Good news for all you Royalist dicks out there. It turns out that Prince William, him what wed that “commoner” earlier this year, isn’t a complete waste of semen as reports are coming through that he’s managed to knock up his new wife. Congrats, eh?
According to a Buckingham Palace insider, some chatty US magazine has confirmed that royal couple are “relieved.”
Maybe the years of Royal inbreeding has shrivelled their genitals to the size of Walnut Whips? Perhaps the overwhelming worry that any child with a learning disability would be hidden away in the “Special Dungeon” deep below the Palace was too much to bear?
Despite only being around six weeks pregnant, Kate is jumping the gun and has reportedly, picked out names and some possible nurseries ready for the privileged sprog.
She wants to call the brat Edward, Philip or Michael if it’s a boy. Or Alice and Rose if it has a vagina.
Other members of the Royal Family are said to be over the moon, obviously.
Even Prince Charles is said to want a granddaughter. Presumably to run her off the road in a Parisian tunnel when she auditions for X Factor 2021.
So congratulations to the happy couple! We simply cannot wait until the Daily Mail rolls out hundreds of speculative articles about EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF HER GESTATION.
WE CANNOT WAIT!