It's a strange state of affairs when the year's biggest box office hero is Johnny Depp, isn't it? Especially when he's managed it by playing a pirate: one of the lamest dream professions available to a child these days.
And Johnny Depp's infatuation with rubbish jobs looks set to continue, too – he's just signed up to star in a film about a singing hairdresser, for Christ's sake. Although, to be fair, Johnny Depp will be playing a singing hairdresser that killed quite a lot of people; he's set to star in Tim Burton's movie about Sweeney Todd.
What is it with Johnny Depp these days? Now that he's successfully conquered the box office with his Pirates Of The Caribbean movies – making him enough of a star for him to want to play Captain Jack Sparrow for the rest of his natural life – Johnny Depp seems to want to monopolise the world with his mellifluous singing voice, too. Not only are there plans for Johnny Depp to make an album of sea shanties, but he's also been linked with all sorts of other singy films too. Although Johnny Depp isn't interested in playing Michael Hutchence – presumably he's happy to sing jokey songs about the sea but he draws the line at dreadful Australian 1980s MOR music – Johnny Depp has signed up to star as Sweeney Todd in Tim Burton's new musical movie.
These days, hairdressers are pretty crap – fake-tanned, empty-headed fools who seem happy to drone on about getting a last minute holiday to the Costa Del Sol while remaining completely oblivious to the fact that the way they're cutting your hair bears no obvious relation to the way that you asked it to be cut – but in the 19th century hairdressers were a little more interesting. Take Sweeney Todd, for example. If he didn't like you he'd slash your throat with a razor and then bake you into a meat pie. Even though he probably didn't exist. And now Tim Burton is making a movie based on Stephen Sondheim’s 1979 stage musical version of the Sweeney Todd story.
Since Sweeney Todd will be a Tim Burton movie, it'd be rude not to invite the world's best autographer Johnny Depp to take part. After all, Johnny Depp has starred in all kinds of Tim Burton movies, from Edward Scissorhands to Charlie And The Chocolate Factory to Sleepy Hollow to The Corpse Bride to Ed Wood. And, since Sweeney Todd will be a musical, that means that Johnny Depp will have to sing, and a Dreamworks spokesman has confirmed that Depp will be using his own voice in the movie.
And, yes, we're disappointed that Johnny Depp is making a movie about Sweeney Todd – the singing hairdresser – rather than a movie adaptation of The Sweeney. Think about how ace that would have been.
[story by Stuart Heritage]