And there we were thinking that 'fine' meant 'doing well' and not 'taking enough drugs to almost kill yourself then slashing yourself with a razorblade in the presence of a hooker until your family voices its worry on the radio.'
But, hey, we must be in the wrong, because Amy Winehouse's brother Alex has declared that his sister is fine and "not capable of doing anything awful." Let's all of us make a pact now – none of us should ever hire Amy Winehouse's brother as a quality control officer. Not only is Amy Winehouse anything other than fine – we can't decide if it was the overdose of cocaine, heroin, ketamine and ecstasy or the pictures of Amy Winehouse covered in blood after her husband caught her self-mutilating with a drug-taking prostitute that tipped us off – but Amy Winehouse is clearly very capable of doing something awful, as anyone who's heard her cover version of that Zutons song will be able to attest.
When someone close to you marries a vastly unsuitable man and then overdoses on heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, ketamine and alcohol, it's natural that you'll want the best for them. And we know this is certainly true of Amy Winehouse's family, mainly because none of them will ever sodding shut up about it.
After Amy Winehouse had her awful drug overdose earlier this month, she was at her most vulnerable – even stopping to explain exactly why taking too many drugs and almost dying isn't a barrel of monkeys – and you could excuse her for wanting to slink away and recover in private. Admittedly that's the exact opposite of what she actually did – first Amy Winehouse quit her £10,000 a week private island rehab to go down the boozer then there were those pictures of Amy Winehouse covered in blood after apparently having a razorblade fight with her husband when he caught her doing drugs with a whore -but now it's been reported that Amy Winehouse has finally got the message. Amy Winehouse has cancelled her American tour and has, with her husband Blake Fielder-Civil, reportedly flown to the Caribbean until the media storm around their drug-taking antics blows over.
Which might be a while because, as we've said, Amy Winehouse's family won't shut up about it. First Amy Winehouse's in-laws wanted her music boycotted until she's drug-free – and chose to announce this on a national radio station that Amy Winehouse's father then called to say that her music shouldn't be boycotted – and now Amy Winehouse's brother has spoken up to say that this is all a lot of fuss about nothing because Amy Winehouse is the picture of health. Digital Spy reports:
Amy Winehouse’s older brother Alex has said he is confident that the troubled star is "fine". The 27-year-old believes the 'Rehab' singer is strong enough to kick her addictions to drink and drugs and says he supports her marriage to Blake Fielder-Civil .He said: "Blake has a rocky past, but she's chosen to be with him and I have to stand by that. We had a long chat. She's very level-headed, believe it or not, even though she's had some problems. I'm confident she doesn't need to go back into rehab. Amy's not capable of doing anything awful. I feel confident she is fine."
So there we go – Amy Winehouse is fine and it must be true because her brother said so. But how are we to know for sure? After all, the only people offering insights into Amy Winehouse's condition so far have been her parents, her parents-in-law and her brother. Until Amy Winehouse's great aunt 13 times removed's dentist's wife's chakra yoga instructor has told us how Amy is doing, maybe then we'll listen.
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