Posts tagged as:

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‘My Week With Marilyn’ Trailer Released – Already Sick Of Looking At Her

by Mof Gimmers

Marilyn Monroe is a godsend for people who can’t be truly bothered to think of someone who is really beautiful. She’s short-hand for good looking and, mercifully for her legacy, she died too young so we didn’t get to see the ravages of time mess up that face of hers. Of course, Monroe was quite [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Facing Now Crushingly Inevitable Legal Trouble From Rehab

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan may want to walk away from trouble, but the fact is, trouble isn’t prepared to let her go. Trouble, in this instance, is like a jealous ex who won’t let her get on with her life because he knows that LiLo is super fun when she’s evading the law and falling flat on [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Shouts The Word ‘Tea’ At Everyone Sniffing Her For Booze Pong

by Mof Gimmers

Queen Trash, Lindsay Lohan, has had her feet up at home while under arrest for sorta stealing a necklace. It really has been one of the most boring arrests in history. No prison memoirs, no rioting in the food hall, no violence, no drugs… just a weary unfurling of office admin and vague inconvenience. This [...]

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Hecklerspray Writer Hit With 2 Year Restraining Order By Lindsay Lohan

by Mof Gimmers

It has finally happened. A celebrity has actually gone and banned us from rummaging through their bins, standing silently on their lawn and breaking into their house to sniff the laundry basket and fall asleep, face down, with their undergarments on our faces. That celebrity is Lindsay Lohan. See, on Wednesday, she won a two-year [...]

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Lindsay Lohan’s Electronic Ankle Tag Starts Beeping Which Is Interesting

by Mof Gimmers

Now that Lindsay Lohan is under house arrest, she’s probably turned into a bit of a borebag. Her life has gone from wildly reckless and grottily glamorous to that of a student, loafing about and switching channels on the TV while sat in greasy undercrackers. Gone are the days when she’d have sex with either [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Gets A Restraining Order To Add To Her Completely Normal Life

by Mof Gimmers

We may well think of Lindsay Lohan as a jewel thief, booze-hoover and sometime thespian, but really, we should think of her as a piece of legal furniture. So frequently has LiLo been involved with matters of the law, that she’s probably the most qualified person in the USA when it comes to a person’s [...]

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And So, Judge Gives Lindsay Lohan 120 Days In Jail For Swiping Gaudy Necklace

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 120 days in jail for making off with that necklace from a shop that seemed rather happy to tout their CCTV footage around, which is all rather grisly and backstabby. Ergo, it’s fantastic and we’re all for it. Thankfully for LiLo though, she’s famous, which means she won’t get [...]

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Lindsay Lohan To Be Visitor Of The Britney Spears Prison Of Awesome ™

by Amy Grindhouse

Lindsay Lohan will probably receive no real punishment for allegedly stealing a $2,500 necklace – even though there were multiple witnesses and there’s surveillance video of the entire thing. Instead of going to prison on a theft charge, she’s going to be the first official visitor of the Britney Spears Prison Of Awesome ™. We’re [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Thinks Paris Hilton Is A Mean Girl (And Forgets About Them Kissing Each Other)

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan. It really is great to have you back. You and your speckled parts have been away too long. Could we perhaps offer you a drink? No, feel free to drive home too. We like it when you’re a complete mess. What? Paris Hilton has been nasty to you? Why don’t you go and [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Flashes Her Boobs During Community Service, Gets Drunk And Thinks Of Corpses

by Mof Gimmers

We liked Lindsay Lohan when she was a drug addled, diamond stealing, near-alcoholic who indulged in all manner of sexual activities, with not a care in the world what people thought of her. That’s our kind of celebrity. If you’re going to be wealthy and influential, then it is your duty to exploit it. It [...]

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