Posts tagged as:

baby

Is Justin Bieber Harvesting The Organs Of Children?

by Mof Gimmers

There’s always been something incredibly sinister about Justin Bieber. Anyone who is paraded around like a prepubescent monkey eunuch should fill any right-minded person with the dread of a thousand bailiffs. The very fact no-one seems to mind a performing menstrual period is of great concern, especially given that Bieber is clearly using his power [...]

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Charlie Brooker Is Having A Baby… HOW DARE HE BE HAPPY?!

by Mof Gimmers

People are really, very very stupid. They’ve always fallen for the oldest trick in the book and, wanting to eschew the popular kids and good-looking folk, they’ve adored those who trade in false-modesty. The ‘I’m crap like you too!’ brigade. Then, best of all, when the facade slips, the falsely modest get a hot girlfriend [...]

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Chantelle Houghton’s Unborn Foetus Getting A Bit Tired Of All The Publicity To Be Honest.

by Paul Pencott

Dreadful orange sloppy-seconds-bargain-bin-Jordan Chantelle ‘Chantelle’ Houghton, not content with hawking her fake breasts, fake eyelashes and, we presume, non-fake pregnant belly has this week launched an all-out assault on anyone with any sense of decorum whatsoever. Appearing in nothing more than a bikini in more tatty publications and websites than we were even aware existed [...]

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Mariah Yeater Likes To Take Drugs Infront Of Kids Supposedly

by Matthew Laidlow

Don’t recognise the name of the person in the article heading? Don’t worry, most people don’t either. It’s only when you mention that she’s the alleged bearer of Justin Bieber’s child that causes people’s ears to prick up. In a strange way, we kinda like this paternity situation because Bieber went totally badass on her. [...]

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Justin Bieber Just Doesn’t Understand The World

by Kris Silver

Pint Sized Canadian Pop Prince, Justin Bieber, really is the gift that just keeps on giving. Fresh from “definitely” fathering a love child in a sweaty 30-second romp with a woman whose testimony is as reliable as that of Dr. Conrad Murray, Bieber has decided to, once again, showcase how empty the space between his [...]

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Girl Who Says She’s Had Bieber’s Baby Has Ex Shouting ‘It’s Mine’ Like He Wants To Pay Child Support Or Something

by Mof Gimmers

When a baby is born via parents no longer together, it isn’t uncommon for a Jerry Springer style argument to develop, with penis owners shouting ‘Well, it ain’t mine that’s for sure, you womanly leech!’ Justin Bieber is no different, looking at the whole situation and shrugging ‘I haven’t even met the girl! No way. [...]

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Mariah Yeater Wants Justin Bieber To Take Another DNA Test Just To See If He Has Any

by Mof Gimmers

You know the woman who said Justin Bieber rode her for 30 seconds backstage at one of his gigs, and as a result, popped out a small baby? Well, Mariah Yeater is at it again, asking for more of Justin’s DNA. Presumably, the first DNA test came back with a report noting that Bieber was [...]

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Kate Middleton Pregnant: Victory For Inbreeding

by Robin Darke

Good news for all you Royalist dicks out there. It turns out that Prince William, him what wed that “commoner” earlier this year, isn’t a complete waste of semen as reports are coming through that he’s managed to knock up his new wife. Congrats, eh? According to a Buckingham Palace insider, some chatty US magazine [...]

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Bieber’s Baby Is Back For Round 2

by Kris Silver

STOP THE PRESSES! The Bieber baby drama may not be quite as dead as we all thought. Jeffrey Leving, the lawyer representing Bieber’s baby momma, Mariah Yeater, has come out and said that the DNA test is still on! Meaning there’s still a chance that Justin really was bustin’ to get freaky with the single [...]

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Patti LaBelle Swears At A Toddler And Throws A Punch Too!

by Mof Gimmers

You know who Patti LaBelle is don’t you? Basically, she’s the woman who made Lady Marmalade in the ’70s. Yeah, the one that taught you the only French phrase you know outside of ‘bonjour’, ‘ça va bien’ and ‘j’ai douze ans’. Well, it seems our Patti a maintenant des maladies mentales after she got accused [...]

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