Now you might think that the above statement is a bit odd. And you would be fully justified in thinking that. It is an odd idea for a list and we blame editor and general sick puppy Stuart Heritage for even coming up with the idea in the first place.

But what you need to understand is this is not just some stupid list of drawings designed to spark titillation, nostalgia and debate. No, this is far more important than that.
It stands to reason that if you are going to draw a woman, you might as well make her the hottest thing you possibly can. So therefore, to think of this as just another stupid list would be wrong. This is a social commentary on how men’s tastes in women have changed over the years, or something.

Now, judging by the fact that even cavemen drawings of women involved huge breasts, it’s fair to say that men’s thinking has not changed all that much.

But you would be very wrong. In fact, judging by this list, some men also want their women to have unfeasibly large heads, one big eye and yellow skin. But who are we to judge?

Anyway, just so you know, we have tried to stay clear of Anime and characters in adverts, so no Babycham deer and the Cadbury’s bunny (cheap hussies), before you ask. Sit back and enjoy.

26. Tinkerbell
Cartoon: Peter Pan

Just look at the wings on her.

25. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn
Cartoon: Batman: The Animated Series

OK, we admit it, we are cheating by putting these two together, but don’t they look cute together? Batman watch out.

24. Storm
Cartoon: X-Men

Now that’s what I call a weather girl.

23. Esmeralda
Cartoon: Hunchback of Notre Dame

You have to love her gypsy charms.

22. Lois Griffin
Cartoon: Family Guy

OK, we know this is a bit of an odd choice, but as her husband puts it, she’s a “a foul venereal disease-carrying, street-walking whore”.

21. April O’Neil
Cartoon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Gotta love that yellow jump suit.

20. Cartman’s mum
Cartoon: South Park

OK, she may not much to look at, but she is one dirty mother.

19. Turanga Leela
Cartoon: Futurama

OK, so she has one eye. Everything else looks normal.

18. Aeon Flux
Cartoon: Aeon Flux

Love that outfit.

17. Mary Jane Watson
Cartoon: Spider-Man

You have to say, toothless Kirsten Dunst never did her credit.

16. Selena Kyle/ Catwoman
Cartoon: Batman The Animated Series

Meow.

15. Princess Jasmine
Cartoon: Aladdin

Forget the fact she is in a Disney film, those eyes tell a different story.

14. Pocahontas
Cartoon: Pocahontas

One of Disney’s sexiest-ever characters.

13. Jem
Cartoon: Jem and the Holograms

They’re like The Bangles – only more than one of them is attractive. Bonus!

12. Ariel
Cartoon: The Little Mermaid

She’s certainly cute, but lack of lady parts is a problem. No fishy jokes please.

11. Betty Boop
Cartoon: Betty Boop

One of the oldest, but still one of the best.

10. Black Cat
Cartoon: Spider-Man

OK, no pussy jokes either.

9. The Baroness
Cartoon: GI Joe

Sienna Miller will not do her credit.

8. Penelope Pitstop
Cartoon: Wacky Races; The Perils of Penelope Pitstop

OK, so you have to lose the dwarfs, but it would be worth it.

7. Smurfette
Cartoon: The Smurfs

So did Smurfs actually have genitals? Because if they did, Smurfette, being the only blue girl in town, must have a got a lot of attention. Or was she just a ladyboy?

6. Cheetara
Cartoon: Thundercats

She’s just purr-fect.

5. Evil-Lyn
Cartoon: He-Man

Everyone likes a bad girl.

4. Marge Simpson
Cartoon: The Simpsons

Being stuck with Homer for so long, you know she has no standards at all.

3. Daphne
Cartoon: Scooby Doo

If ever there you wondered if Fred was gay or not, just consider the fact he wore a cravat and never tried to hit on the sexy redhead.

2. Betty Rubble
Cartoon: The Flintstones

How could they possibly have cast Rosie O’Donnell?

1. Jessica Rabbit
Cartoon: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

A clear winner. Roger Rabbit is one lucky rabbit.

A bunch of pixels they may be – but, let’s face it, for some men, it’s the closest they’ll ever get to playing around with a real woman.

Now, we know what you are thinking – that’s a pretty messed-up list. How could a video game character be sexy? Why not focus on real women instead? And you would be totally right. In fact, we are hanging our heads in shame as we speak.
But wait! When have we ever cared what people thought of us? Besides, we are warming to the idea of a woman with big breasts who does whatever you tell her to do. Not really… so confused.

Of course, scientists confidently predict that due to the fact that the women in video games are becoming more and more realistic there is soon going to be a huge demand for another port. Now that’s messed-up.

Tests have also proved that Lara Croft – the video game character – has double Jessica Simpson’s IQ. Not that intelligence was really that high on the reasons we find Jessica Simpson attractive. Of course, we are just joking – about the new port thing at least. Anyway, sit back, enjoy and check out the pixels!

