Hey you! Bored of Jon & Kate Plus 8? Fed up with Octomom’s very obvious restraint? You are? Well, good.
In that case, you should meet the Duggars. Like Jon and Kate Gosselin and Octomom, the Duggars are so famous for spurting out a constant stream of children that they have their own TV show, 18 Kids And Counting. Which is ironic, because Michelle Duggar has just got pregnant with baby number 19.
From now on, it’s thought that the show will either be called 19 Kids And Counting or If You Don’t Have A Vasectomy Immediately I’ll Cut The Sodding Things Off Myself.
Nature, they say, abhors a vacuum. We’re telling you this for two reasons:
1 – Every single celebrity on the face of the planet inexplicably died during 2009, so the world needed to find new celebrities to idolise. And for reasons too complicated to go into here, it was decided that one of the main criteria for celebrity status would be the ability to have an abnormal amount of kids. That’s why Jon and Kate Gosselin are famous. That’s why Octomom is famous. And that’s why the Duggar family is famous. They have a TV show called 18 Kids And Counting, which we’ve never seen but assume consists of nothing but a calcium-depleted woman quietly sobbing for 30 minutes.
2 – Presumably there’s a bloody great vacuum inside Michelle Duggar’s uterus, because she’s just got pregnant with her 19th child.
Michelle Duggar announced the news of her 19th pregnancy – eight months after her 18th pregnancy ended – on the Today show yesterday, by saying:
“I’m feeling sick and tired, which is a good way to be feeling about right now. I always tell myself that’s a good way to be because that means good things are happening.”
That was all Michelle Duggar said, because immediately afterwards a small gust of wind got caught up in her numerous excess post-pregnancy skin flaps and she was carried away to the horizon like a great big fleshy kite.
Now, don’t worry if you think that the Duggar family are another bunch of fame-thirsty opportunists like the Gosselins, who’d sacrifice the happiness of their own family for a fast buck. The Duggars aren’t like that at all. They’re just your normal, unusually large Arkansas family with strong family values including politeness, respect towards elders, and a strong belief that no female in their family will ever wear trousers, and no child in their family will ever attend college, and that God created Earth 10,000 years ago. They’re perfectly sensible. Honestly.
And before you start spouting off about the negative effect that the large family and slightly off-putting belief system will have on the Duggar family, relax. Michelle and Jim Duggar are actually expecting their first grandchild from their oldest son next month, and that’s a perfect demonstration of how well educated their children are. The Chicago Tribune reports:
Joshua, and his wife, Anna, are expecting their first child — the family’s first grandchild — in October. Joshua Duggar on Tuesday announced that the baby, a girl, would be named Mackynzie Renee.
Oh for crying out loud. We give up.
Still, though, it seems like having more babies than you could possibly cope with is the best way to get famous these days. That’s why we’re betting that the forthcoming I’ve Had So Many Children That You Could Essentially Drive A Double Decker Bus Right Up My Vagina And I Probably Wouldn’t Even Notice will be TLC’s biggest show next year.
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Jen says
Really? You have not watched the show and you type this article anyway? I do agree that that many kids is strange and I certainly would not put myself it that situation. However, you are a hater and have not seen how well this family is just that, a family! They are not dysfunctional like Jon and Kate or Octomom. They are well organized, clean, polite, educated, and happy! There kids do not scream and whine all thru the show or have temper tantrums when they don’t get there way. Michelle is not some country bumpkin that does not have a backbone. She runs her family the way all families should be run. Next time you want to write an article, you should check your facts!
American Justice says
IS she stupid or WHAT?
Carrie says
I don’t care what these strange people “believe” in. We live on an over populated planet. If every family popped out a kid every time the parents had sex we would all be living on top of each other. GET A TUBAL LADY – or keep your legs crossed.
Marine says
They’re gonna become grandparents soon, so for heaven’s sake, it’s just about the time to stop!!! I think having that many children is irresponsible, you can hardly find time to attend to everyone’s needs. If everyone on the planet was doing it we would have to eat each other soon…:0)
Notafanof Duggars says
Yes she is stupid! After one of her deliveries, three or four kids ago, the Dr.’s had problems stopping her hemorraging. They told her then that she needed to stop having kids. Her uterus is going to explode and they aren’t going to be save her. Then who is going to take care of all those kids? Oh yea, the other kids! They are all assigned a child to take care of. She isn’t raising those kids…kids are rasing kids! Please stop the insanity.
