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james bond

Quantum Of Solace Tops Weekend Box Office Despite Silly Name

by Stuart Heritage

It may have zero dialogue, an impenetrable plot and a man who is James Bond in name alone, but people love Quantum Of Solace.

Quantum Of Solace isn’t just the number one movie at the weekend box office this week. In fact, Quantum Of Solace is the biggest James Bond movie ever to open at the US weekend box office, taking $70 million in the process. And that proves one thing about Quantum Of Solace above anything else – people really, really like the Bourne movies.

But, hey, Quantum Of Solace features a James Bond who’s dispensed with the wit, style and panache that we’re used to seeing to become a scowling robot whose job mainly seems to involve driving speedboats through explosions and punching Frenchmen. And that’s popular in America. Who knew?

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Roger Moore Gets All Stroppy About Punchy New James Bond

by Stuart Heritage

You knew what you got when Roger Moore was James Bond – safari jackets, volcano HQs and women called Felicity Nobgobbler.

Not any more, though. Daniel Craig is James Bond now, so that means that when you watch a James Bond film you’re essentially getting whatever happened in the last Bourne movie, but without any of the interesting bits about amnesia.

And this has upset Roger Moore. Moore says he’s saddened by all the flashy violence in the new Daniel Craig James Bond movies, and he wishes that 007 films could be more like the ones he made. The thing is, he’s got a point – we know we’d have enjoyed Quantum Of Solace quite a lot more if all the parkour scenes starred a wheezy old man in a corset who looks like he smells of urine-soaked leather instead of Daniel Craig.

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12 Worst Bond Baddies

by David Schwartz

Some Bond baddies really shouldn’t have bothered getting out bed.

They have all these crazy ideas of world domination, but are barely fit to tie their own shoelaces without help. Plus the fact they are up against James Bond, a guy who could find a way of decapitating you with just a dessert spoon.

Well, Hecklerspray has come up with a list of the worst offenders – and what a sorry bunch they are! To make it interesting, we have decided to include the henchmen who have tried their luck against 007, as well as the main villains. Enjoy.

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WEBTHUMP! Friday 7 November 2008

by Stuart Heritage

9 – Or this geeky, come to think of it – Pwnordie

8 – Cat Deeley. On a horse. That is all – Popsugar

7 – Aside from the part about standing on some wicker next to a flamethrower thousands of feet up in the air, here’s why hot air balloons are dangerous – Telegraph

6 – Want to make a robot that walks like a chicken? OK! – Instructables

5 – Can someone please employ Olly Moss to do more film posters, please – Drawn

4 – Will Blur reunite? Yes, yes they will. They definitely will. They won’t – Radio 1

3 – Here’s how CNN pulled off that hologram nonsense on Tuesday night. Now we’re just waiting for the explanation about why they did it – Gizmodo

2 – Stupid James Bond plots. All are better than Quantum Of Solace – I09

1 – And now, a preview of your next 400 nightmares, courtesy of a creepy old toymaker – I Am Bored

9 - Or this geeky, come to think of it - Pwnordie 8 - Cat Deeley. On a horse. That is all - Popsugar 7 - Aside from the part about standing on some wicker next to a flamethrower thousands of feet up in the air, here's why hot air balloons are dangerous - Telegraph 6 - Want to make a robot that walks like a chicken? OK! - Instructables 5 - Can someone please employ Olly Moss to do more film posters, please - Drawn 4 - Will Blur reunite? Yes, yes they will. They definitely will. They won't - Radio 1 3 - Here's how CNN pulled off that hologram nonsense on Tuesday night. Now we're just waiting for the explanation about why they did it - Gizmodo 2 - Stupid James Bond plots. All are better than Quantum Of Solace - I09 1 - And now, a preview of your next 400 nightmares, courtesy of a creepy old toymaker - I Am Bored
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Early Reviews: Quantum Of Solace? Quantum Of Bum

by Stuart Heritage

New James Bond movie Quantum Of Solace faces an almost impossible task – could it be more well-received than Casino Royale?

