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james bond

VIDEO: Ooh, There’s A Quantum Of Solace Teaser-Blip Online

by Stuart Heritage

You might have been wondering what the new James Bond move A Quantum Of Solace will be like – surely it can’t be as bad as the title, right?

Well, get ready to find out. The first footage from A Quantum Of Solace has appeared online, and it gives a dead-on indication of what the finished movie will be like – it’ll be ten seconds long and mostly about James Bond trying to kick a man’s jaw off.

OK, so the online footage of A Quantum of Solace isn’t particularly revelatory – in fact watching it feels a little bit like listening to a toddler’s breathless description of a petrol station blowing up – but we do have the video after the jump, and it’s not something that any ADD sufferers who haven’t got bored of endless parkour scenes in movies yet will want to miss.

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Top 25 Bond Deaths

by David Schwartz

Best James Bond Deaths goldfinger

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Top 10 Fights In Movie History

by David Schwartz

Violence in movies – terrible, isn’t it. No! We all like to see a good old-fashioned scrap once in a while.

Don’t even try to deny it. You may try and act like you abhor violence in movies, but deep down the sight of two people kicking the crap out of each other really gets you going.

Well, hecklerspray understands. There’s been many a time when we have pictured ourselves beating Sting to a bloody pulp. See kids, violence is fine as long as it’s in your mind, not on the streets. Anyway, to celebrate the fact that we all love to see someone evil get a good hiding, we have come up with our 10 favourite fight scenes in films.

And if you disagree, we’ll come around your house…

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Mark Ronson: Amy Winehouse Not Fit To Do James Bond Justice

by Paul Sorrenti

The planned Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson Bond-theme has been cancelled because, according to Ronson, when it comes to her current mental state, Amy can’t find a quantum of solace anywhere.

However, a spokesman for Winehouse has said that this isn’t the case and that the real reason is to do with a clash of interests regarding the development of the song, of which Amy had “other ideas”.

Is Amy telling the truth, or is it Mark? Who knows? As far as that argument goes, it’s probably best to live and let die.

It’s a terrible shame for all things Bond as, when it comes to musical collaborations, nobody does it better than Winehouse and Ronson.

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James Bond Knackers His Car In A Lake

by Stuart Heritage

Don’t worry if you can’t stand the fact that the new James Bond movie is called A Quantum Of Solace – turns out that God’s not such a fan of it either.

That’s because, just a few weeks after a crazy South American mayor drove his car through a set during filming in a vicious rage, a James Bond stuntman has accidentally plunged a £120,000 Aston Martin off a road into a massive Italian lake and knackered the bastard to pieces.

What’s more, it’s been reported that the Aston Martin was the only one available to the crew for the film. That leaves A Quantum Of Solace in a bit of a quandary – it could shell out for a new one at huge expense to the movie, or it could patch together a workaround. Which isn’t too bad, because frankly we’ve waited too long to see 007 bring down SPECTRE with aSegway, some rollerblades, an Oyster card and a hotwired forklift truck.

Don't worry if you can't stand the fact that the new James Bond movie is called A Quantum Of Solace - turns out that God's not such a fan of it either. That's because, just a few weeks after a crazy South American mayor drove his car through a set during filming in a vicious rage, a James Bond stuntman has accidentally plunged a £120,000 Aston Martin off a road into a massive Italian lake and knackered the bastard to pieces. What's more, it's been reported that the Aston Martin was the only one available to the crew for the film. That leaves A Quantum Of Solace in a bit of a quandary - it could shell out for a new one at huge expense to the movie, or it could patch together a workaround. Which isn't too bad, because frankly we've waited too long to see 007 bring down SPECTRE with aSegway, some rollerblades, an Oyster card and a hotwired forklift truck.
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Crazy Mayor Tries To Run Down James Bond

by Stuart Heritage

British mayors have the best job in the world – getting paid to wear some Mr T-style bling while women’s institute members give you slices of cake? How is that not brilliant?

But Chilean mayors have it even better. Not only do they get the requisite bling/cake combo – we assume – but they also get to try and mow down iconic movie characters in their mayoral 4×4. On purpose.

Don’t believe us? Then look at Carlos Lopez, mayor of Baquedano. He’s been arrested for driving a car at James Bond star Daniel Craig during a scene as some form of protest. Lopez was either protesting about the heavy-handed nature of the Bond crew during filming or because he just thinks that A Quantum Of Solace is a really, really shitty name. Either way – mad props, you mental South American public official.

