Articles tagged with: Sued
Gary Coleman Charged With Being A Tiny Angry Man
You'd pay $20 for a photo of Gary Coleman. For the pleasure of looking at a dishevelled grump-faced 40-year-old midget for the rest of your life, you'd pay $20. No really, you will pay $20. Don't think you can go snapping pictures of Gary Coleman on your phone without paying $20 first. Do that and you'll get beaten up by Gary Coleman and Gary Coleman's wife, and get your phone stolen, and then get knocked to the ground by Gary Coleman's truck. Allegedly. Alternatively, do do that. That's apparently what happened to Colt Rushton earlier this month and, as well as making sure that Gary Coleman has been charged with reckless driving and disorderly conduct for it, he's also hit Coleman with a lawsuit. This has to make today the worst day for Gary Coleman since, dunno, yesterday? He doesn't exactly look as if his days are filled with sunshine and monkeys, does he?
You'd pay $20 for a photo of Gary Coleman. For the pleasure of looking at a dishevelled grump-faced 40-year-old midget for the rest of your life, you'd pay $20. No really, you will pay $20. Don't think you can go snapping pictures of Gary Coleman on your phone without paying $20 first. Do that and you'll get beaten up by Gary Coleman and Gary Coleman's wife, and get your phone stolen, and then get knocked to the ground by Gary Coleman's truck. Allegedly. Alternatively, do do that. That's apparently what happened to Colt Rushton earlier this month and, as well as making sure that Gary Coleman has been charged with reckless driving and disorderly conduct for it, he's also hit Coleman with a lawsuit. This has to make today the worst day for Gary Coleman since, dunno, yesterday? He doesn't exactly look as if his days are filled with sunshine and monkeys, does he?
Disturbia Sued For Copying Rear Window, Not For Being Dreck
Original ideas are thin on the ground in Hollywood because, as everyone knows, we're all idiots and new ideas turn us into terrified cavemen. That's why most of the films released these days are either remakes, adaptations, sequels or big honking primary-coloured idiot trumpets starring Adam Sandler called Duh: My Is Yes LOL. But at least we can all say that the Shia LaBeouf movie Disturbia is completely original and pioneering and one of a kind. Even though it's sort of identical to Rear Window. That's something the estate of the man who owns the rights to Rear Window seem to have just figured out, because they're suing Disturbia producer Steven Spielberg over all the similarities to their story. But it's obvious that Disturbia and Rear Window are completely different movies - Rear Window didn't want to make us punch ourselves unconscious, for example.
Original ideas are thin on the ground in Hollywood because, as everyone knows, we're all idiots and new ideas turn us into terrified cavemen. That's why most of the films released these days are either remakes, adaptations, sequels or big honking primary-coloured idiot trumpets starring Adam Sandler called Duh: My Is Yes LOL. But at least we can all say that the Shia LaBeouf movie Disturbia is completely original and pioneering and one of a kind. Even though it's sort of identical to Rear Window. That's something the estate of the man who owns the rights to Rear Window seem to have just figured out, because they're suing Disturbia producer Steven Spielberg over all the similarities to their story. But it's obvious that Disturbia and Rear Window are completely different movies - Rear Window didn't want to make us punch ourselves unconscious, for example.
Jennifer Lopez Sued Over Alleged Doggy Chomp Attack
Reason why Jennifer Lopez is better than you: She gets to take dogs onto planes, but you can't even take a medium-sized bottle of Timotei. Don't worry about it too much though, because taking dogs onto planes has its downsides - like, for instance, when the dog goes berserk and bites a flight attendant and she falls over and hurts her back and can't work and sues you for $5 million. That's what a flight attendant is claiming happened when Jennifer Lopez took her German Shepherd on a flight, anyway. The lawsuit hasn't gone through yet, so we don't know if this savage dog attack really happened or not. But if it did, good for Jennifer Lopez. $5 million is a small sum to pay so long as it reminds the flight attendants of the world that when Jennifer Lopez wants her complimentary peanuts, she jolly well wants them now.