Hilary says
These people are so selfish. I’m 30 and a college grad/army vet and I still don’t know if I’ll ever be able to afford kid(s), let alone shoulder the burden of my own retirement. I still have years of school ahead of me. I’m doing it so that hopefully I can have A child before my body goes menopausal. We’ve set up a system here where working-class living conditions continue to deteriorate, where parenthood has become downright unaffordable. I really feel that tax policy should be geared toward growing the US population by helping women like me. I have to say I feel shafted by the system and quite jealous when I see these people having 19 children when so many of us can’t afford even one.
Smedge says
These people are disgusting cockroaches, devouring the planet’s resources with their brood. The Duggars should be jailed for raping the planet.
Joe says
Why do you hate them so much? Let’s see how many more offensive things you can spew out? It sounds like you’re the strange one full of bitterness & hate by bad mouthing a decent family. I’ll be sure to keep reading the trash you write.
Laly says
I agree with some of the other people commenting here. This is so irresponsible. I am sure that even the kids are ashamed of there parents. What are they thinking?? No college for none of them…Lets see how they will be able to raise there future children with no college. They will all probably have a show in TLC in order to make big bucks and have a house like the one there parents have. And know the older kid is having a baby too. I don’t buy that they just get the money from all his hard work. If they were as religious and as decent as they make people think, they wouldn’t have the need to have this program in the first place. Poor kids!!
Liz says
Considering that they live totally debt free and are basically self sufficient, I would say they have all the right in the world to have as many children as they please. They are also not homeless, in need, or being mistreated. I suppose if she had had 19 abortions you wouldnt care right? Perhaps we should congratulate the Duggers on standing up for what they believe in and being a wholseome and happy family. Geez!
Melissa says
Why are you so upset that a family is so huge? So they like big families- AWESOME! I think it’s great. If you have the financial means to do it, why not? All of the kids are growing up in a loving home, with strong family values. A lot of those values are lacked by individual’s today…..Stuart. Why are trashing her because of how many kids she has? This should be a positive article.
Good for them.
Liz says
So because your life isn’t on the same path or time line as theirs is, they are selfish and shouldnt have children? Thats maybe the dumbest thing I have ever heard! You sound like a jealous child.
Kelli says
Hilary and others,
Wow, you seem pretty selfish. I would think that a college grad/army vet who is 30 years old ought to be able to Afford to have a baby. Sure, you may have to sacrifice having your own retirement all planned out to have a baby right now, but you have plenty of time for that. You definitely get government retirement benefits from your army service, right? It is ridiculous to say that a tax policy should be geared toward helping women like yourself… you are capable — go get a job! There are plenty out there with great retirement packages, too. Nobody can predict the financial future anyway — you could always lose your retirement, but you will never regret having a family. I am 31 with a bachelor’s degree and 3 beautiful kids (6,3, and 5 months.) My kids and husband bring me more happiness than anything. The Duggars may be overdoing it, but that’s their business. I don’t think that any of those polite, well mannered kids are going to be a detriment to society. The whole family seems genuinely happy, if not a little strange. But they seem like good people, and those of us with kids can more easily recognize that they are truly doing what they feel is right, and how can you put someone down for that?
Brit says
And next time you want to post a comment, you should check your grammar… “There kids” should be “their kids”; “there way” should be “their way”.
just a coment says
Just want to say to that this is a harsh article. It’s their choice. Isn’t that what every woman wants? The right to choose?
And to the final comment, the Duggars have no debt. They don’t live in the have to have it now, all the best, and brand new mind set of the average person in today’s world.