It’s a tough job – because, as we all know, films don’t get any better than overlong Bourne rip-offs about a man who cries blood when he’s losing at cards – and it seems like it might have been too much of a tough job for Quantum Of Solace.

Early reviews for Quantum of Solace are starting to trickle in, and they’re all fairly scathing. But James Bond movies always tend to be a direct reaction against the previous one, so we can all relax. The follow-up to the emotionally bleak Quantum Of Solace – provisionally entitled Daniel Craig Punches A Laser-Shark In His Little Knickers – is sure to be a belter.

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Daniel Craig Loves All The Abuse. Loves It

by Chris Laverty

Currently appearing as 007 in Quantum of Solace, which by most accounts is exciting but about as much fun as a Schindler’s List theme park, Daniel Craig has taken time out to praise a new generation of Bond women. Women who will tell him to “f**k off” if he misbehaves. That’s right, “f**k off”, it’s Slovakian.

Daniel Craig isn’t exactly renowned for his song and dance demeanour. He’s a serious actor and questions about his teeny shorts in Casino Royale or why he wore a lifejacket to avoid drowning three years ago are bound to annoy him.

Plus if he decided to chase us over a building site we’d make it about as far as the Portakabin before going into cardiac arrest. We’re gonna just stick to the new movie instead.

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Quantum Of Solace Spoiler: Gemma Arterton Covered In Gunk

by Stuart Heritage

The new James Bond movie Quantum Of Solace is heading towards us at light speed, and spoilers are coming thick and fast.

For instance, we already know that the Quantum Of Solace theme-tune sounds a bit like a wasp farting through a megaphone, and that Quantum Of Solace has a trailer that’s basically kangaroo boxing for the A.D.D set, but what about the biggest spoiler of all – what will the initial Bond girl get covered with and die this time?

And now we know. Thanks to this exclusive photo from The Mail On Sunday, we can conclusively state that Gemma Arterton, the Bond girl from the first part of Quantum Of Solace, dies because she gets covered in oil.

Ah, you see – it’s a visual nod to the iconic moment in Goldfinger when Jill Masterson gets covered in gold and dies. Because, obviously, back in the 1960s gold was one of the world’s most valuable resources whereas now it’s oil. Personally we can’t wait until the great food shortage of 2034, when we’ll get to see a Bond girl die because she’s covered in bacon and Chunky Kit-Kats.

Anyway, what other spoilers can we glean from this picture? We’ve had some ideas:

1 – Quantum Of Solace revolves around the tragic moment when a leaking tanker mistakes Gemma Arterton with a gannet.

2 – The baddie in Quantum Of Solace is an out-of-control ice cream man and, after he covers Arterton in chocolate sauce, his next victims are in turn suffocated with hundreds and thousands and battered over the head with a Mivvi.

3 – That’s actually not oil or chocolate sauce, but Gemma Arterton has simply been blacked up and actually Quantum Of Solace is quite racist.

Whichever one happens to be true, it’s good to see that the Daniel Craig Bond films are just as bravely forward-looking as they promised. Ahem.