28. Konoko
Game: Oni

27. Rei Kurosawa
Game: Fatal Frame 3


26. Alyx Vance
Game: Half-Life 2

25. Alexandra Roivas
Game: Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem

24. Cammy
Game: Street Fighter

23. Hana Vachel
Game: Fear Effect

22. Princess Peach
Game: Mario

21. Chun Li
Game: Street Fighter

20. Meryl Silverburgh
Game: Metal Gear Solid

19. Jill Valentine
Game: Resident Evil

18. Orchid
Game: Killer Instinct


17. Jade
Game: Beyond Good & Evil


16. Morrigan Aensland
Game: Darkstalkers

15. Rynn
Game: Drakan: Order of the Flame

14. Sophitia Alexandra
Game: Soul Caliber Series

13. Firiona Vie
Game: EverQuest


12. Mai Shiranui
Game: Fatal Fury/King of Fighters series

11. Samus Aran
Game: Metroid

10. Aya Brea
Game: Parasite Eve

9. The Girls of Dead or Alive
Game: The Dead or Alive series

8. Rayne
Game: Blood Rayne 1 and 2

7. Elexis Sinclaire
Game: Sin

6. Kaileena
Game: Prince of Persia 2 and 3

5. Rachel
Game: Ninja Gaiden 2

4. Ivy
Game: Soul Caliber

3. Ada Wong
Game: Resident Evil 4

2. Joanna
Game: Perfect Dark

1. Lara Croft
Game: Tomb Raider series

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But if you are going to told bad news, wouldn’t you want a sexy woman to be the one to do it? Unless it’s a rejection – but that’s a whole other story.

Anyway, in the latest excuse hecklerspray has come up with to get paid for looking at pictures and videos of sexy girls, we have decided to focus on newsreaders, reporters and newscasters. As we mentioned before, using attractive newscasters to tell bad news is a great way to soften the blow. In fact, it’s a scientific fact.

People dying of hunger in the world? That’s terrible, but, on the positive, she really does have a great rack. Or something like that. Enjoy.

25. Hayley McQueen

MUTV anchor Haley McQueen is so sexy she even makes us like Manchester United. Yeah, right, only joking. How could she possibly have come from the loins of vinegar-faced Gordon McQueen? How is that possible? Her mum must be really fit.

24. Page Hopkins

We’d all like to turn that Page.

23. Leann Tweeden

OK, so Tweeden is more of a TV presenter, but she has reported for Fox Sports. She’s also posed in Playboy and is a former Hooters girl. So who cares?

22. Lisa Guerrero

The Los Angeles Times once said that Guerrero is the hardest working sports reporter and she was also named one of the 100 most influential Hispanics in America by Hispanic Business Journal. Did we also mention she posed naked for Playboy?

21. Lauren Sanchez

An Emmy award winner, Lauren currently anchors the My13 News and That’s So Hollywood on KTTV Fox-11 in Los Angeles. She’s even appeared in a few films, such as The Dark Knight.

20: Emma Crosby

Posh girl Crosby, who is the business reporter for Sky, certainly has a head for figures. Great figure, shame she can’t pronounce the names of websites very well…

19. Lisa Burke

Sky girl Lisa is a weather girl sure to brighten up your day.

18. Mitali Mukherjee

We all like a nice, red hot Indian. And CNBC anchor Mitali is a hotter than most..

17.Jennifer Eccleston

According to Wikipedia, CNN reporter Eccleston ’spent two weeks embedded with the US Marines’ in Iraq. Can’t really add to that. Dubbed Miss Shock and Awe.

16. Millie Clode

Sky Sports presenter Millie is real favourite at Hecklerspray Towers.

15. Betty Nguyen

The CNN anchor had intended to become a lawyer, before changing her mind and taking a degree in broadcast journalism. It’s fair to say we are grateful for that decision.

14. Kirsty Gallagher

The daughter of former Ryder Cup captain Bernard Gallagher may have left Sky Sports now, but she won’t be forgotten in a hurry.

13. Robin Meade

CNN anchor Meade is a former Miss Ohio and a top 10 finalist in Miss America. So she’s pretty hot.

12. April Torres

All news should be presented like this.

10. Sharon Tay

Emmy award-winning journalist Tay still looks amazing at 41.

9. Jackie Guerrido

There are two very good reasons Jackie, a weather girl for Wake Up America, deserves to be in the top 10. Can you guess?

8. Shanon Cook

An Aussie CNN reporter we would all like to know a bit better Down Under.

7. Erica Hill

After watching this video we think we’d all like to know the CNN anchor a little better.

6. Georgie Thompson

Georgie is the hottest of the Sky Sports girls – and that is some feat. The dirtiest voice in news.

5. Elita Loresca

Was voted America’s Sexiest Newscaster in an online vote by readers of FHM magazine back in 2006. And two years later, she’s still very hot.

4. Laura Esposto

The one and only reason to watch Channel 5 in the UK.

3. Julie Banderas

Don’t you just love watching the Fox anchor get angry? Worth watching until the end.

2. Eva Kaili

All Greek to us, but there is no doubt Eva, who is a huge celebrity in her homeland, is one hot babe.

1. Melissa Theuriau

We have not a got a clue what she is saying, but who cares? We can’t stop watching this video.

