Poor old Amy Winehouse – after almost dying from a huge drug overdose and having a blood-filled fight with her husband over some drugs and a hooker, performing at the MTV VMAs would have been a brief fun-filled respite for her.
But no. Amy Winehouse has announced that she won't be taking part in this year's MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas as planned next month because she's busy trying to face and recover from her drug addictions. Well that's the theory, anyway; but if we were Amy Winehouse and it was us who'd just made worldwide headlines by overdosing on heroin, cocaine, ketamine and ecstasy then ditching rehab and getting caught doing more drugs with a whore by our spouse, then imagining a gang of burly American immigration officials jamming themselves elbow-deep up our rectums after an ten-hour flight full of overbearing stag parties might put us off a bit too.
The MTV VMA awards sounded so good for a while, didn't they? Beyonce and Justin Timberlake were swamped with nominations, Lily Allen was going to do a spectacular performance with Common and Kanye West and Amy Winehouse was going to seal her American fortunes once and for all. But Lily Allen has pulled out of the VMAs and now Amy Winehouse has just announced that she is too, leaving Britney Spears as potentially the biggest star performing – and if we wanted to watch a mad lady waggle her vagina around we'd go and see the alcoholic tramp woman who lives outside Clinton Cards.
But back to Amy Winehouse. Even though Amy's brother says she's fine, she obviously isn't – unless overdosing on four types of drugs then going to rehab then leaving rehab and immediately getting drunk then walking round London covered in blood because your husband caught you doing drugs with a prostitute is fine – and everyone pretty much expected Amy Winehouse to pull out of the MTV awards when she pulled out of an American tour recently, but now the news has been made formal, as Forbes reports:
Amy Winehouse won't be performing at the MTV Video Music Awards, or anywhere else in the United States anytime soon. The British retro-soul singer was to perform at the Sept. 9 event in Las Vegas, but her U.S. record label, Universal Republic Records, said Wednesday that all U.S. appearances have been canceled "in a continued effort to support Amy Winehouse's well-being."
So while Amy Winehouse stays out of the limelight to get herself fixed up, MTV VMA organisers must be looking going mad looking for a suitable last-minute Amy Winehouse replacement; someone with the danger and the good looks and the vocal clarity of Amy Winehouse. Someone, in fact, like this…
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Kippertron says
Mother? Is that you?
Adam Gade says
Ahh, I think my cheekbones broke from laughing too much. Spittin’ image though.