Articles tagged with: American idol
Adam Lambert Holds A Bloke’s Hand: World Gets All Like “Whaaaa?”
Oh God. Adam Lambert, you're a disgrace. A disgusting disgrace and a total affront to humanity. You make us ill. How could you, Adam Lambert? How could you - we can barely bring ourselves to say this - dance in the same club as Ryan Phillippe's stupid face? We don't mind you dancing in the same club as Ryan Phillippe behind closed doors, but going out and rubbing our noses in the fact that you enjoy dancing in the same club as Ryan Phillippe? Ugh, Adam Lambert. Ugh. Incidentally, Adam Lambert was there dancing with a man. Apparently he's gay or something.
Oh God. Adam Lambert, you're a disgrace. A disgusting disgrace and a total affront to humanity. You make us ill. How could you, Adam Lambert? How could you - we can barely bring ourselves to say this - dance in the same club as Ryan Phillippe's stupid face? We don't mind you dancing in the same club as Ryan Phillippe behind closed doors, but going out and rubbing our noses in the fact that you enjoy dancing in the same club as Ryan Phillippe? Ugh, Adam Lambert. Ugh. Incidentally, Adam Lambert was there dancing with a man. Apparently he's gay or something.
Adam Lambert Gay? Yes Bloody Definitely Yes, Says Kara DioGuardi
Even though American Idol finished long ago, one question remains. That question is 'Seriously? No Boundaries? What were they thinking?' Oh, and the other question is 'Is Adam Lambert gay?' It's still a hot topic of conversation - in fact, internet research shows that when it comes to things that are nobody's business about a man we'll never hear about again from a TV show that's already ended, Adam Lambert's sexuality is one of the highest-trending subjects. At least that was before Kara DioGuardi inadvertently told everyone watching The View that Adam Lambert is as gay as can be yesterday. Whoops.
Even though American Idol finished long ago, one question remains. That question is 'Seriously? No Boundaries? What were they thinking?' Oh, and the other question is 'Is Adam Lambert gay?' It's still a hot topic of conversation - in fact, internet research shows that when it comes to things that are nobody's business about a man we'll never hear about again from a TV show that's already ended, Adam Lambert's sexuality is one of the highest-trending subjects. At least that was before Kara DioGuardi inadvertently told everyone watching The View that Adam Lambert is as gay as can be yesterday. Whoops.
AT&T (Possibly) Ruins Adam Lambert’s Entire Life Forever
You may still be perplexed about Kris Allen winning American Idol. If you are, we have some wonderful news. That news is this - you clearly have nothing to do apart from fret over the result of a rubbish television show that you can come and mow our lawn for free if you like. Oh, and also it might have been AT&T that gypped Adam Lambert out of winning American Idol. Obviously it might have also been the fact that Adam Lambert pulls a face like a fat baby choking on a shoelace when he sings, but let's blame AT&T anyway.
You may still be perplexed about Kris Allen winning American Idol. If you are, we have some wonderful news. That news is this - you clearly have nothing to do apart from fret over the result of a rubbish television show that you can come and mow our lawn for free if you like. Oh, and also it might have been AT&T that gypped Adam Lambert out of winning American Idol. Obviously it might have also been the fact that Adam Lambert pulls a face like a fat baby choking on a shoelace when he sings, but let's blame AT&T anyway.
Is Adam Lambert The New Freddie Mercury? Probably Not, No
The American Idol final is gone. Gone but not forgotten. Following the victory of Kris Whateverhisnamewas, the shock is still palpable. But don't think that fallen American Idol loser Adam Lambert won't have the last laugh. Kris Allen may have won the battle, but Adam Lambert has won the war - Adam Lambert's going to be the new singer of Queen! Except he isn't. Brian May mumbled something about it recently, which means that Adam Lambert will probably end up being the fourth male lead in the pan-Siberian touring version of We Will Rock Rock You in about 15 years' time. Fact.
The American Idol final is gone. Gone but not forgotten. Following the victory of Kris Whateverhisnamewas, the shock is still palpable. But don't think that fallen American Idol loser Adam Lambert won't have the last laugh. Kris Allen may have won the battle, but Adam Lambert has won the war - Adam Lambert's going to be the new singer of Queen! Except he isn't. Brian May mumbled something about it recently, which means that Adam Lambert will probably end up being the fourth male lead in the pan-Siberian touring version of We Will Rock Rock You in about 15 years' time. Fact.