Reason why Jennifer Lopez is better than you: She gets to take dogs onto planes, but you can't even take a medium-sized bottle of Timotei. Don't worry about it too much though, because taking dogs onto planes has its downsides - like, for instance, when the dog goes berserk and bites a flight attendant and she falls over and hurts her back and can't work and sues you for $5 million. That's what a flight attendant is claiming happened when Jennifer Lopez took her German Shepherd on a flight, anyway. The lawsuit hasn't gone through yet, so we don't know if this savage dog attack really happened or not. But if it did, good for Jennifer Lopez. $5 million is a small sum to pay so long as it reminds the flight attendants of the world that when Jennifer Lopez wants her complimentary peanuts, she jolly well wants them now.
Tremendous Lawsuit Levied Against Kate Hudson’s Shampoo
Does anybody else remember when Kate Hudson’s hair was nominated for an Oscar back in 2001. There’s reason for that you know. It’s been enrolled in acting classes since the age of four. It’s done stage work since the age of 12, and sometime in the sixties it got its big break playing the part of Charlton Heston’s beard in that Moses movie. We believe that the hair is actually what the Israelites volunteered to follow – it emoted smoke by day and fire by night. We know this because we’ve seen the original script. It’s quite tattered. Normally Kate Hudson’s hair earns her nothing but accolades and free head-strokings everywhere she goes. Now though – it’s kind of gotten her into a pretty big lawsuit.
Does anybody else remember when Kate Hudson’s hair was nominated for an Oscar back in 2001. There’s reason for that you know. It’s been enrolled in acting classes since the age of four. It’s done stage work since the age of 12, and sometime in the sixties it got its big break playing the part of Charlton Heston’s beard in that Moses movie. We believe that the hair is actually what the Israelites volunteered to follow – it emoted smoke by day and fire by night. We know this because we’ve seen the original script. It’s quite tattered. Normally Kate Hudson’s hair earns her nothing but accolades and free head-strokings everywhere she goes. Now though – it’s kind of gotten her into a pretty big lawsuit.
Jared Leto Not Leto-ff With $30 Million Claim by Virgin
30 Seconds to Mars and their glorious leader Jared Leto had better check the back of their sofas for loose change. They may have to resort to begging, borrowing or even stealing to get through this one - being sued by Virgin Records for $30 million isn't the kind of thing you can get by simply by using the cash you carry in your wallet. Maybe they could sell their instruments and equipment - though this would of course mean they can no longer play as a band... So in other words, it would be win-win. But why such a huge amount? Well, according to Virgin, Jared Leto and 30 Seconds to Mars were contracted to provide three albums, but didn't. Apparently this is worth that much money to the company, so they've gone and sued that movie star from the band to get what they think is rightfully theirs. $30 million though? Crikey.
30 Seconds to Mars and their glorious leader Jared Leto had better check the back of their sofas for loose change. They may have to resort to begging, borrowing or even stealing to get through this one - being sued by Virgin Records for $30 million isn't the kind of thing you can get by simply by using the cash you carry in your wallet. Maybe they could sell their instruments and equipment - though this would of course mean they can no longer play as a band... So in other words, it would be win-win. But why such a huge amount? Well, according to Virgin, Jared Leto and 30 Seconds to Mars were contracted to provide three albums, but didn't. Apparently this is worth that much money to the company, so they've gone and sued that movie star from the band to get what they think is rightfully theirs. $30 million though? Crikey.
Paris Hilton Sued For Not Being an Attention-Grabbing Twit
Wait - so that's Paris Hilton we're talking about? The one that would sell her own mother if it meant she got an extra five seconds in the public eye? But she's getting sued for not promoting a film she was in? Well - stranger things have happened. There is also the chance that this is the first time in her life that Paris Hilton has done something that made sense, with the film in question being National Lampoon's Pledge This!. Why anyone in their right mind would bother having anything to do with what is an utter pile of pump we do not know, and when someone who doesn't come across as if she's in any kind of right mind knows to keep away from it then, well - you know something just isn't right.
