Breaking News: Denise Richards Cannot Sing
There’s not a lot to explain here, really. Denise Richards cannot sing. She cannot sing. Denise Richards literally cannot sing.
In fact, all there is to say here is that Denise Richards was asked to sing Take Me Out To The Ball Game during the 7th inning stretch of a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field on Friday, and she obliged. But she obliged in a way that may have caused widespread irreversible bleeding deafness.
So instead we’ll show you the video after the jump, along with a list of five things that Denise Richards sounds like when she sings…
5 - When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like a rabid fox having sex with a pelican.
4 – When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched falling down a rocky slope on her face.
3 – When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like the opening number from Abattoir: The Musical.
2 - When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like the noise that Denise Richards’ mother made when she first saw Wild Things all the way through.
1 – When Denise Richards sings, she sounds like a a million rape alarms going off in an echo chamber made of crying children.
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Pretty sure she was never known for her singing voice but I guess you may have been paying attention to something else during that scene in Wild Things…
Paying attention to what bee-hutch?
Her Cap?
Her crappy Baseball T-Shirt?
Who are you? The Denise Richards Lezbo loving clan?
Jesus, I don’t NEED to post a reply here, HAHA, any intelligent person will watch the vid and see she cannot sing and is a blonde bimbo with No talent – but, it seems, you LOVE her so much, being her Lezzer carpet muncher, that you will defend her untill the ENDS of the earth!
Ah. STOP. This is in AMERICAN cyberspace. So I CANNOT use the usual UK/European adages here, you are all soooo STUPID!! Sorry, REALLY I am sorry for your collective stupidity in our colonies.
HEHE, thank GOD I can post this from THOUSANDS of miles away and then NEVER know your FRUSTRATION at NOT being able to post/and or reply to me!!
George Washington was nothing but a Terrorist.
Very easy to reply to your lame comment, and I live thousands of miles away from the UK. Clearly I can respond. This post proves it.
WOW. That’s SUPER weird. STOP.
The Queen wears a fancy wig.
Reply to-John Crichton
Sorry your such a Yankee Hater. I guess you fail to remember that
we (USA) defeated the infamous Royal British Military in 1781.
We (USA) are a ex-colony of Britain.
Patriot, Chrichton: Knock it off –the pair of you. You’re both making Denise look like a Mensa chapter president.
And speaking of her, when will this woman figure out that her 15 minutes are up?
Byte Me Pam