Is Katie Holmes Pregnant With Another Little Thetan?

Katie Holmes Pregnant Tom Cruise baby Big Sister T-ShirtAs we all know, the best way to get yourself out of a pickle when videos of you babbling religiously appear on the internet is to knock your wife up.

That appears to be the case anyway – Katie Holmes has fuelled speculation that she's pregnant by buying a T-shirt with 'Big Sister' written on it for her daughter Suri. So does this mean that Katie Holmes is pregnant?

Hardly – unless Tom Cruise has miraculously found a nice big glob of Hubbard-spunk in the bottom of his jizz-jar that didn't get used up when he was getting Katie Holmes pregnant with Suri.

Or something.

Now that everyone from Jennifer Lopez to Gwen Stefani is getting pregnant, it's clear that having a human being living inside your gut sucking up all your nutrients and making your teeth go shit is the new fashion craze. And where there's a fashion craze, you can be sure to see Katie Holmes elbowing her way to the front yelling "Me too! Me too!" to try and take her mind of what a funny little man she's married to.

That's right. We're basically trying to tell you that Katie Holmes is pregnant. Well, Katie Holmes is probably pregnant. Maybe. Based on a slogan on a T-shirt that Katie Holmes bought, we'd say she was almost definitely pregnant. The Sydney Morning Herald reports:

Katie Holmes has fuelled rumours she is pregnant by buying a "Big Sister" t-shirt for daughter Suri. The Batman Begins star visited Los Angeles baby boutique Petit Tresor with Suri – her 21-month-old daughter with husband Tom Cruise – where she spent over $2000 on baby clothes. A source said: "Katie ordered loads of cute girlie spring dresses for Suri. But she also bought a pink t-shirt which said 'Big Sister' and two matching romper suits, one which said 'Little Sister' and one which said 'Little Brother'."

See? And if Suri's T-shirt says 'Big Sister' then it must be true that Katie Holmes is pregnant. After all, T-shirts never lie – and, yes, if you ever see us in the street, our T-shirts are correct; we are qualified breast inspectors. And we are with stupid, thank you very much.

We also hear that Katie Holmes wanted to buy a T-shirt reading 'I am your mother. Only refer to me as mother' for her to wear around Nicole Kidman's kids, but they didn't have any in her size. Her size being Unusually Gangly, of course.

Of course, there's a chance that Katie Holmes isn't actually pregnant at all, and this overtly conspicuous shopping spree was all just a way to draw attention away from that Scientology video of Tom Cruise cackling like a maniac. Everyone will be so busy wondering if Katie Holmes is pregnant that they'll forget about those nine weird minutes of Tom Cruise claiming to be able to help car crash victims better than trained paramedics because he thinks an alien in a golden jumbo jet bombed a volcano. And then Tom Cruise will be in the clear.

At least until Katie Holmes gets big, at which point we can start up with the silent birth rumours and the stories about Tom Cruise's placenta-eating. It's the circle of life, really.

Read more:

Katie Holmes pregnant again? – SMH