Simon Cowell’s Ex-Girlfriend Gets Choked, Somewhat Inexplicably
Great, American Idol's over. We're thrilled. No more talking about American Idol for another... what's that? Simon Cowell's ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour was allegedly choked by someone who appears to be a nutbag outside the American Idol studios on Tuesday night, you say? Oh great. Thanks very much. There we were, thinking we were all done with writing about American Idol for 2009, but oh no - Terri Seymour's stupid throat had to get in the bloody way, didn't it? Well screw you, Terri Seymour's idiot windpipe. You've ruined everything. EVERYTHING. Terri Seymour is OK, by the way. We're not monsters.
Great, American Idol's over. We're thrilled. No more talking about American Idol for another... what's that? Simon Cowell's ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour was allegedly choked by someone who appears to be a nutbag outside the American Idol studios on Tuesday night, you say? Oh great. Thanks very much. There we were, thinking we were all done with writing about American Idol for 2009, but oh no - Terri Seymour's stupid throat had to get in the bloody way, didn't it? Well screw you, Terri Seymour's idiot windpipe. You've ruined everything. EVERYTHING. Terri Seymour is OK, by the way. We're not monsters.
Your New American Idol Is… What? Kris Allen? Really?
Oh, this is hilarious. Who was the biggest star of American Idol this year? That's correct, Adam Lambert. Similarly it was Adam Lambert who graced the front covers of all the magazines this year, Adam Lambert who drove a slightly berserk percentile of the population to draw comparisons to Elvis and Adam Lambert who Simon Cowell practically begged everyone to vote for on American Idol two nights ago. So with all of this in mind, who won the American Idol final last night? That's correct, Kris Allen. We think that's what his name is, anyway. We weren't really paying attention.
Oh, this is hilarious. Who was the biggest star of American Idol this year? That's correct, Adam Lambert. Similarly it was Adam Lambert who graced the front covers of all the magazines this year, Adam Lambert who drove a slightly berserk percentile of the population to draw comparisons to Elvis and Adam Lambert who Simon Cowell practically begged everyone to vote for on American Idol two nights ago. So with all of this in mind, who won the American Idol final last night? That's correct, Kris Allen. We think that's what his name is, anyway. We weren't really paying attention.
American Idol: Adam Lambert & Kris Allen Fight To The Actual Death
So that's it. No more American Idol for another year. Last night Adam Lambert and Kris Allen sang their final songs, so it's over. No, hang on, wait - there's still tonight's American Idol final results show to go. But, hey, that shouldn't take too long, should it? Hello, here's the winner, goodbye. Probably three, three and a half minutes, tops. What? Two hours? Two full hours, plus the inevitable 30 minutes of unplanned overtime because Paula Abdul will get overexcited while answering a question and start speaking in whalesong for no good reason whatsoever? Thanks, American Idol. You're spoiling us. Really.
So that's it. No more American Idol for another year. Last night Adam Lambert and Kris Allen sang their final songs, so it's over. No, hang on, wait - there's still tonight's American Idol final results show to go. But, hey, that shouldn't take too long, should it? Hello, here's the winner, goodbye. Probably three, three and a half minutes, tops. What? Two hours? Two full hours, plus the inevitable 30 minutes of unplanned overtime because Paula Abdul will get overexcited while answering a question and start speaking in whalesong for no good reason whatsoever? Thanks, American Idol. You're spoiling us. Really.
Is Adam Lambert Gay? Why Don’t We Ask His ‘Boyfriend’
During American Idol, Adam Lambert has kept one aspect of his life deliberately ambiguous. But today we can blow that secret wide open. We can barely bring ourselves to tell you this. It's controversial, but Adam Lambert is... Adam Lambert is a fan of Bloomin' Onions. Adam Lambert made his disgusting, perverted Bloomin' Onion fetish appallingly public when he dined at an Outback Steakhouse with what might be his boyfriend recently. Call us old-fashioned bigots if you like, but in our opinion eating an entire deep-fried onion is both depraved and unnatural. That is what this story is about, right?
During American Idol, Adam Lambert has kept one aspect of his life deliberately ambiguous. But today we can blow that secret wide open. We can barely bring ourselves to tell you this. It's controversial, but Adam Lambert is... Adam Lambert is a fan of Bloomin' Onions. Adam Lambert made his disgusting, perverted Bloomin' Onion fetish appallingly public when he dined at an Outback Steakhouse with what might be his boyfriend recently. Call us old-fashioned bigots if you like, but in our opinion eating an entire deep-fried onion is both depraved and unnatural. That is what this story is about, right?
