Currently appearing as 007 in Quantum of Solace, which by most accounts is exciting but about as much fun as a Schindler’s List theme park, Daniel Craig has taken time out to praise a new generation of Bond women. Women who will tell him to “f**k off” if he misbehaves. That’s right, “f**k off“, it’s Slovakian.
Daniel Craig isn’t exactly renowned for his song and dance demeanour. He’s a serious actor and questions about his teeny shorts in Casino Royale or why he wore a lifejacket to avoid drowning three years ago are bound to annoy him.
Plus if he decided to chase us over a building site we’d make it about as far as the Portakabin before going into cardiac arrest. We’re gonna just stick to the new movie instead.
In most Bond films the girls either end up dead or bedded, or bedded then dead, or dead then bedded (Roge had terrible eyesight). Either that or they have eight vaginas like that lady in Octopussy and run a lesbian circus. So how have times changed? We’ll tell you how times have changed – the girls swear now. Swear, dammit!
“I think Bond is as misogynistic as he always was. But the difference is that we try to cast great actresses playing strong women who, if he misbehaves, will tell him to f**k off” commented Craig recently.
They’re not going to say that in the film of course. No Slovakian swearwords, but plenty of Craig grimacing like he’s just seen his STI results and killing people with whatever object Jason Bourne didn’t use.
This is new Bond; he’s canned the silly jokes and wants women to hate him as much as he does. Not too hard really, being as banging the world’s most visible spy invariably means being killed – by a bullet, Dobermans, or, if they’re really unlucky, Castrol GTX.
Craig knows times have changed however, so even if these new Bond girls are going to die, they are going give him some stick first.
“Instead of it being a giggling girl in a bikini – and there’s nothing wrong with giggling girls in bikinis, sometimes it’s quite nice – there are women who challenge him.“
Quantum of Solace features two new Bond ladies who look quite similar (in that they’re both not blondes), Olga Kurylenko as Camille and Gemma Arterton as Agent Fields.
Disappointingly their character names give little ammunition for sexist jibes, unless Bond tries a “ploughing the fields” gag, which is unlikely as laughs are banned in the cinema this time around. The only laugh you’re going to hear is when you hand over twenty quid at the concessions counter and expect some change.
For all those who have just re-entered the earth’s atmosphere, Quantum of Solace opens nationwide on 31st October. That is a whole two weeks before the Americans get it. Don’t gloat however; they’ve got an upcoming presidential election to get us back with first.