Statistically, Siobhan Magnus lost last night’s American Idol. But remember that it was Shania Twain week.
So, in a way, everybody lost. Especially you. Shania Twain week was a spectacularly bad move, even by American Idol‘s standards. Not only was it the first episode of the season that could only really be enjoyed by mulleted truckers in Three Wolf Night T-shirts and elasticated waistbands, but it was also the first episode where there was a very real sense that Man! I Feel Like A Woman could leap out and ambush you at any point. Our lives are stressful enough without having to live in that sort of fear.
And last night Siobhan Magnus was voted off American Idol. Although to put things into perspective, she was voted off American Idol because she couldn’t make a Shania Twain song sound particularly listenable. There are worse things to be eliminated for.
Golly! Can you feel the tension? American Idol is racing into its last few weeks, and all of the remaining contestants are superstars in their own right now. Or at least they would be, if only any of them were charismatic enough for us to remember what their names are. But we shouldn’t judge them by our own forgetfulness, so let’s raise a hearty salute for the remaining American Idol contestants – Girl Hair, Fat Bloke, The Chubby Girl Who Looks Like She Doesn’t Wash Very Often and The Two Generic Other Ones. Make your country proud, you heroes!
You’ll notice that we didn’t include Siobhan Magnus in that list. That’s because Siobhan Magnus is no longer a part of American Idol, after her performance of Any Man Of Mine was deemed to be unsatisfactory. It’s hard to tell if it was unsatisfactory, of course – yes, she sang it in a way that made it sound like she was being repeatedly pummelled in the chest by an invisible ghost, but that’s sort of how Shania Twain sings anyway, isn’t it?
Siobhan Magnus didn’t seem too bothered that she’d been kicked out of American Idol – she leaves that kind of histrionic outburst to trained pilots in spangly blouses – but maybe that’s because she realised that if Shania Twain week was a success then next week would be Kenny Chesney week and the following week would be Billy Ray Cyrus week and then the final would be Smashing Out Most Of Your Teeth, Getting A Deliberately Awful Haircut And Jigging Around To Bad Banjo Music Like Leatherface In The Final Scene Of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre week, which would never do.
But anyway, Siobhan Magnus’s exit sets the stage for a breathless sprint towards the American Idol finishing line. Who’s going to win? The one we don’t care about? The other one we don’t care about? One of the other two we don’t care about? Or the one we really don’t care about? Oh, we can’t wait!
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Bangla Natok says
nice posting…i like siobhan magnus.
dana b. says
good riddance this ‘screaming nemee’ is gone. it took about 3 (maybe 4) weeks too long for american with well-tuned ears to finally be relieved of siobhan magnus.
her continuing on american idol this long is clear proof that cute looks and a compelling personal style can take you places . . . at least for a little while.
if you shut your eyes and listen to her, you realize she just doesn’t have a good sense of soulful timing in her singing, which is crucial in today’s pop star. with some pro vocal coaching, siobhan could do okay in a musical play.
e.lee says
“failing to make a Shania Twain song listenable”
ROFL!!
Doug W says
To: American Idol
Siobhan Magnus Contestant from Season 9 of American Idol was cheated due to the phone number on her facebook page was the phone number of Aaron Kelly. FB id#266023071895 I think this gave Aaron Kelly most of Siobhans votes and this isn’t fair. The number was never changed even when we complained and told them to change it on her fan page.
If you agree this is unfair & if Siobhan Magnus is in the bottom & has to go home i think it should be a non-elimination week.
Sincerely,
The Undersigned
View Current Signatures
bowersoxsux says
Sioban was by FAR the best! No way she should of gotten the boot..in my opinion Crystal bowersox is the worst ever on American idols top 12..she is fake, fat, ugly, doesn’t brush teeth or wash hair and just plain sucks at singing..she yodels and I think Ai just wants ppl to know an ugly fat sucky person could win..if she does win then that’s the truth..she sounds the same every week..like a fat pig squeeling..she is also nasty..wow she’s a Mom..that doesn’t make her inspiration..it makes her a whore..can u tell me who’s the father…now she’s got a bf whom she sings to…she shouldn’t of even made it to Hollywood..the person that shld win now that Magnus is gone is lee..he’s got a good voice and he’s an artist..he does something different everytime and doesn’t sound the same or like a dying pig…well I hope people get some sense into themselves and get that fake ugly fat pig out!
Johny says
Too bad Siobhan Magnus is not a part of American Idol he was definitely my number one fan.
twish says
hmmm….so maybe that’s the reason why aaron is still on the show..i hate the guy! should never have been on the top 5!
candlelake says
I agree with almost all of the comments here. Siobhan Magness was the best talent on AI this year. Completely wrong to count her out when Aaron’s number appeared on her website. Hard to believe he’d get more votes than she did and something should be done about the situation.
BJ says
YOU MUST THINK U ARE SOMETHING GREAT WHICH I HIGHLY DOUBT YOU ARE.. INSULTING CRYSTAL THE WAY U ARE.. SIOBHAN WAS A GOOD SINGER I AGREE THERE BUT SO IS CRYSTAL.. AND TO SAY THOSE REMARKS YOU SAID IS REALY LOW. SHE IS A PRETTY GIRL AND SO WHAT SHE IS NOT TINY..
StuFan#1 says
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Why do the fans of Sibahan think they are to come into here hich in case you weren,t know is the land of Stuart Heritage oh yes it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 and start off talking bad about him like he is a piece of liver???? well FYU which is internet for your infmation I would like to tell you he owns this websight and will crush you like a dog so probaly you should go back to licking posters of Sibahan and pertend kissing jonas brothers pictures of the internet and do it nOW!!!!!!!1(going back to licking poster of Sibahan and pertend kissing jonas brothers pictures of the internet)
Moab Utah says
StuFan#1:
That was awesome. #1 internets for ewe.
Rodney Ames says
Big mistake voting Siobhan off AI.By far she was the most talented vocalist on the show.
bowersoxsux says
Sorry..I am just really ticked off..I’m a huge fan of Ai and I think that its just bogus to listen to crystal stink and the judges give her good reviews..everything about her makes me more mad..I think she def should of left before siobhan..I’m sorry if I insulted anyone but that’s just my opinion..isn’t this what its for?? Well sorry if I made anyone mad..
Rex says
it wasnt the judges who eliminated siobhan it was rhe voting and who knows how that went. unfortunately the one high octane what will she do tonight performer is gone the only performer with the chops to handle a variety of material. it seems america wants people who are able to carry a tune and play an instrument. definitely the weakest top5 ever. siobhans any man of mine was stunning and easily outclassed the other performers but america loves mediocrity