Hulk Lou Ferrigno is getting involved in the Moonwalking [...]

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La Toya Jackson To Perform At Michael Tribute, Despite Immense Crassness

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson’s Misery Concert Of Cash Cowdery And Crassery (or: Michael Forever Tribute) is going ahead next weekend in Cardiff, despite the fact that absolutely no-one from Michael’s family wants it to go ahead, for fear of distracting everyone from the trial of Dr Conrad Murray. Wait. What’s that? Sorry, nearly everyone in the Jackson [...]

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Michael Jackson Concert Now Contains Fearne Cotton – It’s What He Would Have Wanted

by Matthew Laidlow

Over in America, Dr. Conrad Murray is being accused of administrating some mental sounding drugs into Michael Jackson and causing him to carry out his last boogie. However, it isn’t just the remaining members of the Jacksons that he has to prove his innocence to. The singer’s children also want answers and then, we have [...]

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Conrad Murray Phoned For Cocktails While Michael Jackson Died?

by Mof Gimmers

As a doctor, presumably you know when a human is a lost cause. That’s why Dignitas exists, right? And so, if the rumours that Michael Jackson was knocking back Propofol like milk, he probably thought ‘sod it’. And who can blame him? During the Moonwalking for Justice trial, it seems that MJ was dying in [...]

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