They own their own business, and won’t buy anything unless it’s on sale, or they can get it cheap. They even took three years to build their house, pretty much doing all the work themselves, to save money.
irene says
they are hipocrets they dont belive in tv or internet but they live off it all those kids omg why dont he just get a vacictumy is that all they think of and the daughter in law shes going to be just as bad she sure is making up for not kissing thats all they do she wanted a pice of everything she was a nothing and now shes everywhere the only real family member is amy she does the norm the duggars are exploting their kids just for the money.
siobhan says
Have they no TV? She needs to wise up. It is perfectly ok for people to say that they are a self sufficient, loving, supportive family but this is SAD. How can they expect their children to receive equal amounts of attention and love from their parents?. It sounds more like a small army than a family. There is no way that this is a normal loving family. I wonder would they have had as many children if Mr Duggar was the one that was pregnant all the time?. I think that she is selfish – she hasn’t stopped to think of the impact on the other children should something happen to her during childbirth. She is lucky too that all her children are healthy.
I’d do a Lorna Bobbit on him and her uterus will be down round her knees if she doesn’t wise up
Notafanof Duggars says
They are exploiting those kids. They wouldn’t be making it debt free if it wasn’t for being on a TV show. Take away the $$ from the show and see what happens. I only have two children and I don’t have enough time to spend with them like I should. You know that Michelle doesn’t have enough one on one time with hers. They all probably think an older sibling is their mother. God has blessed them with 18 healthy chidlren, soon their luck is going to run out. I pray that it doesn’t but they are pushing it. God may be giving them babies but he also gave them a brain to use some common sense with.
Cathy says
oh, God help us all, raping the planet? that is just perverted. Not that I think haveing kids barely a year apart and as many as you can is right, I’m just saying……
Cathy says
Coming from a big family myself, I can only feel sad for this famiy. I love my family and each one of my siblings, and would never be the same without them all. but I don’t see how the older kids in the family deal with all this cripe plastered all over the net and tv. how could they ever have a normal life with that going on? if I’m worth anything I’d have to guess they all feel really like they are not their own person own person, just one of the 19 and counting. Sad.
Tracy says
All Michelle Duggar is, is a slut, any woman can lay there and get pregnant, but you never see her taking care of those kid’s. The older children (girl’s) have to tend to the little one’s. As for her husband he would not be so eager to have all those kid’s if they were falling out of him. Enough all ready get a tv, or a hobby who care’s if laying up is all they do. And by the way they are not self sufficient or they would not be on tv.
Leslie says
Hecklerspray as a political/economic sounding board. Hmmm.
City Streets says
Well many people think these people are well off, jus because papa DUGGAR got his work on..NOT. Only reason they are well off is because they get paid from the TV show maybe like 75,000 a eposide. Like the John and Kate plus eight. I dont know what they are what the final check says(but its a lot) When the duggars first come on TV, they where shopping at SAVE-A-LOT which is a discount food market or something.
Now they have a bigger house, fancy bus not CAR hello and they all dress and look great..I could never say they where poor, dirt poor when they started with the show. But I know for a fact they are way better off now, then before this show started….should I say a UPGRADE U..
Give me a break if I got 75,000 eposide I would be a happy go lucky family also.
KLC says
Wait so I have one quick question. How can they be against TV (and not allow their children to watch it) but they can have a TV show? Isn’t that a little ironic?
Jenn says
Those who have relevant things to say do not need to be hateful in how they express themselves.
“Presumably there
Carly says
I love the Duggars! A beautiful, happy family. Are you tabloid types NEVER satisfied? You exploit the problems of others and criticize in the most brutal way … but then when a happy family comes along you bash them, too! Just because you don’t understand their values doesn’t give you the right to bash them. They’ve done nothing to you, they work hard, they suport themselves, they live with NO DEBT, they are kind and caring supportes of their community, they don’t impose their values on us or anyone else. They have a chosen lifestyle and it’s their right to live as they choose and it’s their right to take advantage of the TLC opportunity to earn additional income.
LEAVE THEM ALONE.
Wembly Fraggle says
I have a mental image of a gorgeous Thai stripper, legs akimbo, firing ping pong balls out of her foo-foo to the sound of Barry Manilow’s ‘Copacabana’. Except, rather than a gorgeous Thai stripper, it’s a Pam Ayres lookalike and, instead of ping pong balls, it’s a series of mewling, puking infants rocketing out of her clunge.
Still ‘Copacabana’, though.
