It must be hard following Angelina Jolie around everywhere – she's such a bloody do-gooder that every time you try to do something good yourself, everyone just asks you about what colour baby Angelina wants to adopt next.
But now it's time for the Brad Pitt fightback; he's stepped out of Angelina Jolie's shadow – her charitable shadow, not the darkness caused by her massive lips – to be named one of the '15 People Who Make America Great' by Newsweek magazine. What? We've got a tenner that says the people who wrote the article have never tried to sit through Troy or Meet Joe Black. 15 People Who Make America Slightly Drowsy, more like.
On the surface of things, Brad Pitt is a great American. After all, he hates France and cheated on wife – strap on a big fat gut and make him ask strangers where Big Ben tube station is in a slightly obnoxious way and you've got yourself the perfect American.
Oh, we're kidding; generally Americans are pretty ace – and Brad Pitt is one of the acest, if Newsweek is to be believed. The magazine has named Brad Pitt as one of 15 People Who Make America Great in its latest issue. Obviously, this plaudit has nothing to do with any films that Brad Pitt has starred, in, but because of the way that he's used his star power to draw attention to good causes around the world. Or, as Newsweek says:
He lured the paparazzi to Africa, where people really needed the attention.
Of course, everybody knows what Brad Pitt has done to raise awareness of Africa – he's sold pictures of his baby and given the cash to charity, he's pitched up in Namibia knowing that paparazzi would follow him around, he's made a film all about Namibia and he's toured all manner of refugee camps. We just thought that Brad Pitt did all this to try and get into Angelina Jolie's knickers, but Newsweek says that's all incorrect, and so does Brad Pitt:
"Knowing that someone was going to hound us for that first photo – and was going to profit immensely for doing it – I just couldn't live with it. We were able to turn that around and collect millions for people who are really going to need it."
Also, Brad Pitt has been busy trying to rebuild New Orleans and making zombie films, but that last one's less relevant. Also on the list of People Who Make America Great are all sorts of people we backwards Brits have never heard of, like a nurse called Ruby Jones, Frederick Kaplan – the doctor who is helping to cure fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva and Soledad O'Brien who reads the news.
But where's Angelina Jolie in the list? If Brad Pitt is one of the 15 People Who Make America Great, surely Angelina Jolie deserves to be on the list too. After all, she's the person that turned Brad Pitt onto all this charity work. Well, don't worry – Angelina features in next week's Newsweek as part of the list of 15 People Who Make America Either Randy Or Jealous Depending On Their Gender.
[story by Stuart Heritage]