Pamela Anderson has got married to Rick Salomon – but don't worry if you missed Pamela and Rick's wedding, because we're almost certain you'll be able to see the honeymoon in graphically nightmarish detail on the internet soon enough.
According to reports, the wedding between Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon couldn't have been more romantic, so long as your long-held romantic ideal involves steaming through a hotel-based wedding ceremony in a denim micro-dress during a 90-minute break in your work commitments as the children from your other failed marriages look on. But who are we to cynically judge the ultimate expression of everlasting love between Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon, when the pair of them are already thought to be searching for the most sumptuous marital home that they can buy with the money they both earnt by boning other people on the internet for cash a bunch of times.
You might not think it for someone who's been married so many times, but Pamela Anderson has a very strict criteria when it comes to selecting a husband. For instance, there's no way that Pamela Anderson will marry anyone who isn't prepared to fight her other ex-husbands during live televised award shows. And then there's the whole sex tape thing – Pamela Anderson only likes to marry people who have sex with other people on the internet, be it with Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton or that dude from Creed or something. Finally, if you're not a rock star of some sort, forget it – unless of course you're the co-executive producer of golfing-based comedy movies like Rick Salomon is, in which case Pamela Anderson will marry your bloody arse off at the drop of a hat.
All this is a roundabout way of saying that, after Pamela Anderson applied for a wedding license last week, she finally got married to Paris Hilton sex tape star and co-executive producer of Who's Your Caddy Rick Salomon in Las Vegas on Saturday night. And not because Pamela Anderson's pregnant either – because she really loves Rick Salomon. Pamela Anderson loves Rick Salomon enough, in fact, to free up 90 minutes between her hokey Vegas magic show performances to get married to him in, as People reports:
Pamela Anderson has said "I do" for the third time to longtime pal Rick Salomon. The pair tied the knot Saturday night in Las Vegas at the Mirage Hotel before Anderson's children and members of her family, sources confirm to PEOPLE. A conventional marriage it wasn't, as the nuptials actually took place in an hour-and-a-half between Anderson's two magic shows. Anderson, 40, donned a white denim Valentino dress at the small ceremony… After the nuptials, it was right back to work for Anderson, who made no secret that she had just gotten married. "Hello, I just got married…I did," Anderson said after performing in the second magic show of the night. "I'm distracted. It's a big day. A big day at the office."
Of course, Pamela Anderson will be praying that her marriage to Rick Salomon will go more smoothly than her previous marriages to Tommy Lee and Kid Rock did and, bearing in mind that one ended up with Pamela Anderson contracting hepatitis and the other one swamped in confusing accusations of invented miscarriages, we don't doubt that it will. In fact, we can see a long, beautiful future for the newlywed Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon.
Unless Rick Salomon happens to watch Borat, that is, in which case it'll be over by Christmas.