Posts tagged as:

rehab

Charlie Sheen And Brooke Mueller Agree Custody Deal That Doesn’t Involve Suitcases Of Cocaine Or Anything Fun

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when Charlie Sheen was worth writing about? Okay, it looked like he was going to die and everything, but we don’t care about him emotionally. We just want to mock a stranger’s misfortune right? So he went about the world saying dumb things about his tiger blood, his fondness for porn actresses and the [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Charlie Sheen May Get Porn House Dream

by Mof Gimmers

Remember a few months ago, when everyone couldn’t stop talking about Charlie Sheen? There was a time he was a champion wreck. He made women cry, invented seven thousand catchphrases, wobbled about on rooftops with massive knives and looked like he was headed for a spectacular early grave. Then he became self-aware, cleaned his act [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Christina Aguilera Has Problems With Her Breasts On Television

by Mof Gimmers

Since Christina Aguilera flubbed the American National anthem at the Super Bowl, starred in the impressively eventless Burlesque and got arrested for being more drunk than Oliver Reed’s liver, she’s not been too much fun. In fact, she’s been something of a bore. Instead of properly going off the rails, she’s turned into a little [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Ashton Kutcher Says The ‘Men’ Gig Is Like Winning The Lottery (Wholly Undeserved Riches Brought On By Chance?)

by Mof Gimmers

As well you know, Ashton Kutcher is a oddly hairlined berk. He’s managed to make a career out of… well… playing himself. Which is notably, a dunderhead with a six pack and blank look on his head. Still, at least he’s aware of this. How? Well, the pro-goofball – who was recently announced as Charlie [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

Chandler From Friends Goes To Rehab After Realising How Pointless He’s Become

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Matthew Perry? Y’know? Chandler from Friends? If you do, you’ll remember he went as thin as a heroin-addict’s dog for a while, before ballooning to the size of a shed full of butter, before going thin again and walking off the edge of the Earth, never to be seen again. Well, Chandler is back [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Incredibly Annoying Charlie Sheen To Be Replaced By Even More Annoying Ashton Kutcher On ‘Men’?

by Mof Gimmers

After rumours floated around the slebphere that Hugh Grant was to take over Charlie Sheen’s role on Two And A Half Men (ostensibly, The Famous One On The Show), everyone scratched their heads and muttered about how little sense it made. Surely a programme like that needs someone more irritating than Hugh Grant? Well, it [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Hugh Grant As Baffling Replacement For Charlie Sheen On Two And A Half Men?

by Mof Gimmers

Hugh ‘It’s All About The Twiglets’ Grant is, and take this with a whole lake of salt, apparently being touted as a replacement for Charlie Sheen in the abjectly awful and heavingly unfunny Two and a Half Men. It would appear that the actor-turned-paparazzi snitch started to be courted around a month ago by CBS [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

Prince Really Hates Whitney Houston Because She’s A Nutter

by Mof Gimmers

You may well think that Prince is some kind of mental freakshow who lives inside a sock made of gold, eating tinfoil all day while stroking his waxy skin… but he’s nothing compared to the complete train wreck that is Whitney Houston. That’s right. If you consider that Prince has to live with his weird [...]

14 comments Read more >>>

Charlie Sheen Upsets Ex With Rehab Joke And Threatens To Tour The World

by Mof Gimmers

Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo Of Truth tour has been hobbling around America, confusing and dumbfounding people and making people too thick to think titter every stinkin’ time he wheels out the whole ‘Uh, winning!‘ thing. Until now, this dreadful spectacle has been confined to the boundaries of mainland America… but not for long. That’s because [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Charlie Sheen Gets Lifeline From Denise Richards In Now Boring News Item

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when Charlie Sheen was fun to write about? Remember that? He had people cowering in cupboards, suitcases of cocaine and had a nervous breakdown before our very eyes. And now? He’s gone from meme to admin. How terribly dull. Instead of standing on rooftops waving a machete around, he’s involved in a boring tour [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →