Posts tagged as:

hip-hop

Lil Wayne To Write About His Time In Prison: Soap Still Not Picked Up In Showers

by Mof Gimmers

Rap troll, Lil Wayne is going to release his prison diaries, just in time for next Christmas. That’ll be a nice present for your nana won’t it? In it, he’ll probably talk to God a lot while simultaneously glamorising his pretend ‘thug’ lifestyle. But will he be mentioning the poundings he took around the anus [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

Snoop Dogg Arrested For Weed (Bear Also Arrested For Defecating In Woodland Area)

by Mof Gimmers

What do we know about Snoop Dogg? Well, firstly, he’s a rapper. Secondly, he’s all long, thin and funny looking. Thirdly, he likes weed. He really, really like his cheeba. He mentions it all the time. So much so that you might think he protest too much and that he’s actually never tried it. Or [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

50 Cent: Doesn’t Like His Job And Probably Going To Die Soon

by Mof Gimmers

When 50 Cent released an album called ‘Get Rich Or Die Tryin”, no-one really suspected that what he actually meant was, at some point, he’d get so bored of being a rapper that he’d just give up living. We’re not talking about suicide here, rather, just the complete lack of will to stay alive. He’s [...]

5 comments Read more >>>

All American Muslim TV Show Underlines How Much USA Hates Islam

by Mof Gimmers

Hey America! Muslims are awful, awful things aren’t they? Apart from Mohammed Ali. You like him don’t you? Dave Chappelle is alright too, huh? And Ice Cube. And you like all those bands on Atlantic Records, a company set up by maverick Ahmet Ertegun. Guess what? Massive Muslim. And Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. There’s LOADS of celebrity [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

Music Review: Das Racist, Live @ Ruby Lounge, Manchester

by Mof Gimmers

“Y’all got tickets to see the Stone Roses? What? Manchester doesn’t like the Stone Roses? Aren’t they from here? Ladies and gentlemen… our special guests, THE STONE ROSES! They’re all out back cryin’ now…” Das Racist aren’t your average hip hop outfit. Instead of bring the usual posturing that is seemingly obligatory in the world [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

Professor Green To Take His Horrible Quacking Voice Around On Dreadful Tour

by Mof Gimmers

Professor Green as, despite forever sounding like he’s in a headlock, managed to forge a career as a rapper. At least he’s managed to answer the question: What would Nelson Mandela sound like if he went into hip hop? Anyway, Professor Green (Professor in sounding like he’s got a wasp trapped in his windpipe while [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

50 Cent: A Big Baby When It Comes To Handling His Drink

by Mof Gimmers

Big tough guy 50 Cent quit alcohol for life after becoming ‘paranoid’ during one bad experience, or so he says. We think that’s what he said. Have you heard him talk? He sounds like a deaf tractor engine when he raps. Of course, Fiddy spent years as a drug dealer before finding fame and fortune [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

MC Hammer Launches Search Engine – Says Goodbye To All His Money

by Mof Gimmers

MC Hammer (real name Stanley McHammer) is a man famous for two things – ‘U Can’t Touch This’ and his hareem trousers. That’s about it. Think of anything else? Nope. Nothing. That’s pretty much everything covered. BUT WAIT! Hammer – who spunked his $20million fortune on sweets and crisps, leaving him with not much else [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Soulja Boy Tells Fans He’s Totally Innocent Of Drugs And Weapons Charges – Definitely Guilty Of Terrible Music Though

by Mof Gimmers

Soulja Boy, a chap who has made a career out of singing like a deaf cow having a giant pineapple inserted into its anus, is in trouble with the law. Great for the street-cred, not so good with the whole avoiding a raping in the prison showers. See, the ‘rapper’ (real name Clangy Van Heusen) [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Amazing Rap Battle Will Blow Your Brains Out! Step Forward, The Jew!

by Mof Gimmers

No music matches rap for the gladiatorial spectacle. When guitarists try to outdo each other with fretplay, it’s always with a sickening sense of bon homie. Rap? Not a chance. Rap wants to maim. And that is why the rap battle is one of the most glorious spectacles on Earth! We stumbled across one such [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →