Nothing makes us sadder than when a woman we don’t recognise leaving a show we don’t care about.
So at the moment we’re pretty bloody sad. Nicolette Sheridan, the least-famous member of the Desperate Housewives cast, is leaving Desperate Housewives. We know, they still make Desperate Housewives. Weird, huh?
Anyway, nobody knows exactly what Nicolette Sheridan will do with her time after she leaves Desperate Housewives, but we’re pretty sure that if we all start chanting “Hatcher next” together in unison soon enough then it won’t be long before ABC is forced to comply with our evil demands.
If you’re a member of the Desperate Housewives cast, it must be hard to keep up with everyone else. Just look at Nicolette Sheridan, for example – she lacks Teri Hatcher‘s ability to stab herself in the eye with shards of glass, she lacks Felicity Huffman’s nasty streak and Marcia Cross’ flair for nudity, and she lacks Eva Longoria‘s ability to bang on and on and on about herself like some kind of dreadful bellend.
Worse still, as far as we’re aware Nicolette Sheridan doesn’t have a penis to flap about in the face of a terrified crewmember. She’s stuffed. Admittedly Nicolette did try her best to keep up with everyone else by getting enaged to Michael Bolton in 2006, but this was clearly a desperate overreach that would test the limits of anybody’s mental endurance, and the engagement crumbled last year.
So now Nicolette Sheridan is doing the decent thing and withdrawing from Desperate Housewives for good, as BBC News reports:
Actress Nicolette Sheridan is to leave her role in Desperate Housewives, US network ABC has confirmed. No details of when the star will exit the series have been released, nor is it known how she will be written out. The 45-year-old, who was born in the UK, plays troublemaker Edie Britt in the show, who is often at odds with the other regular residents.
Hopefully Nicolette Sheridan won’t be killed off by Desperate Housewives, because we’re sure she’ll need to return at some point – presumably as she realises that appearing in magazines alongside the caption “I’m quite old and yet I still look halfway decent if I wear a bikini! It’s a MIRACLE!” week after week doesn’t really pay the bills.
And Nicolette’s departure could leave Desperate Housewives in a fix, too – only four annoying, self-centred, completely unlikeable middle-aged female characters on a creatively-bankrupt show that nobody really watched beyond the first season anyway instead of five? What is the show going to do?
Cast another annoying, self-centred, completely unlikeable middle-aged female character? Oh. Does anyone have Sharon Osbourne‘s number?
Robyn says
Nicollette Sheridan was The Sure Thing in the 80s film The Sure Thing with John Cusack. It was pretty good, mostly because of John Cusack. Er, that’s about it.
Andrew says
I’m upset about this news; but it’s not as bad as one of the other four leaving.