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Al Pacino Gets To Be The Shoutiest Ever James Bond Villain

by Stuart Heritage

Think that A Quantum Of Solace is a crappy name for a James Bond title? Perhaps it’ll make more sense when it’s bellowed by a 67-year-old shouting midget with no real sense of subtlety.

You guessed it – Al Pacino is going to star in the new James Bond movie A Quantum Of Solace.

Thank God for that – after spending weeks fretting over the quality of the new James Bond film, it looks like all our fears were misplaced. Now that Al Pacino has signed up for a role in A Quantum Of Solace, we’re confident that it’ll be at least as good as Ocean’s Thirteen. Phew, right?

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Top Five Patronising James Bond Quotes

by David Schwartz

Must be hard not to patronise people when you are James Bond.

When you can basically do anything, kill anything and shag anything while in the middle of saving the world, it can’t be easy making small talk with us mere mortals. Usually, he tries to disguise it with terrible puns. Shocking! But every now and again he slips up (mainly on Roger Moore’s watch).

Like women, fast cars and Martinis, he just can’t help himself. There are many we could mention, but we have decided to cut them down to just five:

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You! Write The New James Bond Theme!

by Stuart Heritage

You heard right – there’s a competition to write the theme-tune to the new James Bond.

Relax, nobody wants you to write the theme-tune to new James Bond film A Quantum Of Solace – the least rhymable 007 movie since 1977′s The Spy Who Loved Oranges – but the new James Bond book Devil May Care. Interested? Then read what we’ve just been sent:

Musicians and James Bond fans across Britain have the rare chance to be a part of 007′s iconic history as Penguin announces its search for the theme tune to Devil May Care, the eagerly awaited new Bond novel written by Sebastian Faulks. From today visitors to uk.myspace.com/devilmaycarebook have the chance to create an original piece of music for the new Bond book which is published on 28th May, the centenary of Ian Fleming’s birth. The winning track will become the book’s official theme tune and will be featured on the Devil May Care audio book, published on the same day. This will be the first theme tune to accompany a James Bond book and will later be available as a free digital download.

OK, it’s not quite as prestigious as writing the theme-tune to a James Bond film, but this is clearly an opportunity not to be missed; Devil May Care rhymes with everything. Breville-Made Hair, Level-A Bear, Dishevel Day Fair, Bevel Clay Square – see? Everything.

If you do fancy having a pop at this songwriting challenge, remember that your entries have to be in by February 25. And if you could fit in a verse about finding out about the competition on a blog called hecklerspray that can sort of be quite good every now and then, we’ll love you forever.

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Devil May Care MySpace Competition

You heard right - there's a competition to write the theme-tune to the new James Bond. Relax, nobody wants you to write the theme-tune to new James Bond film A Quantum Of Solace - the least rhymable 007 movie since 1977's The Spy Who Loved Oranges - but the new James Bond book Devil May Care. Interested? Then read what we've just been sent: Musicians and James Bond fans across Britain have the rare chance to be a part of 007's iconic history as Penguin announces its search for the theme tune to Devil May Care, the eagerly awaited new Bond novel written by Sebastian Faulks. From today visitors to uk.myspace.com/devilmaycarebook have the chance to create an original piece of music for the new Bond book which is published on 28th May, the centenary of Ian Fleming's birth. The winning track will become the book's official theme tune and will be featured on the Devil May Care audio book, published on the same day. This will be the first theme tune to accompany a James Bond book and will later be available as a free digital download. OK, it's not quite as prestigious as writing the theme-tune to a James Bond film, but this is clearly an opportunity not to be missed; Devil May Care rhymes with everything. Breville-Made Hair, Level-A Bear, Dishevel Day Fair, Bevel Clay Square - see? Everything. If you do fancy having a pop at this songwriting challenge, remember that your entries have to be in by February 25. And if you could fit in a verse about finding out about the competition on a blog called hecklerspray that can sort of be quite good every now and then, we'll love you forever. Read more: Devil May Care MySpace Competition
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Daniel Craig Tries To Explain What A Quantum Of Solace Is

by Stuart Heritage

Still trying to work out why anyone on Earth would want to call anything – let alone a movie costing hundreds of millions of dollars – A Quantum Of Solace?

Us too. It’s been almost a week since the new James Bond movie was officially given the title A Quantum Of Solace, and it hasn’t got any less rubbish in the interim.

But fear not, because Daniel Craig has started to do interviews about A Quantum Of Solace in the hope that people will start saying “A Quantum Of Solace” so much soon that it’ll lose all meaning and everyone will forget how godawful it actually is.

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