Articles tagged with: Samantha Ronson
Lindsay Lohan’s Dad: “Lindsay’s A Lesbian Now? Cool”
Now that Lindsay Lohan's had her tongue surgically grafted to the inside of Samantha Ronson's ear, nobody seems too sure about how much of a lesbian she is. But if anyone's going to know all the intimate details of Lindsay Lohan's new sapphic endeavours, it's bound to be Michael Lohan - Lindsay's born-again christian ex-convict of an absentee father. So tell us, Michael Lohan - is Lindsay Lohan a gigantic lesbian these days, or is she still big on penis? What's that? You originally said that Lindsay Lohan was a lesbian, but now you're backtracking furiously because you secretly suspect that your big mouth is widening the gulf between you and your daughter and you're trying to be as nondescript as possible to cover for the fact that Lindsay Lohan never tells you anything because you're yet to regain her trust despite several attempts on your part? Why, that doesn't help at all. Sheesh.
Now that Lindsay Lohan's had her tongue surgically grafted to the inside of Samantha Ronson's ear, nobody seems too sure about how much of a lesbian she is. But if anyone's going to know all the intimate details of Lindsay Lohan's new sapphic endeavours, it's bound to be Michael Lohan - Lindsay's born-again christian ex-convict of an absentee father. So tell us, Michael Lohan - is Lindsay Lohan a gigantic lesbian these days, or is she still big on penis? What's that? You originally said that Lindsay Lohan was a lesbian, but now you're backtracking furiously because you secretly suspect that your big mouth is widening the gulf between you and your daughter and you're trying to be as nondescript as possible to cover for the fact that Lindsay Lohan never tells you anything because you're yet to regain her trust despite several attempts on your part? Why, that doesn't help at all. Sheesh.
Lindsay Lohan Engaged To A Woman Or Nothing At All
Hollywood gossip, being what it is, has provided outlandish entertainment to all of us for years. Remember, for example, in 1991 when it was discovered Emmanuel Lewis was actually the kidney that stunted Gary Coleman's growth? Or what about when Air Bud lost his leg to an enormous electric pencil sharpener mistakenly left on and churning by the owner's alcoholic teenage son? Well that last one really isn't a good example because it was eventually proven in court - Lifetime actually did an entire mini series on it. We think. Well now we've got another of those stories for you, and of equal or lesser caliber too - Lindsay Lohan is apparently maritally engaged to a super-ugly man that is actually a mediocre woman. We think she was mediocre anyway. We really don't remember as several weeks ago a picture of her made us poke out our own eyes. We don't know, though. She could have been alright.
Hollywood gossip, being what it is, has provided outlandish entertainment to all of us for years. Remember, for example, in 1991 when it was discovered Emmanuel Lewis was actually the kidney that stunted Gary Coleman's growth? Or what about when Air Bud lost his leg to an enormous electric pencil sharpener mistakenly left on and churning by the owner's alcoholic teenage son? Well that last one really isn't a good example because it was eventually proven in court - Lifetime actually did an entire mini series on it. We think. Well now we've got another of those stories for you, and of equal or lesser caliber too - Lindsay Lohan is apparently maritally engaged to a super-ugly man that is actually a mediocre woman. We think she was mediocre anyway. We really don't remember as several weeks ago a picture of her made us poke out our own eyes. We don't know, though. She could have been alright.
Lindsay Lohan Possibly Gets Spazzed On Booze Again
Hear that? It's the sound of all the cars in the world pulling to one side in case Lindsay Lohan decides to drunkenly zoom about like a crazy woman again. It's a possibility if recent reports suggesting that Lindsay Lohan is back drinking again are to be believed. According to several sources, Lindsay Lohan was seen out in New York last weekend necking cocktails, smoking cigarettes and screeching at one of the Olsen twins to stay away from her 'girlfriend' Samantha Ronson. Oh Lindsay, it's so good to have you back. Your cocaine-filled trousers are pressed and waiting for you, and Calum Best has his camera phone primed in case you want to perform any more sex acts on him. Remember - you're a celebrity, so you can do whatever the fuck you want.
Hear that? It's the sound of all the cars in the world pulling to one side in case Lindsay Lohan decides to drunkenly zoom about like a crazy woman again. It's a possibility if recent reports suggesting that Lindsay Lohan is back drinking again are to be believed. According to several sources, Lindsay Lohan was seen out in New York last weekend necking cocktails, smoking cigarettes and screeching at one of the Olsen twins to stay away from her 'girlfriend' Samantha Ronson. Oh Lindsay, it's so good to have you back. Your cocaine-filled trousers are pressed and waiting for you, and Calum Best has his camera phone primed in case you want to perform any more sex acts on him. Remember - you're a celebrity, so you can do whatever the fuck you want.
