If Lily Allen had made it big in America she'd have been the biggest anomaly out there – a dumpy, three-nippled faux pikey lost in a sea of cosmetically-altered stage-school graspers – but we needn't worry about any of that.
That's because Lily Allen still isn't allowed into America after she punched a photographer earlier in the year. And Lily Allen's inability to get an American visa means that she's been forced to cancel her forthcoming American tour – and her spot at the MTV video music awards has been scrapped, too. This is a situation where nobody wins – Lily Allen doesn't get the exposure and cash that American fame would bring her, Lily Allen's American fans don't get to see her in concert and everyone in Britain still isn't able to get rid of Lily Allen. Unless Lily Allen decides to go and tour Russia. Which she probably should, for our sakes.
The MTV VMAs haven't been kind to the British this year. After the MTV nominations were announced a couple of weeks ago, British nominee Amy Winehouse took all the drugs in the world and had to go to hospital and other British nominee Lily Allen was banned from all of America because she assaulted a photographer in June and couldn't get a visa. It's at times like this that we wish fellow MTV nominee Fergie was British too, because with this kind of luck she'd have probably fallen down the stairs or something.
Anyway, now it seems that Lily Allen Vs The American Immigration Department isn't quite as easy a fight as Lily Allen Vs Cheryl Cole or Lily Allen Vs Lady Sovereign, because the assault charge means Lily Allen still can't get a visa to work in America, and this has serious consequences for the future of her American career. Next month Lily Allen was due to go on an American tour – to make up for the last one that Lily Allen cancelled because she was a bit sad – but now that's had to be cancelled. Worse, Lily was due to perform at the MTV VMA ceremony next month with Kanye West and Common, which would have been the highlight of a show watched by hundreds of millions of record-buying fans, and MTV has only gone and ditched Lily Allen too. News reports:
Lily Allen has been dropped from the MTV Video Music Awards. The British pop star – who was banned from the US last month after having her visa revoked at Los Angeles airport – has been scrapped from the line-up for the Las Vegas ceremony on September 9 because of complications over her entry into the States. A source said: "MTV were desperate to get Lily and they're furious with her visa situation. They've decided to pull the plug because they didn't want to leave it to the last minute to find out if she could or couldn't make it."
But forget about the setback to Lily Allen's career – what about us? Now that Lily Allen is still banned from America it means she's stuck in this country and we have to keep reading stories about how Lily Allen drew a picture of some nice clothes or hides in carrier bags sometimes. At least all hope isn't lost for you American Lily Allen fans – to replicate the Lily Allen live experience all you need to do is kidnap a bear cub from the local zoo, superglue a slice of pepperoni to its chest to make it look like it's got a third nipple, slap it in a ballgown and make it dance to some warmed-up 1980s reggae. What could be easier than that, you lucky bastards?
Read more:
MTV Video Music Awards Cancels Lily Allen From Line-Up – News.com.au
JoeBob says
>This is a situation where nobody wins
Haha… I have no idea who this chick is, but it sounds like a good thing she’s stuck in Britan ;)
bbcgrrrl says
2 points:
1. There is no American Immigration Department…… One gets a VISA (for Ms. Allen, a work VISA) from the Consular section in the U.S. Embassy (State Dept.) in London. A VISA is merely a permission slip to get on a plane to get to a port of entry in the USA. The officer at the port of entry (a Dept. of Homeland Security officer) can still refuse entry.
2. Ms. Allen can still get a VISA, even with her criminal records. It’s called a WAIVER. The State Dept/Consular section has to ask the Department of Homeland Security for a waiver in order to issue the VISA. Several brits with criminal pasts obtain them. Examples are Keith Richards (drugs) and George Michael (drugs, moral turpitude). Even after their convictions, they still get VISAs. While it is a complicated, time consuming task, it is possible, given her economic value to US entities.
However….. I’m not sure the US wants her anymore than we do…….
Mark Bright says
I don’t know this woman or her music at all, but I cannot for the life of me understand why punching a disgusting, repulsive, psychopathic paparazzi type, who hasn’t got the integrity or the intelligence to find something more dignified to do with their life should be construed as cause for barring someone from the United States.
Punching a paparazzi should be cause for expediting a visa into the US. Knocking out one of their teeth should be rewarded with an offer of citizenship.
Tim says
“Worse, Lily was due to perform at the MTV VMA ceremony next month with Kanye West and Common, which would have been the highlight of a show watched by hundreds of millions of record-buying fans.”
Hate to burst your bubble in the UK, but MTV doesn’t even play music videos in America anymore, just this really shitty really TV shows the Brits already are used to. A VMA show won’t draw hundreds of millions; my bet is that hundreds of thousands is even a reach.
In any event, any time she opens her mouth, it seems, idiotic things come flying out, much like Jessica Simpson over here. So, I don’t think she’ll be missed all that much. I mean, you could make a case if the songs were any good, but she doesn’t even have THAT on her side, and combine that with the sniping, bitching, moaning and drinking, and all you have is another whiny musician, and America and MTV have enough of those that she won’t be missed.
leafers!!! says
I can’t believe this was the main news site I was directed to for this story from Google.
I love hecklerspray!
Kaziggly Rat says
I followed a link here from Google News, does she really have 3 nipples? Or is it just some kind of inside joke? Even though I’ve never heard of her, your words have been given careful consideration. Thanks for the heads up, and please feel free to bannish her to Russia or keep her, and all the great joy that must accompany ownership of so fine of jewel, to yourselves. Besides, there’s already no shortage over here of mutants willing to perform daily, free of charge, in our very own coast to coast mentally ill freak show, to make certain we never go unentertained. But then again, a three nippled boxing coke snorting performing circus bear that
does crazy tricks and even sings has got to be a rare find, indeed, not sure we have one of those…could be quite the attraction… No no no, the novelty would wear off then she’d refuse to go home, you keep her.
KEVIN says
The truth behind the paparazzi assault is; Lily Allen tried to pull the camera away from photographer Kevin Rush, when Rush pulled back, his camera struck him in the nose, and he pressed charges. Lily Allen was not arrested!(actually she went to New York two days later)She would brag on a New York radio show, that she was going to be arrested when she went home, but.. she wasn’t, no! Lily Allen walked into the London Police department, on her own, and walked out 45 minutes later.All of the stories written about Lily Allen are blown out of proportion. She’s a talented singer and song writer, her song Knock em out shows a lot of creativity the words and melody are her ideas, (not some last minute thrown together, bullshizz) and finally, yes she does have a third nipple, Google, Friday night project,=Lily Allen and you’ll find it. She’s real and funny and very sweet.
annonymous says
A large amount of press, written about Lily Allen and her so called big mouth is exaggerated! She has admitted to saying Madonna is over rated, but isn’t that true? the rest is just junk.. she’s a nice girl