Hollywood's all about the networking, isn't it? And you can never starting building a list of contacts to schmooze with early enough, as Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt and Kingston James McGregor Rossdale are finding out.
Because, despite only being four weeks old, only being able to focus on things about 10 inches away from them and only being properly alert for about a tenth of the time, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt and Kingston James McGregor Rossdale have met for the first time, thanks to their celebrity parents Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. What Shiloh Nouvel and Kingston James talked about was unclear, but we'd expect that it was the first stage of touching base with regards to a future collaboration. Well, either that or they didn't discuss anything at all, since they're only pissing babies and haven't even learned to display any form of understandable emotion yet.
Even though just about every celebrity from Geri Halliwell to Woody Harrelson has had a baby lately, the majority of them have been overshadowed by the magnificent beauty of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. Little more than a month old and Shiloh Nouvel has seen and done more things than the average human would in a thousand years. As well as the Shiloh Nouvel movie that'll be coming out soon, the temporary home in the meat-cooking capital of the world and having a Dad that makes America great, Shiloh Nouvel can also sell out a line of baby T-shirts quicker than you ever will.
If that makes you feel insignificant and worthless – and really, it should – spare a thought for the other celebrity babies. They're only a few weeks old and already they're being unfavourably compared to the all-seeing deity that is Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie know this, and that's why they appear to have started granting audiences to other celebrity babies.
Over the weekend – in blaze of all-encompassing security which included fleets of dogs, helicopters and dune buggies – Shiloh Nouvel met Kingston James McGregor Rossdale for the very first time. What could possibly have happened at this fateful meeting? Not a lot, to be honest – Brad Pitt and Gavin Rossdale apparently dicked around on jetskis while Angelina Jolie and Gwen Stefani just had a bit of a chat, probably about how glad they are that their Caesarean childbirths didn't make them as incontinent as a natural birth probably would have.
And what of Shiloh Nouvel and Kingston James, how did they get on? The answer to that is simple: shut up, they're only babies. You idiot.
[story by Stuart Heritage]