Posts tagged as:

rehab

Glee’s Cory Monteith Used To Be An Interesting Drug-Taker

by Mof Gimmers

The collective stars of Glee are so clean-cut and boring that they’re almost Teflon for interest. Seriously. The only thing of note about them is when they take their tops off or cover a song which irritates pooh-poohing rock fans (the latter is always particularly funny as musos deserve everything they get). However, this hasn’t [...]

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Amy Winehouse Cancels The Rest Of Her Tour Because She’s Out Of Her Tree

by Michael Park

A fresh, rejuvenated, rehabilitated Amy Winehouse has made the difficult decision to cancel her entire European tour after the entire internet has spent the week laughing at her inability to perform a song that she wrote all by herself during a recent gig in Belgrade. Confirmation came on Sunday that Ms Winehouse had cancelled performances in Istanbul [...]

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Prince Terrified Of Revealing True Identity So Throws David Arquette Out Of Concert

by Michael Park

Former husband 0f Courtney Cox and alleged actor David Arquette was thrown out of a Prince concert recently for committing the heinous crime of taking photos of ‘The Artist’ in his true, lizard form. The singer has a notorious ‘no photography’ rule at his shows designed to protect him from the damage his reputation could take [...]

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Charlie Sheen And Brooke Mueller Agree Custody Deal That Doesn’t Involve Suitcases Of Cocaine Or Anything Fun

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when Charlie Sheen was worth writing about? Okay, it looked like he was going to die and everything, but we don’t care about him emotionally. We just want to mock a stranger’s misfortune right? So he went about the world saying dumb things about his tiger blood, his fondness for porn actresses and the [...]

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Charlie Sheen May Get Porn House Dream

by Mof Gimmers

Remember a few months ago, when everyone couldn’t stop talking about Charlie Sheen? There was a time he was a champion wreck. He made women cry, invented seven thousand catchphrases, wobbled about on rooftops with massive knives and looked like he was headed for a spectacular early grave. Then he became self-aware, cleaned his act [...]

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Christina Aguilera Has Problems With Her Breasts On Television

by Mof Gimmers

Since Christina Aguilera flubbed the American National anthem at the Super Bowl, starred in the impressively eventless Burlesque and got arrested for being more drunk than Oliver Reed’s liver, she’s not been too much fun. In fact, she’s been something of a bore. Instead of properly going off the rails, she’s turned into a little [...]

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Ashton Kutcher Says The ‘Men’ Gig Is Like Winning The Lottery (Wholly Undeserved Riches Brought On By Chance?)

by Mof Gimmers

As well you know, Ashton Kutcher is a oddly hairlined berk. He’s managed to make a career out of… well… playing himself. Which is notably, a dunderhead with a six pack and blank look on his head. Still, at least he’s aware of this. How? Well, the pro-goofball – who was recently announced as Charlie [...]

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Chandler From Friends Goes To Rehab After Realising How Pointless He’s Become

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Matthew Perry? Y’know? Chandler from Friends? If you do, you’ll remember he went as thin as a heroin-addict’s dog for a while, before ballooning to the size of a shed full of butter, before going thin again and walking off the edge of the Earth, never to be seen again. Well, Chandler is back [...]

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Incredibly Annoying Charlie Sheen To Be Replaced By Even More Annoying Ashton Kutcher On ‘Men’?

by Mof Gimmers

After rumours floated around the slebphere that Hugh Grant was to take over Charlie Sheen’s role on Two And A Half Men (ostensibly, The Famous One On The Show), everyone scratched their heads and muttered about how little sense it made. Surely a programme like that needs someone more irritating than Hugh Grant? Well, it [...]

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Hugh Grant As Baffling Replacement For Charlie Sheen On Two And A Half Men?

by Mof Gimmers

Hugh ‘It’s All About The Twiglets’ Grant is, and take this with a whole lake of salt, apparently being touted as a replacement for Charlie Sheen in the abjectly awful and heavingly unfunny Two and a Half Men. It would appear that the actor-turned-paparazzi snitch started to be courted around a month ago by CBS [...]

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