It’s true. In the Decades family, the 1980s is like the brash middle brother no one talks to at functions because he’s obsessed with money, carries a phone the size of a house brick and has a really bad perm. Well, hecklerspray is not standing for it any more. We’re loud and proud. We are children of the Eighties and we’re not ashamed to say it.

And to prove it wasn’t all New Romantics, Rubik’s Cubes and yuppies, we’ve compiled 14 reasons why the 1980s kicked ass.

Now, we could go on for hours about the great music and movies of the period, but we’re going to focus purely on the lovely ladies of the era. And, if you can forgive the big hair and shoulder pads, it really was a golden one.

14. Heather Locklear

If anything she’s actually improved with age.

13. Olivia Newton John

Quite a few of us wanted to get physical with Olivia.

12. Kathleen Turner

Possibly the sexiest voice ever.

11. Brooke Shields

How did it all go so wrong? Such a promising start.

10. Kim Basinger

OK, she can’t act – despite the fact she won an Oscar, for God’s sake – but there’s no doubt she’s a really hot woman.

9. Catherine Bach – aka Daisy Duke

Has anyone looked better in hotpants?

8. Beatrice Dalle

There was a time when she was on every self-respecting male university undergraduate’s wall.

7. Phoebe Cates

The swimming pool scene from Fast times at Ridgemont High will live long in the memory.

6. Princess Leia

What can we say? The gold bikini turned many a young boy into a man.

5. Susannah Hoffs

She made our teen age years a lot easier. We’ve all imagined her in our rooms.

4. Kelly LeBrock

Do we really need to explain?

3. Michelle Pfeiffer

When polled, 98 per cent of men say ‘they would’ when asked about the angular blonde. She can lie on the hecklerspray piano any time

2. Cindy Crawford

In 1988 she became the first supermodel to pose naked for Playboy. One mole with a hole most men wouldn’t mind climbing in

1. Debbie Harry

Admittedly, you could argue that she looked hotter in the late 70s, anyone who can wear a bin liner and still look sexy deserves real credit. Possibly the sexiest mouth ever.

Seriously, although she's screechy and can act a little bit mental at times, Heather Mills looks set to make FHM's 100 Sexiest Women list this year.

Needless to say, most of the reason why Heather Mills has been classified as sexy is because of those soft porn shoots she did 20 years ago. But answer us this – if being photographed spraying whipped cream on your knockers and fellating a red jelly penis while making your unusually hairy genitalia as visible as possible is now sexy, then why aren't we in FHM's 100 sexiest women list? Did we do all that for nothing?

Admit it – when you saw Heather Mills on GMTV that time squeaking out the word 'paedophile' over and over again like a morally outraged chinchilla, your first thought wasn't "My, this woman's gone doolally," but "PHWOOOAR!"

And instead of using your hands to cover up your face the first time you saw that picture of Heather Mills pointing at a pig, you clenched your fist and started doing that sex-pump thing that happens a lot in British 1970s sex comedies starring Robin Askwith.

No? You didn't? You saw Heather Mills' wonky mouth that's never learnt how to smile convincingly and wondered what Paul McCartney ever really saw in her? Us too. But if we're all busy thinking that, then who's been voting for Heather Mills in FHM's annual 100 sexiest women list?

Well, teenage boys, obviously, because a) it's FHM and b) you could grease up Nick Nolte, pop him in a bikini and most teenage boys would be able to grit their teeth and force out at least one solitary grim wank over the ensuing pictures if they ever got in FHM. But we're straying from the point. Heather Mills is sexy and it's downright confusing. OK reports:

Heather Mills could be named one of the world’s sexiest women, thanks to her bitter divorce battle. Astonishingly, she is beating actress Kirsten Dunst, 25, singer Gwen Stefani, 38, and Paris Hilton, 27, in a major poll… It will give her a boost as she waits to hear how much a court awards her in her divorce from Sir Paul McCartney, 65. FHM’s Chris Bell said: “With her power suits and model looks, thousands have realised Heather’s about to become the world’s most eligible – and richest – single woman.”

Power suits? Model looks? Perhaps Chris Bell meant 'constant infuriating facial expression' and 'willingness to take her clothes off for cash', unless he's describing a different Heather Mills that we don't know about.

But what the hell, let's just along with FHM's sick little ruse. Perhaps millions of boys really do find Heather Mills sexy. Perhaps they long for the day when Heather Mills accuses them of stabbing her with a wineglass before claiming to need £10,000 a day from them to survive. Perhaps they long to be that red jelly penis from Freuden der Liebe that Heather Mills seemed to find so delicious 20 years ago. Perhaps, basically, young people are idiots.

However, let's not underestimate the continued animosity between Heather Mills and Paul McCartney. Paul is bound to be distraught at all the positive publicity that FHM is handing to Heather Mills, and a fightback is inevitable. So look out for the April issue of Simply Knitting magazine, where we hear he's leading the pack in its 100 Sexiest Men Who Look More And More Like Your Elderly Grandmother With Every Passing Day list.

Read more:

SEXY HEATHER'S A PIN-UP! – OK