Diddy Wants To Be James Bond, Despite Nobody Else Wanting That
After being a bit rubbish for a while, James Bond people have finally pulled their finger out of their arses and attempted to make things better.
They realised that Pierce Brosnan was only going to turn the films into girly musicals with spontaneous dance routines, so they had to relieve him of duty. Or put a bullet in his brain.
Enter Daniel Craig, the moody-looking sod who took over. His turn as Bond made sure that the films were at least semi-watchable. Despite the franchise getting back on its feet after a slight wobble, there is a potential villain waiting in the wings to destroy everything. Diddy wants to be the next James Bond, and no doubt wants to try and kill his enemies by spraying his fragrance in their eyes.
There’s nothing more annoying than people who think they can do everything. Despite our attempts to avoid him, we’ve all heard a song where Diddy will blab on about a large amount of money or some woman he pimped out. To say he repeats himself time and time again would be a slight understatement.
The only real acting experience that Diddy has is in his music videos and even then they aren’t that impressive. Once the jewellery trucks arrive to bling out everyone, a director simply shouts action and everyone sways around for a few moments. And there you have it, how to make a rap video.
Despite being confined to these sorts of videos, Diddy still has the confidence to want to audition for the role of James Bond even though nobody needs a new James Bond.And he’s got the cash to prove it.
Yes that’s right, Diddy decided to show that he is a) a moron and b) has too much money by blowing silly amounts on a tape to show that the next role as James Bond should go to him. Digital Spy reports:
The rapper took a private jet to the south of France to produce the action segment, which he hopes will sway Bond executives. The clip will apparently double as promotional footage for Diddy’s fragrance, I Am King.
Great, we’ve basically got a really expensive advert for a product we can’t really tell is of any use. Fragrance adverts at the best of times are pretentious piles of poo due to the fact we can’t smell them via our TVs. Genius work, there, Mr Diddy. We’ll definitely rush out and pick up a bottle. Diddy also said:
“This is my audition tape for the next James Bond. There is a black President and it’s time for there to be a black Bond. God bless…”
We’ve all heard Diddy’s incisive political thoughts before the American election. Maybe it’s about time to tell him that Barack Obama is a real person and James Bond is the creation of a writer. Perhaps Diddy also believes in Santa. Perhaps he’ll be leaving a trap out to capture him this month before unveiling him to the world.
If Diddy did get the role, you’d know he’d balls up James Bond something rotten. He’d change the character’s name to something daft like Jay Bonza or J Bod before getting the character to travel around the world with a 50-strong gang of minders, makeup artists and managers.
It’s about time we had a black, male, self-obsessed Helen Keller too. Can’t we convince him to take on that role, method acting all the way? Then stay like that.
What about the giant squid with the elbows?
o man, my comment ended up under the wrong story.
i was sure i put it under the one about the tunguska blast.
melabonbon, you have to admit though “giant squid with elbows” is still a bang on description of Diddy, we wouldnt of noticed it was posted in the wrong article.
FIRST OF ALL HE DID NOT PAY PERSONALLY FOR THE VIDEO. AND HE FLEW JET BLUE IN THE CARGO HOLE. THE ONLY THING HE IS, IS THE KING OF SHIT. AND THAT’S WHAT HE STEPPED IN. HE’S A FAKE, CORNY, NO TALENT, SAMPLE SALE BITCH HO. THE ONLY BOND HE’LL SEE IS A BAIL BONDMEN!!!! HAHAHAHAHA WHAT LAME BRAIN VIDEO. HE LIKE TO STEAL FROM OTHER PEOPLE AND CLAIM IT AS HIS OWN. HE’S JUST ANOTHER MICKEY MOUSE CLUB BITCH. HAHAHA
LOVE,
BIGGIE SMALLS (DIDDY IS NOT SO NOTORIOUS)BACK FROM THE GRAVE AND SPEAKING HAHAHAHAHAHA BOO
ASS. HAHA
HAHAHA CURSE MY MECHANICAL BODY HAHAHA
All this James Bond audition tape stuff is crap. Diddy made this video for his new fragrance, I AM KING. It’s ridiculous shit. The footage everyone’s talking about is nothing more than some extra stuff from his I AM KING photo shoot.
Check out the video here and you’ll kno what’s going on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zByX8-lZENY
He doesn’t just make it about him. It’s about all of us!!! WE ARE ALL KINGS. Forget the rumors…
stop ruining the fun badboy - when all else fails, take the piss out of diddy.
its an institution for god’s sake.
and when u watch that video you’ll see he says, “this is my audition tape” still think its bullshit? dumbass
Wait, what’s this about a squid with elbows in Tunguska?
Let me see…..sophisticated, intelligent, discrete, cool headed. Doesn’t sound like your typical black guy. Let’s try the opposite…
Childlike, retarded, ostentatious, impetuous….. 007 License to bust moves!
It will be like a spoof blaxploitation movie.
Um…
Right…
I don’t get AJ’s post at all. Part of me wants to shout “BURN THE RASCIST!”.
The other part is eating toast at the moment.
WTF?
Lame brain: do american keyboards not have Caps Lock? I’d imagine they do try and limit the number of keys, to prevent confusion.
Thank you AJ
Shooty believe me you would have to live in america to fully “get it”. Young typical american black men believe the world is a bad rap video and the older ones think their huggy bear.
I think he should play Amy Winehouse in a made for tv lifetime drama of her life.