Following the Gosselin implosion, you may have wondered where all your Irresponsibly Gigantic Family news would come from.
Well, good news! Octomom is here again! Now, true, Octomom might lack Kate Gosselin‘s barmy hair, or Jon Gosselin‘s barmy hair or the Duggar family‘s crackpot religious beliefs, but she does have one thing – approximately 19 billion children. And presumably chronic exhaustion. And presumably a massive flap of loose, veiny skin dangling from her abdomen that looks like Hagrid‘s gigantic, billowing nutsack.
But let’s focus on the kid thing for now. Octomom has, in fact, got so many children that her fertility doctor has been accused of gross negligence and could lose his medical license as a result. So that’s fun.
The Irresponsibly Gigantic Family market might have become a bit crowded of late, but we’ll always reserve a special place in our heart for Octomom Nadya Suleman. The Gosselins turned out to be more about the corrupting power of ambition than anything to do with how many children they’d squirted out, and the Duggar family‘s religious beliefs prevent them from using the internet, which makes insulting them a lot less fun. But Octomom? She’s purely about the babies.
She’s got 14 of them in total. She had one baby, then another one, then another one, then another one, then two of them, and then eight babies all at once last year. We weren’t there to see the octuplet birth and, since Octomom wasn’t able to find a buyer for her grisly birth tape, we’ll have to presume that the procedure closely resembled either the steady thwump of a tennis ball machine or an industrial-scale popcorn maker gone tragically out of control. The truth is we just don’t know.
But anyway. Nadya Suleman had her eight babies because there were six leftover embryos from previous fertilisation attempts and she wanted all of them shoved into her at once, with two embryos later breaking off to become twins. The doctor who undertook this procedure was Dr Michael Kamrava, and he’s been accused of gross negligence by the California Medical Board in a 13-page document as a result. People reports:
The number of embryos Kamrava transferred in July 2008 was so abnormal they “should not be transferred into any woman, regardless of age” and the transfers went “beyond the reasonable judgment of any treating physician.” The papers suggest Suleman’s actions put her current and future children at risk, and Kamrava should have sent Suleman to therapy instead.
It’s easy to focus on the negative, though, isn’t it? Sure, it might have been a little cavalier to impregnate a woman with six embryos at once, but look at all the good that’s come of it. Octomom now has 14 beautiful smiling children who presumably writhe about at night like beautiful maggots in a wonderful tub. Plus, although she turned down the chance to star in a porn film herself, she’s nevertheless acted as the inspiration for the seminal, heart-rending erotic movie Coctomom. Plus, you know, she’s probably got a vagina like a sunken bath, and who among us can really say that?
So hey, California Medical Board, give Dr Michael Kamrava a break. Unless Octomom ends up being given a reality TV show on TLC, that is, in which case you should whip that license away from him as quick as you bloody can.
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Frann says
Who do you think you are name calling these people what you did. You are an idiot and need to be taken out of print. If you don’t have something truthful to say, keep your mouth shut about Kate and the Duggers. You must be an athiest as well as an idiot.
Judy says
He didn’t say anything that wasn’t true about any of these parasites. Who are YOU to position yourself as the sole arbiter of what opinion people can and cannot express? As for whether or not the author is an atheist, well, let me just say that I admire the critical thinking skills of atheists a great deal more than those of the fantasists who blindly obey some fictional sky-daddy. You have a nice day now Frann, ya hear?
JoeMomma says
First off this isn’t “Print”.
Second of all Duggers look like they are down home Mormons from Utah.
Eugene says
Besides, if you’re going to get all animated about the supposed insult to the Duggar family, at least spell it properly.
I would consider the fact that the Gosselins and Octomom are celebrities (however transient) as pretty good evidence that there is no god.
Reb says
My personal favorite commment I’ve read so far is:
“IT’S A UTERUS – NOT A CLOWN CAR !”
Not only are these people using their children to get rich, they are sucking up taxpayer funds. Did you know all birthweight children under 2 Lbs X oz. are automatically entitled to Social Security benefits, without regard to how their health actually progresses. Not to mention the huge doctor bills Octo rang up – get the good doc for some of them.
i says
Well said, Judy! Thank you! :-)
J says
Umm… the octuplets were the result of FRESH EMBRYOS!!! She LIED about using frozen embryos; this lie is proven in the documents. One of the allegations against the doctor is that he used FRESH embryos instead of the frozen ones in EVERY transfer. She’s still got massive quantities of frozen embryos stockpiled somewhere.
Amanda says
What the heck is up with all of the angry, uppity liberals these days? Personally I do not like big families, but if parents can support them on their own, then it is their right to have them. But I could not expect any of you to understand. After all, libs are nothing more than a bunch of anti-family, baby hating, abortion enthusiast, right?
WhatThe! says
6 embryos? Yeah, right. It has come to light that there were AT LEAST 11 ….. not THAT would be something to lose a medical license over. 6 has probably been done before, and by the way there are NOT two sets of identical twins in that bunch, anyone can see that now that the babies are getting older. Though in the NY daily news photo one baby`s face was photoshopped over another to make it LOOK like she has a set of blonde twins (past photos show that she has only ONE blonde baby boy…wonder whose egg and sperm he came from!)
She is a pathological liar, nacissistic to the extreme, and a sociopath to boot. God help her kids!