Haw, poor Michael Forever. The beleaguered tribute show to Michael Jackson is about as useful as a teapot made from Rizla. Basically, half the family hate it, the other half performing at it, joined by a cast of also-rans and nobodies.
And now, someone you will have heard of – the Black Eyed Peas – have cancelled their scheduled appearance at this weekend’s concert at Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium due to “unavoidable circumstances”.
Those ‘circumstances’ seem to be a realisation that this is going to be the worst gig in the history of performing arts. Yes, that includes BEP’s Super Bowl halftime show.
One of the biggest names on the bill in Smokey Robinson who, in fairness, is a bona fide genius… but alas, anyone who saw him at the Electric Proms will know that, thanks to the miracle of surgery, Robinson now looks like he’s permanently got a pair of tights over his face.
That wonderful voice is now not enough to stop children from cowering in his presence.
Chris Hunt, chief executive officer of Global Live Events, isn’t phased though. He says:
“It is with regret that we announce the removal of Black Eyed Peas from the Michael Forever bill, but I look forward to a great night with other earth shattering artists.”
Earth shattering you say? Who might that be?
Well, hosted by the hate-inducing Fearne Cotton, revellers will be able to gawp at Marlon, Tito, Jackie and LaToya all looking like lost toddlers on a big stage, while Cee Lo Green, Leona Lewis, Alien Ant Farm, 3T and JLS will roll up and do their best to keep a straight face while talking about Michael Jackson’s cadaver.
Sadly, Kiss have been removed after everyone remembered that Gene Simmons said:
“Well, you know, where there's smoke there’s fire. There’s no question in my mind he molested those kids. Not a doubt.”
Oh well.
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