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George Clooney

Guide To Becoming An International Lothario

by hecklerspray staff

If last night’s Oscars taught us anything, it’s that George Clooney can do no wrong. There he was, right in the front row, pulling a thousand faces that made him look like everything from a bored child in church to a bored child in church with a nasty case of intestinal parasites, and the ladies [...]

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Up In The Air… Apparently It Has A Plot

by Alex de Moller

Here’s a drama for the ‘thinking man’. The type of thinker who spends most of his life in an office cubicle or the business class lounge. If you can bear to watch this trailer then your boredom threshold is astounding. George Clooney stars in this depressing corporate slog as a faceless American bureaucrat doing God [...]

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George Clooney’s Got A New Girlfriend, So Hooray For That

by Stuart Heritage

Are you a girl who suffers from a counterfactual over-estimation of your own physical attractiveness? You are?

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Top 5 Macho Movie Men In Humiliating Costumes

by David Scarborough

So you played online poker for three hours and won a sum that a Polish minimum wage employee would snort derisively at. The disappointment you feel could not compare to that of these fine gentlemen of film after learning what the wardrobe department had in store for them. We’ve all had to wear tights for [...]

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PETA Hopes To Eat George Clooney

by Shawn Lindseth

The reason hecklerspray can never enjoy a tofu-heavy diet is because generally when we eat, blood spurting out of whatever we just bit into is our favorite part. You can flavour the vegetarian delight with whatever you want, but until it spurts blood we shall remain largely uninterested! Did you hear that, PETA? We don’t [...]

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ER Tricks George Clooney Into Another Guest Spot

by Shawn Lindseth

If you’re a fan of George Clooney and you miss the days when he used to cut people open so he could more accurately shift their innards around – have we got good news for you! No, we’re not talking about every single girl he dated in the eighties and their wild accusations against him [...]

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George Clooney To Star In Painfully Needless Remake Of The Birds?

by Stuart Heritage

As good as The Birds was, we thought that it lacked two main things – old-school charm and an oblique criticism of the government.

So thank heavens that George Clooney is apparently close to starring in a remake of The Birds. If reports are to be believed then George Clooney is all set to take on the role of Mitch Bremner – the man who doesn’t die and gets away safely at the end of the movie – in next year’s The Birds remake, to probably be directed by Martin Campbell.

Of course, 45 years have passed since the original, so George Clooney’s version will need some updating. For instance, since climate change is such a worry, The Birds remake will be given a more ecological bent. And instead of having birds in it, it’ll be about plants that kill people for no reason. And Mark Wahlberg’s going to star in it. It’ll be excellent, really.

As good as The Birds was, we thought that it lacked two main things - old-school charm and an oblique criticism of the government. So thank heavens that George Clooney is apparently close to starring in a remake of The Birds. If reports are to be believed then George Clooney is all set to take on the role of Mitch Bremner - the man who doesn't die and gets away safely at the end of the movie - in next year's The Birds remake, to probably be directed by Martin Campbell. Of course, 45 years have passed since the original, so George Clooney's version will need some updating. For instance, since climate change is such a worry, The Birds remake will be given a more ecological bent. And instead of having birds in it, it'll be about plants that kill people for no reason. And Mark Wahlberg's going to star in it. It'll be excellent, really.
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Is George Clooney Back Badoinking Emmanuelle In Space?

by Stuart Heritage

As the star of highbrow hits like Syriana, Michael Clayton and Good Night, And Good Luck, George Clooney is a man who knows quality.

However, as the star of lowbrow schlock like One Fine Day, Predator: The Concert and one episode of 1980s detective motorcycle TV show Street Hawk, George Clooney is also a man who probably appreciates having it off with huge-norked softcorn pornstars.

We take that back – George Clooney is definitely a man who appreciates that. If current reports are true, George Clooney has got back together with his old flame Krista Allen, a woman probably best known for her work in the erotic television show Emmanuelle In Space, where Krista Allen taught sex to some aliens by having sex with some aliens. We’re not sure what our point is here, but it’s probably this – well done George Clooney.

As the star of highbrow hits like Syriana, Michael Clayton and Good Night, And Good Luck, George Clooney is a man who knows quality. However, as the star of lowbrow schlock like One Fine Day, Predator: The Concert and one episode of 1980s detective motorcycle TV show Street Hawk, George Clooney is also a man who probably appreciates having it off with huge-norked softcorn pornstars. We take that back - George Clooney is definitely a man who appreciates that. If current reports are true, George Clooney has got back together with his old flame Krista Allen, a woman probably best known for her work in the erotic television show Emmanuelle In Space, where Krista Allen taught sex to some aliens by having sex with some aliens. We're not sure what our point is here, but it's probably this - well done George Clooney.
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George Clooney To Allegedly Play Pension-ish Lone Ranger

by Shawn Lindseth

In olden times our fathers, and our father’s fathers were all taught a strict moral code by the Lone Ranger.

That moral code is that it’s ok to enslave good natured American Indians if it’s for the cause of justice, and if the act of doing so helps end low-budget criminal activity in any of its usual forms. This is a lesson that was taught over and over again – first on the radio, then on television.

As Indian sidekick rental prices began to skyrocket, however, it’s a lesson that was soon forgotten. Not for long though – because if recent rumors are to be believed – George Clooney is about to revive the Lone Ranger on the big screen. Some of the brains behind the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise are apparently behind it.

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George Clooney Isn’t Telling Barack Obama What to do, Just Everyone Else in the World

by Ian Dransfield

George Clooney may well be a huge ball of smugness, thinking he knows better than all of us – but he doesn’t think that highly of himself, it would appear. Well, he probably does still think highly of himself. In fact, there’s no ‘probably’ about it. Anyway, Georgey apparently doesn’t think enough of himself to [...]

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