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Autopsy

Even Michael Jackson’s Ghost Can’t Catch A Break When It Comes To Employing People (MJ Tribute Goes Bust!)

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Michael Jackson’s amazing tribute event in Cardiff where people bought overpriced tickets to watch Alien Ant Farm, 3T, JLS and LaToya Jackson (aka Michael’s animated corpse) prance around on MJ’s grave? Of course, most of the Jackson family thought the tribute was in terrible taste, what with it taking place in the middle of [...]

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David Gest Makes Michael Jackson Film (Will Anyone Mention Plastic Surgery?)

by Mof Gimmers

Ever looked at David Gest and wondered if he keeps his face in position with a large bulldog clip like Kent Brockman from The Simpsons? If so, when he takes it off, does his head look like a hot scrotum? Either way, Gest seems like a decent enough bloke for someone who has been ravaged [...]

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Michael Jackson Jokes Banned On Janet Jackson’s Tour, Freedom Of Speech In Turmoil

by Matthew Laidlow

Towards the end of his dog-eared career, Michael Jackson began to resemble an eerie looking clown who’s wax face was tarnishing in a mild midday heat. See, we can say that because that’s our opinion. But if you go to a concert by not-so-important Jackson sibling Janet, that right will be taken from you. Due [...]

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Michael Jackson Fans Now Thoroughly Bored Of Conrad Murray Trial

by Mof Gimmers

The trial of Michael Jackson’s personal physician – ‘Sexy’ Dr Conrad Murray – will enter a new phase this week: The thoroughly tedious, no-one cares anymore phase. There are rumours which suggest that even Jackson’s own family are beyond caring. The doctor’s attorneys trying to counter three weeks of testimony, attempting to show that Jacko [...]

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Michael Jackson: “A Bit Of An Alien”

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson looked funny. It doesn’t matter if you love his music or happen to be a blinkered, crazed fan – there’s no hiding from the fact that his face was downright odd. So odd, it could curdle water. Ever seen anyone else with a nose like his? No. La Toya Jackson does not count [...]

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Conrad Murray Points At Dr Klein And Winks At The Jury In Michael Jackson Manslaughter Gubbins

by Mof Gimmers

Dr Conrad Murray is more than just a doctor. If the Michael Jackson manslaughter trail has taught us anything, it’s that Murray is quite the swordsman, with a troupe of dancing mistresses being paraded before the world. He should be pleased AND point out that they were all of legal and consenting age. Which brings [...]

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Black Eyed Peas Now Running Away From Michael Jackson Tribute As Fast As Their Little Legs Will Go

by Mof Gimmers

Haw, poor Michael Forever. The beleaguered tribute show to Michael Jackson is about as useful as a teapot made from Rizla. Basically, half the family hate it, the other half performing at it, joined by a cast of also-rans and nobodies. And now, someone you will have heard of – the Black Eyed Peas – [...]

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Michael Jackson Set To Release The Ironically Titled “Immortal” Album

by Matthew Laidlow

They are lots of words to describe Michael Jackson. Depending on your relationship with him, then your opinion will certainly differ. Joe Jackson loved Michael with all his heart and whipping belt due to the money he raked in and owners of tacky shops loved his credit card. Fans who met Michael were touched in [...]

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Michael Jackson Trial: Now Starring The Incredible Hulk, A Mistress And Proof Of Murder

by Mof Gimmers

Even in death, Michael Jackson’s attracts a carnival of freaks and oddballs, all wanting to chirrup about how wonderful/damaged/dead the former King Of Pop is. And this week, things have gotten really super. How super? The Incredible Hulk super, that’s how much! For some reason, former Hulk Lou Ferrigno is getting involved in the Moonwalking [...]

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La Toya Jackson To Perform At Michael Tribute, Despite Immense Crassness

by Mof Gimmers

Michael Jackson’s Misery Concert Of Cash Cowdery And Crassery (or: Michael Forever Tribute) is going ahead next weekend in Cardiff, despite the fact that absolutely no-one from Michael’s family wants it to go ahead, for fear of distracting everyone from the trial of Dr Conrad Murray. Wait. What’s that? Sorry, nearly everyone in the Jackson [...]

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