Posts tagged as:

rehab

Charlie Sheen To Pocket £6m For Bothering Us All On Big Brother And Become The New Barrymore

by Mof Gimmers

Big Brother has always split the UK into two camps: Those that don’t like it and those that don’t watch it. And now that (Channel) Five have gone and bought it, many of us will wearily switch on our sets just to get angry for an hour every night. And like the Big Brothers that [...]

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Denise Richards Talks About Her Three Boobs And Being Lesbian To Make Teenagers Explode

by Mof Gimmers

Denise Richards is a woman created by teenage boy’s minds. That’s exactly why Charlie Sheen shacked up with her. And of course, what with Richards being the world’s greatest wit, she has a lot to say about her appearance. Basically, she’d like to make the arrested developed among you excited by talking about her boobies [...]

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Who Would Have Ever Imagined That Charlie Sheen’s Goddesses Would’ve Got Jealous?

by Mof Gimmers

Apart from the fact Charlie Sheen is a dead-eyed berk with a bizarrely high opinion of himself and a nose that can really handle corrosive high grade drugs, willing to sniff out furniture to punch and women to upset, why on Earth would his former lover, Bree Olson, want to leave him? She didn’t feel [...]

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Brooke Mueller Has Trouble On A Big Aeroplane Thanks To Being A Massive Berk

by Mof Gimmers

Brooke Mueller, a woman who was daft enough to have children with Charlie Sheen and rather fond of crack-pipes, may well be thinking of getting back with the former Two And A Half Men chump (once the divorce goes through, confusingly enough), but that doesn’t mean she has to be nice to people on planes. [...]

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Charlie Sheen And Brooke Mueller Want To Carry On Taking Drugs, For Their Kids

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! You know how we thought that Charlie Sheen had gone boring and stopped taking all those lovely, mind-wrecking Class A drugs? Well, we might be in with a bit of luck here because it seems that he’s planning on consuming a lot more, which means he might go mental and die! See, Charlie Sheen [...]

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Charlie Sheen To Be Bricked To Death By Insane Clown Posse Fans

by Mof Gimmers

Detroit’s hilariously thick hip hop mongrels, Insane Clown Posse, have been booking hard for their 12th annual Gathering of the Juggalos festival. Beautifully, Charlie Sheen has been booked for the show and it will almost certainly end in tears. You’re probably thinking ‘Charlie Sheen isn’t the monumental balls-up he once was. It’ll pass without incident, [...]

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Charlie Sheen To Grin Through The Tears At Comedy Roast Before Hitting The Drugs Again

by Mof Gimmers

For all the misery that Charlie Sheen has put us through since his wheeze of Being A Nutter got tired, we’ve all been waiting for some comeback. We kinda hoped he’d OD on bad drugs surrounded by prostitutes rifling his pockets, but alas, it wasn’t to be. In fact, since Chuck Sheeno knocked the drugs [...]

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Harry Potter Was A Vomiting Alcoholic

by Mof Gimmers

Daniel Radcliffe seems like a nice chap doesn’t he? That’s despite that fact he got naked once and showed everyone his ghastly, sinewy, gym-honed body which made him look like a pale He-Man figure (didn’t see it? Click here at your peril). How does someone get the confidence to derobe before the public’s eyes? Easy. [...]

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Charlie Sheen Admits Using Illicit Drugs – World Rubs Eyes And Wonders If It’s Still Last Year.

by Paul Pencott

In a statement that startled absolutely no-one in the cosmos, Charlie Sheen has come clean and admitted that he once did some drugs and that. WAIT! It’s steroids this time. Reports that currently no drugs are left in the world for Charlie Sheen to consume are unconfirmed, but we are advising parents to keep their [...]

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The Horribly Lonely Charlie Sheen To Die A Gruesome, Violent Death

by Mof Gimmers

Charlie Sheen was once the talk of the town. He enchanted us all with his spectacular nervous breakdown, his drug taking, his fondness for pornography, his punching of chandeliers and his inventing of various phrases. However, he went off quicker than an opened yoghurt. Still, we left Sheeno with his custody case with Brooke Mueller [...]

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