Rod says
I love all the crybabies saying this is a harsh article. Guess what, Einsteins? This is called Heckler Spray! EVERY ARTICLE ON THIS WEBSITE IS MEANT TO HECKLE SOMEONE! DUUUUH! Go cry somewhere else. And by the way, this woman IS a freak and so is her husband for supplying the sperm. If we the taxpayers have to support them, then it is our business. So since I’m helping to support them and I can’t even hardly support myself (and I have no kids) then I have the right to tell them to STOP!
Erin says
To me, the problem I see in this show is that here is Hollywood. They made a muck of two other large families, but profited from it. Then here is this other large family that hasn’t been dealt the Hollywood card. The part that is too coincidental is that she is pregnant with a 19th child, and all of a sudden there is a show “due” to come out (pun unintended). Despite the health of the mother, child, and family, I have to question the health of those viewers out there that get a rise out of family dysfunction.
JJ says
Thank you for some common sense. I think the Duggars are role models. They raise polite, well educated, self-sufficient children. Not everyone is able to be so selfless as to raise such wonderful kids, as is evident by the negativity on this board. I think the folks who say terrible things about this family are just hiding behind their own inadequacies and selfishness. They know they couldn’t do it themselves, so they attack someone who is obviously successful and they are jealous. That’s OK guys, there’s still time for you to grow up! Oh, and we don’t hear you complaining much about all the welfare moms having 10 kids by 10 different men and living off the government! Now those are the people that should be keeping their legs crossed! More power to the Duggars!
JJ says
Wow Tracy, sounds like you have some personal issues to work on! Just so you know, a slut is a woman who sleeps around with lots of other men. Michelle is with her husband. She is a woman of great virtue and should be respected even if her choices are not ones you would make. Sounds like you would not be capable anyway. Do you have children?
Angela says
I grew up in a large family 16 kids, also an evangelical family. On the surface we looked like a loving family, close, happy and we were not wretched. We also did the big sibling raises the little sibling. It wasn’t horrible but it was a megre life, little time with our parents, little privacy, little personal time. We were well off, our father was a noted surgeon. We (the big kids) were not mature enough to actually be in charge of our siblings. What 12 year old is? While I love my sisters and brothers, I find it interesting that not one of us had more than 2 children. We older 7 children had none. I know, as the oldest child, I had raised all the children I ever wanted to raise by the time I was 20. I don’t have any idea if the Duggars are happy or not. A tightly edited program actually shows what the editors want to show.I haven’t seen anything the tells me they are closer than any other kids. What I have noted is that none of the kids seem to be planning a college education and from what I have seen their education(around the dining table) it seems marginal. They seem to have little idea of science, and their view of the outside world seems to be unusual and very passive. I wouldn’t do it and I think raising 19 kids that will be eligible for nothing except blue collar work seems odd. I think it is sad that the kids aren’t encouraged in further education.
grace m. williams says
I am an only child and proud of it. I had a happy childhood. You do not need a sibling to complete your childhood. I had lots of friends to fill my time and my parents were always available to me.
Now, large families are dysfunctional with siblings raising each other. A parent is capable of raising only one to two children. I know children from large families who absolutely hate children and do not want any child to go near them. I heard a woman from a large family snarling that she hated children and do not want them as she raised enough children. She is happily single. I am happily single but I do not hate children, I find the little ones cute.
However, large families are detrimental so I feel your pain. Many children in large families do not get good jobs but crappy clerical or blue collar work. Girls in large families tend to seek their affections elsewhere e.g. my aunts had lots of boyfriends and unprotected sex because they did not receive the prerequisite attention at home. I, on the other hand, received attention at home so I never dated or had sex to seek attention. I have hobbies to fulfill me in my life. I seldom go out, I like to read, sketch, cook, write, and use the internet for knowledge. I feel your pain and good luck to you and your siblings. You did the smart thing.
Tom says
By definition, the Duggar family is dysfunctional – to our society and our world.
They are irresponsible Christians. How do they rationalize that God would consider them to be good custodians of the Earth?
And put Adam in the garden to till/serve it and keep/protect it (Genesis 2.1)
Dysfunctional:
Abnormal or impaired functioning, especially of a bodily system or social group