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The Bond Homage – Mail

The new James Bond movie Quantum Of Solace is heading towards us at light speed, and spoilers are coming thick and fast. For instance, we already know that the Quantum Of Solace theme-tune sounds a bit like a wasp farting through a megaphone, and that Quantum Of Solace has a trailer that's basically kangaroo boxing for the A.D.D set, but what about the biggest spoiler of all - what will the initial Bond girl get covered with and die this time? And now we know. Thanks to this exclusive photo from The Mail On Sunday, we can conclusively state that Gemma Arterton, the Bond girl from the first part of Quantum Of Solace, dies because she gets covered in oil. Ah, you see - it's a visual nod to the iconic moment in Goldfinger when Jill Masterson gets covered in gold and dies. Because, obviously, back in the 1960s gold was one of the world's most valuable resources whereas now it's oil. Personally we can't wait until the great food shortage of 2034, when we'll get to see a Bond girl die because she's covered in bacon and Chunky Kit-Kats. Anyway, what other spoilers can we glean from this picture? We've had some ideas: 1 - Quantum Of Solace revolves around the tragic moment when a leaking tanker mistakes Gemma Arterton with a gannet. 2 - The baddie in Quantum Of Solace is an out-of-control ice cream man and, after he covers Arterton in chocolate sauce, his next victims are in turn suffocated with hundreds and thousands and battered over the head with a Mivvi. 3 - That's actually not oil or chocolate sauce, but Gemma Arterton has simply been blacked up and actually Quantum Of Solace is quite racist. Whichever one happens to be true, it's good to see that the Daniel Craig Bond films are just as bravely forward-looking as they promised. Ahem. Read more: The Bond Homage - Mail
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Trailers Decoded: Quantum Of Solace

by Stuart Heritage

The forthcoming James Bond movie Quantum Of Solace doesn’t come out for a few more months, so chances are you’re literally urinating in your pants right now about it.

We’re not, but that’s because we’ve seen the new trailer for Quantum Of Solace and therefore have worked out every single moment of the movie from beginning to end with an almost perfect accuracy rate. Want us to talk you through it? Good. Here’s what we know for a fact:

*Quantum Of Solace is about James Bond violently getting revenge for a chair he bought that was quite squeaky.

*Apparently the baddies in the film are trading in ‘the world’s most precious resource’ which, as we all know, is Dairylea Dunkers.

*Due to the credit crunch, no action sequence in Quantum Of Solace will last for more than quarter of a second, with each one fading to black because that just makes it seem more dramatic and stuff.

*At one point, James Bond asks George Lucas for help.

*Aside from these things, Quantum Of Solace will be exactly the same as Casino Royale and probably a bit disappointing.

The forthcoming James Bond movie Quantum Of Solace doesn't come out for a few more months, so chances are you're literally urinating in your pants right now about it. We're not, but that's because we've seen the new trailer for Quantum Of Solace and therefore have worked out every single moment of the movie from beginning to end with an almost perfect accuracy rate. Want us to talk you through it? Good. Here's what we know for a fact: *Quantum Of Solace is about James Bond violently getting revenge for a chair he bought that was quite squeaky. *Apparently the baddies in the film are trading in 'the world's most precious resource' which, as we all know, is Dairylea Dunkers. *Due to the credit crunch, no action sequence in Quantum Of Solace will last for more than quarter of a second, with each one fading to black because that just makes it seem more dramatic and stuff. *At one point, James Bond asks George Lucas for help. *Aside from these things, Quantum Of Solace will be exactly the same as Casino Royale and probably a bit disappointing.
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Quantum of Solace Pushed Back a Week, and It’s All Harry Potter’s Fault

by Ian Dransfield

Harry Potter has a lot to answer for – now he’s magically caused Quantum of Solace to be pushed back. Not content with ruining the dreams and emotions of a billion little kids and a lot of adults who probably should know better, Daniel Radcliffe and company’s decision to move the new Harry Potter film [...]

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Jack White & Alicia Keys Do Weirdest-Ever James Bond Theme

by Stuart Heritage

Oh, we’re so disappointed. The Bond theme for Quantum of Solace has been announced, and it’s not even called Quantum of Solace.

How rubbish is that? We’d even written a demo called Quantum Of Solace in case we were asked – it goes “Hello there, I’m a quantum of solace/ I want to buy a blouse, can you direct me to Wallis?” – but no. You had to go and call the Quantum of Solace theme Another Way To Die, didn’t you.

Also, the Quantum of Solace theme tune is going to be a duet between Alicia Keys and Jack White from The White Stripes, so it’s bound to sound like an angry little witch trapped in an upturned metal dustbin. And Alicia Keys, naturally. Just so you know.

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