Articles tagged with: Denise Richards
First just let us say that watching Denise Richards' reality show has changed our life forever. Not necessarily because it gave us any sort of epiphany, or because our television glows a heavenly white light every time its on, but because 7 minutes into episode-one our colon totally blew out. We think it's because of her overall smugness. Ends up the glowing was just a regular electricity-glow. All TVs have it. But moving on to the next step in the Sheen/Richards divorce fiasco, it turns out that three years ago Charlie called Denise in a rage - a rage wherein he dropped the N-word for some reason. Would you like more specifics? Yes, we thought you might.
If you've seen Denise Richards on TV defending her decision to whore out her kids on a reality show, you'll know that she is right and Charlie Sheen is wrong. But get this - now Charlie Sheen is saying that he's right and Denise Richards is wrong! That's crazy - it's like everything we know is a lie! Or it's like Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are a couple of utter shitbaskets who can't stop bickering in public even though it'll obviously be detrimental to their childrens' development. Anyway Denise Richards has been saying that she only made her reality TV show because she hasn't got any money, and Charlie Sheen has hit back saying that actually he gives her loads of money. Not all of it, though - he needs the rest of it for his whore fund. That's if he has a whore fund, obviously. Legally we wouldn't like to speculate.
Ready for another round of Charlie Sheen Vs Denise Richards: Who's The Most Confusingly Mental? You are? Well that's just great, because you're just in time - Denise Richards has gone on TV to promote her forthcoming reality TV show Denise Richards: It's Complicated. And something else, too... what was it again? Oh yes, that's it - to angrily lay into Charlie Sheen yet again, this time to deny writing an email requesting a sperm donation from Sheen and to bitterly invoke the memory of her dead mother an uncomfortable number of times, all with a terrifying "don't mess with me, world" glint in her eye. Don't believe us? Lucky the video's after the jump then, huh?
We all have our favourite Bond Girls – but who is your least favourite? There is no doubt that Bond has bedded some of the most attractive film actresses ever, like Diana Rigg, Ursula Andress, Famke Janssen, Halle Berry and… errr, Grace Jones.
But even Bond's quality control has been shaken and stirred by one too many dry martinis. Not that any of us at hecklerspray would kick any of these misfiring flames out of bed, of course. After all, it's all for Queen and country.
Plus one is called Goodhead.
Ever wondered what it's like being Denise Richards?
No, us neither. Not at all. In fact, sometimes entire calendar months pass when we don't even think of Denise Richards, let alone wonder what it'd be like to actually be her. We've got plenty more important things to wonder about than that.
But tough shit, because Denise Richards has formally announced that she's making a reality TV show about herself with the express intention of showing everyone what it's like to be Denise Richards. The show won't be broadcast until the summer, but we can already guess what it's like to be Denise Richards - pretty much like being any other idiot, but with better tits.
What's the one thing better than constantly reading about the ridiculous, abnormally braindead custody squabble between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards?
Why, watching it on TV! And that's exactly why Denise Richards has reached the genius decision to take part in a reality TV show all about her cack-brained efforts to make Charlie Sheen look as monumentally dimwitted as possible in public.
Best of all, there's nothing that Charlie Sheen can do about it.