Wait - so that's Paris Hilton we're talking about? The one that would sell her own mother if it meant she got an extra five seconds in the public eye? But she's getting sued for not promoting a film she was in? Well - stranger things have happened. There is also the chance that this is the first time in her life that Paris Hilton has done something that made sense, with the film in question being National Lampoon's Pledge This!. Why anyone in their right mind would bother having anything to do with what is an utter pile of pump we do not know, and when someone who doesn't come across as if she's in any kind of right mind knows to keep away from it then, well - you know something just isn't right.
Over 1,000 Chinese Folk To Sue Sharon Stone For A Literal Billion Dollars
It wasn’t so long ago that Sharon Stone offended all of China by saying each and everyone of them looked delicious, or something, and would no doubt be scrumptious when mashed down into a cracker-topping paste. She then drew up blueprints for a restaurant that would use this as its niche. We told her this was a foolish concept, as nobody would come to a restaurant that only served crackers with mashed Chinamen on them. She said we misunderstood, and that she would use a wide variety of crackers to offer her patrons several palatable options. And that was the line she used to sell us 20% of her stock. If all goes well, we’ll be able to retire several months ahead of schedule. We actually can’t remember if any of that was true or not. What is true though is that 1,000 Chinese people are on the verge of sueing Stone for one billion dollars worth of stir fried beef and broccoli for her ‘Karma’ comment a while back. Or did they just want a billion in cold, hard cash? We're pretty sure it was the latter.
It wasn’t so long ago that Sharon Stone offended all of China by saying each and everyone of them looked delicious, or something, and would no doubt be scrumptious when mashed down into a cracker-topping paste. She then drew up blueprints for a restaurant that would use this as its niche. We told her this was a foolish concept, as nobody would come to a restaurant that only served crackers with mashed Chinamen on them. She said we misunderstood, and that she would use a wide variety of crackers to offer her patrons several palatable options. And that was the line she used to sell us 20% of her stock. If all goes well, we’ll be able to retire several months ahead of schedule. We actually can’t remember if any of that was true or not. What is true though is that 1,000 Chinese people are on the verge of sueing Stone for one billion dollars worth of stir fried beef and broccoli for her ‘Karma’ comment a while back. Or did they just want a billion in cold, hard cash? We're pretty sure it was the latter.
Ozzy Osbourne Wins Cash For Not Falling Over At The Brits
We'd always figured that Ozzy Osbourne was pretty libel-proof, because whatever you accuse him of, chances are he's already done it. Snorting a line of ants? Check. Chewing the heads off animals? Check. Urinating on the Alamo? Check. Getting hammered and trying to murder his wife? Check. Falling over a couple of times before the Brit Awards earlier this year? No way! Ugh! You sick bastard! Suggest that and Ozzy Osbourne will sue your tits off. And win, too - Ozzy Osbourne has won undisclosed damages from the Daily Star after it claimed that Ozzy had a health scare right before the Brit Awards that almost saw him get withdrawn from the show. Turns out, though, that he was such a shaky and incoherent mess during the Brit Awards because he's Ozzy Osbourne. Sheesh.
We'd always figured that Ozzy Osbourne was pretty libel-proof, because whatever you accuse him of, chances are he's already done it. Snorting a line of ants? Check. Chewing the heads off animals? Check. Urinating on the Alamo? Check. Getting hammered and trying to murder his wife? Check. Falling over a couple of times before the Brit Awards earlier this year? No way! Ugh! You sick bastard! Suggest that and Ozzy Osbourne will sue your tits off. And win, too - Ozzy Osbourne has won undisclosed damages from the Daily Star after it claimed that Ozzy had a health scare right before the Brit Awards that almost saw him get withdrawn from the show. Turns out, though, that he was such a shaky and incoherent mess during the Brit Awards because he's Ozzy Osbourne. Sheesh.
