Being involved in a marriage primarily because it furthers you as a brand and gives you more shitcake anecdotes to fill your endless mind-numbing autobiographies with must be quite hard.

So it's no surprise that Jordan got smashed on drugs not so long ago and wound up contemplating suicide.

But here's the thing - although she's admitted drug use, Jordan won't say what drug she took. But she has ruled out cocaine, which means that Jordan wanted to kill herself after a binge on either heroin, prescription pills, non-prescription pills or Fisherman's Friends. And when was the last time you saw Jordan with a cold, huh?

Britney Spears has just been sectioned after apparently trying to kill herself.

In scenes eerily reminiscent of the last time she was carted off to hospital after a meltdown, ambulances, helicopters and police cars all recently descended onto the home of Britney Spears to keep her detained in hospital for at least 72 hours.

Even for